Not Pleasant (1938 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Geting_My_Shit_Ruined
Rating: 1.85 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jimbo (View user info) at 2005-03-16 12:35:00 EST
When my squadron was on temporary assignment to Key West, a group of us went to a bar called Rick's. It was a two story affair, with live music on the ground floor, and DJ action upstairs. Because we wanted to hit on the dolls, we spent most of our time on the second floor, drinking heavily and working our game on the ladies.
I drank too much.
Now, it's not like the sickness snuck up on me. I had been getting progressively worse as the night wore on, and I knew it was just a matter of time before I spewed. But the leap I made from "barely nauseous" to "honking imminent" took place extremely quickly. I made a mad rush for the bathroom.
The bathrooms were downstairs.
I was rushing down the steps, with the bathroom door in sight, when I felt the rising gorge. In my drunken mindset, I figured I could hold my lips shut and withstand the pressure just until I made it into the confines of the lavatory. So that's what I attempted to do. I took a secure two-handed grip on my lips, pressing them between my fingertips and the palms of my hands, and raced on. A cursed waitress crossed in front of the bathroom. I felt the pressure rise to the point where it ruptured the seal I had implemented with my hands.
A solitary puke-chunk was ejected from my mouth and hit her squarely in the chest.
At first, she didn't know what it was. Then the pressure became unbearable, I abandoned any pretense of holding back the explosion, and launched a second wave of gag-sludge upon the helpless girl. I pasted her as well as I could have. I'd say 90% of the contents of my stomach landed on her. Understandably, she was horrified, as was I. Within 5 seconds, I had flown out of there and was sprinting down the street on my way back to base. I never went back to Rick's.
Again, I tried to Google a good pic for you, but this is all I could come up with:
User Reviews
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:58:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2005-03-17 16:29:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holding your hands over your mouth may not be the best thing to do, but it sure is stylish :-D
Submitted by A-Daamage (user info) at 2005-03-17 04:45:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"A solitary puke-chunk was ejected from my mouth and hit her squarely in the chest."
The image this produced alone had me laughing hard enough to spew the pop I was drinking onto my desk. Damn you, Jimbo. I think you need to throw an Uber-party sometime, complete with your famous Jungle Juice concoction, and see how many Uberites get wasted and
1. puke on someone else
2. have sex and get pregnant
3. get into a fight with Tom
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-16 22:30:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The solution is always to run off down the road.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2005-03-16 16:36:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What ever happened to the Tom vs. Dano series?
I liked it.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-16 15:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-03-16 14:48:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2005-03-16 14:17:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
gold as usual.
puke-chunk
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-03-16 14:03:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jimbo. I was in the Navy. I never met anybody as cool as you when I was in. What gives dude? I me fat fuckers, mental cases, bleeding assholes, and I even had to do a shower watch on one guy once, to make sure he actually used soap.
Your Navy was better than my Navy man.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-03-16 13:50:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jimboooooooo! Whereya been ya big bastard! Drop me an email, let me know what's going on. judok1978.at.hotmail.com
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-03-16 13:18:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that's so koyaanisqatsi, dude!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:51:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA.
I have a similar story. I think I'll post it later.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:49:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Confucius say getting yarfed on by drunk brings good chi.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:47:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The guy on the right has a toothpick in his mouth or it's drool?
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:42:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it is comming out of his nose...
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:41:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesomeness!
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:41:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No! No! I will not +2 this shitty post just because everyone else is. You get a zero. Don't feel bad, all puke stories are now auto -2.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:37:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:37:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
JIMBO JIMBO JIMBO
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:36:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking awesome Jimbo. projectile vomiting onto women always scores a +2 in my book.