crocodiles (826 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.85 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Enraged Baboon (View user info) at 2005-03-17 05:03:41 EST
A preliminary investigation into the physiological efficiency of the relevent specimens reveals that a crocodile is several million times stronger than a duck. Physicians at the National Academy for duck strength were puzzled by this quizzical anomaly. Classical Duck Strength Theory had previously stated that crocodiles were small but brave mammals with a shaggy coat and small antlers. Apparently this estimation was incorrect. To avoid further confusion, scientists at the royal academy of dinosaurs have declared that a crocodile is now any creature more powerful than a duck. Here are some examples of what you may now correctly refer to as a crocodile: cheese, basketball, Snoop Dogg. The actual mathematics behind how cheese and basketball are more powerful than a duck has been carefully hidden from your view so that you will never discover its deficiencies.
Several fireman have confirmed that buying a crocodile helps stabilize the pacific rim economy. These South-Eastern powerhouses, known as the four crocodiles, are more formally known as Hong Kong, South Korea, Malaysia, and Taiwan. Astrophysicists predict that every time an individual purchases something stronger than a duck there is a constitutional correction in the absolute magnification of several point four black holes. This naturally subdivides the subcutaneous layer of cosmic blowholes until a little Malaysian kid gets a doll for Christmas. This scientifically proves that not buying a crocodile equates to the irrational hatred of helpless Malaysian children.
I wanna buy 400 crocodiles for lunch.
User Reviews
Submitted by ardubs (user info) at 2005-03-17 09:29:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-03-17 09:18:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/pearls-20050315.html
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-17 09:05:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i'll have a crocodile sandwich, and make it snappy
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-03-17 08:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was great! It thought I was readying a Monty Python skecth. I don't know if that's what you were going for but it's totally there style.
I was going to give you an extra +2 but the very last line kinda ruined it I didn't this it needed.
Still good stuff though
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-03-17 08:43:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-03-17 08:32:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ubersite:
Stronger than all ducks, past and present, combined.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-03-17 06:51:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All kinds of oddness, all kinds of funny.
Submitted by Parkinsuns (user info) at 2005-03-17 06:46:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I...have to agree. +2 for......yea
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-03-17 06:15:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Have a 2 cause I laughed.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-03-17 05:51:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what the hell Chinaski I haven't pulled an all nighter since......... I think 3 weeks ago
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-03-17 05:36:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for UCSC students pulling all nighters
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-03-17 05:29:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-17 05:19:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When you are good you are very, very good. When you are a bad you are dreadful.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-03-17 05:14:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment