the idiocy that spews from the mouths of human puppets (806 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.02 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dr. Shabazz (View user info) at 2005-03-16 22:48:46 EST
to quell your thirst for "real" content, i have decided to take initiative and try to possibly educate and entertain those who are willing to open their ears, and let their tongues be held until further notice. first of all you will notice i do not capitalize, i will not spell check, i choose to write this as if it were simply a voice ringing out over a crowd of millions. i wish to sensitize, yet de-sensitize the strict formalities and "rules" that we sub-conciously apply to this website. for the most part, i understand that there will be the obvious repercussion of the law of opinion, therein being that there is no simple right and wrong, especially when it comes to a place that loves imagination such as this website. rather than listening to the angered calls and constant name-calling, i continue onward because i think that these are plights that jesus and other great men have certainly gone through. i am a martyr, and for that i will take the verbal lashings you swing. i am not here to sway all of you, i am here to open at least one pair of eyes and possibly begin a conquest to save this site from mediocrity.
it's not that i hate any of you, i simply think that you need a kick in the ass to make you realize that there is at least seven posts a day i see where someone says this was the best post/ best something ever. overdramatic reactions, no real critique, not realizing that the -2/2 ratings scale is a 0-4 scale all dazzled up. you people give out perfect ratings to posts for mentioning kansas, which reminds you of the time you went to kansas or some other shitty state like california. that means it kicks ass? that is flat-out succumbing to each other's egos, and personally it's not to my liking.
if a post can make me laugh out loud for more than 3-4 seconds once or twice while i'm reading then it warrants a +2. anything that makes me think about it afterwards and makes me come back to it gets a +2. something which makes me honestly think about life or how someone could think up something so incredulous, that is a +2. i've only been around for a few months but damn, the last week has been dry as a bone. this is when i decided to take initiative and rile up some trouble. if you have a hard time accepting the fact that i have high standards for what i read and have the balls to say it then you know where you can shove your finger. i don't rate out of spite, unless i am attacked after i have made an honest review of a post. i will not fall to you treacherous words, you will only make me stronger when i continue to post and gain more followers.
serious fiction on this website just doesn't flow well in my opinion. it feels overdone and stale, so to those of you (SNARK SNARK) that are belligerent fools and continue to make inconsequential jabs at me it sucks to be you. unfortunately i have ran across these posts from time to time mistaken them for something else, and i read and rate accordingly. to the morbidly obese and obsessive-compulsive jgreening, i feel that you are a plague upon this fair site. you post absolute drivel and +2 away anyone with any actual merit or writing skills constantly, thus causing guilt and eventual pity +2's to make you feel better. i don't pity you jay, and i'm willing to speak up and protest against what you are doing. you claim to have weak writing skills, yet you post at a website, where people write, stories, yeah.
oh adam, i remember the good old days when i saw some of your first photoshop posts. they were beautifully crafted and different from anything i'd seen, even though the material was a tad bland at times. you have blossomed into a putrid flower that spews forth the same fucking predictable fuck my mom with a hammer joke you told three posts ago. i request you try writing a post without pictures, see if you have the talent to let people create their own visuals? just a suggestion.
anyone who has issues with my looks or weight can shove it up their asses. when i look in the mirror i see beautiful.
User Reviews
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:10:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by testy (user info) at 2005-04-04 15:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Douglas (user info) at 2005-04-02 19:45:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I never threatened to physically harm anybody you dumb fuck, I merely suggested they physically harm themselves to save me the effort.
Also, have a look here:- http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=slander
It's LIBEL if it's in print idiot - and only then if it's false. Everything I write is true: you DO bring nothing to this site and your posts are sublime only in their imbecility - It's like you just run your tiny, flaccid penis across the keyboard and then hit the 'hook me up' button and ejaculate.
Shit man, you must have to replace your Enter key each time you submit
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-03-17 16:41:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's some critiquing:
Point 1: On line 7, you refer to yourself as a martyr. Part of being a martyr is to be dead. Unless you are a zombie, vampire, or some other form of undead, you are not a martyr. Also, I'm pretty sure the definition does not include "posting on Ubersite deliberately inflammatory drivel to try to get attention." To sum it up: unless you are willing to die for your beliefs about how Uber should be, and then do so, you are not a martyr.
Point 2: You think people are ignorant for viewing the -2/2 system as a -2/2 system rather than something like a 0/4 system. Who cares? It's a rating system! It could be 0/10, or anything at all! Why does it matter what the numbers are?
