Fish and poetry and someone stop the damned ride, okay? I feel kind of queasy. (1114 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: crap:non-fiction
Rating: 1.89 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe <fickle.muse.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-03-17 10:13:31 EST
Okay. Right. Rambling randomness because quite frankly I think I'm just about insane and I don't need to pretend normality with you fine folks, right? Right.
Where do we begin?
The Dutchman is here. I thought I'd have more to say about that, you know. Some deeply felt soliloquy on passsion and love and blah de blah but pretty much the entire experience can be summed up in three words: Sex is good.
I'm still planning this wedding, right, only this is a nightmare of epic proportions because I got the booking date wrong and the perfect perfect dream cottage I had planned is taken so fuck it, we have a lesser cabin but it's okay, mostly, because I'm just going to burn it the fuck down in protest of them point blank refusing to cancel the booking the other people made, something about an orphanage and cancer kids and a once a year dream come true vacation I dunno I wasn't listening. I was writing my name on the desk - in PERMANENT MARKER - as a sign of rebellion. I'm the kind of woman your mother warned you about. Such a rebel.
The boy has these fish. It's a tank of baby tropical fish and it's technically his responsibility but, well, he's seven so I clean it when he's at school so he thinks he's doing a good job with the side bonus of the fish still being alive.... mostly. There was this one very stupid fish.. I have this hose thingy to suck up water (hat har suck) and this exceedingly small and stupid fish got kind of smashed up against the sucky bit and I think I broke his spine 'cause he died about an hour later. I felt bad. I told the boy, expecting tears, recriminations, and the kind of look that only a child can give you - you know, the one that makes you want to kill yourself - but he just kinda shrugged and said "Oh, by the way, something has been eating all the neon tetras." He's so well balanced it makes me a little misty eyed.
Right. The wedding. I need your help - not kidding this time. I really do. I need a good poem for the ceremony. My sister is doing a reading but she point blank refuses to read crappy poetry, and who can blame her? We've gotten to the point of quoting Eminem and Bryan Adams lyrics; it's looking bad. So if anyone could suggest, or write, or in any other way provide me with a good poem, I'd be grateful enough to, say... cry out your name during sex and send it to you as a .wav file. WHAT A FUCKING DEAL!!! (The fiance will be making a cameo appearance as the guy who says "Who the hell is that?")
Uhm. That's pretty much it. Just.. I kill fish, I'm getting laid, and I need a poem. Here; pictures of the fish I didn't kill.
User Reviews
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-03-22 05:32:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love your kid... ha ha ha.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-18 03:56:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhh, Circe. You're a fine and bonny lass. Good luck with the poem. I suck at that sort of thing.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-03-17 20:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I'm an aquariam junkie too! Anc Circe, I see angelfish in one of your pictures - neons and angelfish come from the same lakes in africa where the neon is the food source for the angels (and they look SO innocent!) My angels have also eaten many a neon before I caught on!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-17 20:01:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
are you ignoring me? shithouse?
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-03-17 17:00:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, Circe.
I don't normally do this, but you're awesomeness has apparently forced my hand.
This is "Variations on the Word Love" by Margaret Atwood.
If you don't know Atwood you should pick her up.
If you're normally weirded out by her, just read the damned poem.
My wife and I used this one at our wedding...
====================================
Variations on the Word Love
This is a word we use to plug holes with.
It's the right size for those warm blanks in speech,
for those red heart-shaped vacancies on the page that look
nothing like real hearts.
Add lace and you can sell it.
We insert it also in the one empty space on the printed form
that comes with no instructions.
There are whole magazines with not much in them
but the word love,
you can rub it all over your body
and you can cook with it too.
How do we know it isn't what goes on at the cool
debaucheries of slugs under damp pieces of cardboard?
As for the weed-seedlings nosing their tough snouts up
among the lettuces, they shout it.
Love! Love! sing the soldiers, raising their glittering knives in salute.
Then there's the two of us.
