I will take your nads to make my stew! (662 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.8 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jo of the Golden P <lindserella.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-03-17 23:59:32 EST
There is an idiot techie at my school who got his comeuppance today. Comeuppance like a bitch.
This guy, "Ted" (names have not been changed), is about 45, fat, ugly, unmarried and a fucking moron. I have been printing out some documents on the computer that are in French, usually no problem. The last couple of days however, I've noticed that sometimes when I print, the letters with accents on them don't show up and I have to switch to another printer.
I mentioned this to Resident Techie Ted, because it's a major pain in the ass to save my document, email it to myself as an atachment, go to another computer, log on and download the attachment, all on computers slower than Carol Richards' children. Ted says he will look into it when he's not busy (as he turns the page of his magazine).
Two days after I first told him (today), I asked Ted if he'd fixed the problem. He looked at me like a retarded chimpanzee and I explained again how some of the computers wouldn't print accented characters.
"Oh yeah," says Technical Expert Ted, "something is buggy with the server, it's a big thing to fix, can't you just fill in the accents by hand?"
I sigh. I slouch. Just to show him how truly irritated I am I pinch the bridge of my nose and moan in frustration while shaking my head condescendingly at him. I then proceed to explain to Whiz Kid Ted (who supposedly has a master's in this shit) that if only SOME computers are having this problem, it can't possibly be a server error.
He stared blankly at me. I am proud to say, I resisted the urge to boot him in the nads.
At this point, God or Allah or whoever clicked over to Ted and me on their Cosmic TV of Omnipotence and said, "I done fucked up on this one. Time to work some mysterious mojo on this mofo."
Ted was sitting legs spread on a spinny chair. The heavens opened and a light shone down as the library door opened on Kelly, the librarian. Ted, being a dickface, was blocking the door.
"Ted, excuse me, I need to get by," Kelly said sweetly. Ted swung around quickly in his chair and started to make some snide comment. In his haste to be an asshole, he knocked into Kelly, causing her to spill her OMG SUPER HOT COFFEE all over the vulnerable nads I had earlier resisted stomping.
His agonized screech was a call to celebration. I laughed until I cried. I suspect Ted will stay home tomorrow. Perhaps his replacement will not be a fuckhead assface and will fix the computers.
In other news, I have been roped into performing as a clown for a group of children. More on this as it develops.
also, 1st image on google search for 'nads'
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-18 19:45:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll take one order of the nads, please. To go.
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2005-03-18 19:32:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks Jonny <3
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:02:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jo, I love all of your stuff, you kick ass!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-18 09:43:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmmmm, nad stew...
*barfs*
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-03-18 09:22:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Karma's a motherfucker
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-03-18 04:09:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey! I'll get you for this! - Ted
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-18 03:59:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-18 00:10:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Revenge is sweetmeats, I guess.
Great story."""
That was PUNny.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-03-18 01:59:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OUCH!
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-03-18 01:37:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm drunk. It's St. Patty's. I just spent the whole evening with two very formidable women in my house. What a good night.... oh, and I laughed. I cried. I puked and returned to my monitor. Everything in this comment may be real, except the puking. I'm too much of an alcoholic to do that, I'm a seasoned veteran! Have fun with the breaking of the new person in your department doing your bitchwork guy. I'm going to go drink more now. Stupid Satan, that bastard is ALWAYS fucking with me....
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-18 00:15:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that's called instant karma baby
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-18 00:10:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Revenge is sweetmeats, I guess.
Great story.