Point 3: In paragraph 4, if you replaced "jgreening" with your own name, the paragraph would make more sense.
I could say more, but you bore me.
Oh, and congratulations on trying to change the quality of work on Uber by having posts where you post a statistic that anyone can find. As of this review, these types of messages make up 25% of your body of work. Not to mention that brilliant literary masterpiece that is "Musings on the fine art of being a true artist."
If you are not someone's alter, or someone who is just pretending to be this ignorant and hypocritical, then I hope you get help soon.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-03-17 14:46:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man, that last line made me crack up, especially followed by that picture!
Since I feel so bad for you, watching you rip bad ratings on my best posts, I have decided to give you a +2. Your ratings are shit and people obviously hate you, and I can understand why you are so jealous of me. Shit, if I was you, I'd hate me too.
No, I won't ask you for your name and address to beat your ass. If I really wanted it, I'd get it. So far, there's three people on Uber who are getting shit-beat by me the next time I get to travel for work in their vicinity. Shit, on my last post, there's practically a map TO my house. Look it up if you want. Stop by sometime, maybe I help you lose your virginity, I know lots of hot chicks out here on the north shore.
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2005-03-17 11:10:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
first paragraph ok.
however you contridict yourself a bit in second and third para. by complaining about people attacking you for your pic, or whatever. And then you go and attack Jgreene about his wieght, and put a few other jabs at other people. This weakens the inteligent things you say about pointless +2 ect.
Having high standard is fine, but I don't buy the whole "i have high standards, and rate accordingly, and only retaliate when attacked." becuase I saw you become quite nasty with the whole Durel alters post yesterday.
All in all, the degree of the writting is high, but the content is not. Needs more work to be properly convincing.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-03-17 11:08:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-03-17 09:27:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh adam, i remember the good old days when i saw some of your first photoshop posts. they were beautifully crafted and different from anything i'd seen, even though the material was a tad bland at times. you have blossomed into a putrid flower that spews forth the same fucking predictable fuck my mom with a hammer joke you told three posts ago. i request you try writing a post without pictures, see if you have the talent to let people create their own visuals? just a suggestion.
====================
I'll explain this to you once more.
I post what I like, as in I post what interests me or inspires me at that particular moment. Thats who I am and thats what I do in all aspects of expressing myself. I just read a book on Aalvo Aaltar; and my most current design for a mixed use development here in town will most certainly follow the design asthetics and priciples he used in every aspect of his work. I felt inspired by that, at this moment.
Take a look at my posts and you'll see that they always run in spurts. I get an itch or an inspiration in one form or another and I follow it. I suggest you look into what something as simple as creative expression can do for you. It doesn't matter if you can't paint, but if you feel that you'd like to try after seeing something particular striking I would say go for it. The product will most likley never live up to your initial expectations, but that won't discount the enjoyment you've gotten from the work or final product.
As for your request for actual writing.
There are a few samples out there. I'm not much for writing myself, but that won't perclude me from participating every now and then.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61743 A parody of Toms fun with email series
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59313 A serious writing piece
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59126 A serious and autobiographical piece
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59217 Part II
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45633 Some sadistic fiction
These are just a few of the many posts that I have done without pictures. Look through them all at your leisure and see.
They were all well recieved to answer one of your previous questions.
And lastly, If you were a fan of sorts at one time why have you never offered any sort of constructive criticism? One thing I know about you is to expect the -2 followed by how generic my posts are and some comment about sheep. I'm always one to argue in my free time, so that's how that comes about. Also no matter waht you say, deep down you can't deny that no matter how generic you might think my posts are compared to my others, they're more original, and more thought out than a large percentage of other things here.
Try to convey your opinions in a more thought out manner like this and not some uneducated asshole and people might respect your opinion or suggestions.
+2 for putting thought into something
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-03-17 09:26:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, it's that Numa Numa dance kid!!
"Maya hee,maya hoo,maya ha... maya HAHA!!"
FUCK YOU FATTY!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-03-17 09:15:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hello, it's your least favourite poster here with some friendly advice.
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Thank you for listening.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-03-17 08:19:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for Uber SUCKING lately
+2 for people +2ing for crap reasons
-1 for saying that people here are overly dramatic, but;
-2 for referring to yourself as a "martyr" in the first paragraph
--------
+1
I don't care if you hate this guy or not, or if that is or isn't his real picture, he makes some valid points.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-17 07:01:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Quit eating your boogers, dipshit.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-17 06:22:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No he isn't.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-03-17 06:11:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dr Shabazz = Shandythedog
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-17 03:31:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
posts that are based around complaining about ubersite are boring. Like this one.