This word is far too short for us,
it has only four letters,
too sparse to fill those deep bare
vacuums between the stars
that press on us with their deafness.
It's not love we don't wish to fall into,
but that fear.
This word is not enough but it will have to do.
It's a single vowel in this metallic silence,
a mouth that says
O
again and again in wonder
and pain, a breath,
a finger grip on a cliffside.
You can hold on or let go.
-Margaret Atwood
Submitted by Captain_Cool (user info) at 2005-03-17 16:14:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-03-17 15:23:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-03-17 15:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, I'm back.
You're having sex before your wedding?
Strumpett.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-17 13:35:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-17 11:23:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Pentameter: I am using two of those. Threy're awesome and perfect and thank you SO much... you rock.
-------------------------------
Neruda is the fucking man. When it comes to love poetry, there is no comparison.
I'm glad I was able to help you girlie.
And now you have to scream my name during sex (like you didn't already).
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-03-17 13:34:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll comment later, someone's a knocking at my door.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-03-17 12:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i still can't believe that you are actually going to let any form of poetry allowed at your wedding. When i get married i will request that anyone who has thought about or enjoyed poetry for more than ten minutes be shot in the face BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. THE FREE-FORM POETRY SOCIETY IS RISING AGAIN, AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF YOU START YOUR SHENANIGANS AT CIRCE'S WEDDING! DAMN YOU POETRY!!! GAAAH!!!!!!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-17 12:22:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have the same fish you do!!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-03-17 12:15:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She's back and she's alive and she's still insane!!!
I didn't have poetry at my wedding (you know how I feel about poetry)
We had someone read the Apache Wedding Blessing instead, which could be considered a poem, if I didn't feel like denying it.
Here it is. It sounds best when read by someone old and drunk...
Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
But there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be
Good and long upon the earth.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-03-17 11:57:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck with all that.
I feel bad for your son, with you being out to kill all of his most beloved possessions until all he has to cling to is his mommy...
wait, that was another post.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-03-17 11:45:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOVE, n.
A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.
- Ambrose Beirce "The Devil's Dictionary"
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-17 11:23:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pentameter: I am using two of those. Threy're awesome and perfect and thank you SO much... you rock.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-03-17 11:21:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bridge Over Troubled Water
P. Simon
When you're weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes,
I will dry them all
I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Sail on silver girl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine...
When you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
------------------------------
That's all I got at the moment. This is harder than I thought!
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-03-17 11:19:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll fuck you,
You'll fuck me,
nibblin' nips in harmony
but that's enough about what would happen if we met. Good luck with not killing anymore of the boy's aquatic finned friends... oh and with the poem.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-17 11:10:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Go fish WOOO!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-17 10:43:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pablo Neruda is the man.
http://www.links2love.com/poetry_67.htm
http://www.links2love.com/love_poetry_28.htm
http://www.links2love.com/love_poetry_29.htm
I have tons more. If you like these let me know and I'll send you the rest later when I can get to my books at home.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-03-17 10:43:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The more I read this, the more I am entranced by the randomness of your thoughts.
"Cameo" ....... Nice touch
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-17 10:31:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
A poem, eh?
I think I can help.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44437
You're welcome.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-03-17 10:31:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So that's why you haven't been around!!
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-03-17 10:31:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Roses are Red and Violets are Blue.....
This is always a romantic beginning.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-17 10:28:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew what you were doing over the past few days, you dirty girl.
And I find everything you write to be absolutely hilarious.
Submitted by Parkinsuns (user info) at 2005-03-17 10:24:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-03-17 10:19:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome back!
And, avoid Shakespeare, he's way overdone.
I have a Bill S. parody about stormy nights
and S&M I did awhile ago, if you get really
desperate you could use that...
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-03-17 10:18:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw man. Plus two for a punchable nun, awesome randomness, and the fact that you're getting your end off. Good on ya.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-17 10:17:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You keep spiders in your HOUSE?
<faints>