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-03-17 02:50:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You'd better stop by an opthomologist before you start that diet tubby
Also regarding the literary content of your post your an incoherent stupid jackass, Go die
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-03-17 02:33:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi! I'm a troll! I like to get attention by pissing as many people off as possible! I get so much attention this way! I sure wish I had friends!!! Shabazz, you bore me.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-03-17 02:04:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because I FUCKING HATE THAT PICTURE.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-03-17 01:42:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
....damn newbs and their "important opinions".
it's just a website.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-03-17 01:32:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I welcome educated critique on my posts but i point out the fact i am not a writer merely a teller of silly stories to make people laugh and giggle. I find it ironic when someone rates my posts with scorn when they have neither educated critique or a UBER history of positive posting.
Kind of makes it hard to take them seriously.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-03-17 01:00:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
In your opening paragraph especially, you effected a semblence of Henry Miller's voice. I believe, perhaps mistakenly, that there is something in you behind the cliche bitter teen.
KEEP WRITING
Submitted by hispaint (user info) at 2005-03-17 00:31:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"anyone who has issues with my looks or weight can shove it up their asses. when i look in the mirror i see beautiful."
Shallow Shabazz
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-17 00:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i have stunned ubersite. no one can say anything to refute me. i love it.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:57:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow, what a suprise that everyone is bashing the picture. didn't see that coming.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:56:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"when i look in the mirror i see beautiful." OK, come clean: whose picture did you tape over the miror? Was it shitfuck? I bet it was shitfuck.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:53:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Degreeless Capibara, what's the deal with the user Degreless (no capibara)? Is that KoolMang or something? It's so fucking hard to keep up on everyone's fucking alterego around here...
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:48:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:00:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
These "rules" are here so as to regulate communication so we can understand achother more efficiently.
I don't post in Japanese because noone else here understands it. I write in standardised English.
-2Shinu
Don't understand? Maybe because it's in another language. However if i writ it in english "-2Die" the meaning becomes more widely available than your written garbage and unbearably unaesthetic "face".
---
-NiShinu
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:47:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I see this picture one more time, I'm going to find that man and shove that camera right up his blubbery little asshole.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:30:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yet you voicing your opinion on a random user on a webboard isn't equally/if not more pathetic? think before you speak.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:29:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks for the honesty. the problem is that i have tried to voice myself through comments when people respect consistent posters of content. the days of one-liners are gone.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:29:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You are obviously a big fucking loser.
The fact that you wasted this much time analyzing this silly message board website and writing this stupid rant just proves that point.
Submitted by Recalcitrant (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:14:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, not everything. jpeg's OK in my book.
Submitted by Recalcitrant (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:12:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As much as I dislike sanctimoniuos internet users, I did agree with everything in this post. It's hard to grade this because you
pointed out the obvious.
posted your picture again.
had polioboi chime in with exaggerated insults right off the bat.
wrote it well, although without proper capitalization.
But you have graduated from simply calling everyone sheep to developing ideas about it, and this post does not deserve a -2. This post would have been a great place to point out the "grade the user, not the post" phenomenon.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:09:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Here's a fair and balanced rating:
I've seen better.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:07:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"anyone who has issues with my looks or weight can shove it up their asses. when i look in the mirror i see beautiful."
You want people to shove you up their asses? You won't be "beautiful" after that, cutey pie. Come gimme some sugah.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:04:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Excuse my last review. I believe my "e" key is a bit stuck.
-2Di
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-16 23:00:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
These "rules" are here so as to regulate communication so we can understand achother more efficiently.
I don't post in Japanese because noone else here understands it. I write in standardised English.
-2Shinu
Don't understand? Maybe because it's in another language. However if i writ it in english "-2Die" the meaning becomes more widely available than your written garbage and unbearably unaesthetic "face".
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-16 22:56:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
someone please see the irony in this...
by the way, shitfuck is the worst author here.
Tigre rules!
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-16 22:52:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you didn't even read the fucking post you moron. you commented on it TWENTY FIVE SECONDS AFTER IT WAS POSTED. wow your fast
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-16 22:51:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you have room to talk you fake. football player, sure man, whatever you say fuckbeans
Submitted by PoloboiGC (user info) at 2005-03-16 22:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your fat.. best run along fatboy before I cut some beacon off your back"
your tits alone could feed millions..