Pre-Teen Irish Dancing (2219 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.79 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ardubs (View user info) at 2005-03-18 15:50:54 EST
Myself and a co-worker went an Irish pub downtown to knock back a few for St. Patty's day. Even though I'm barely Irish, it's a great excuse to get drunk. We had somehow managed to get the table front and center to the stage, which is basically just a raised floor where some old Irish bard was strumming away.
As we sat there drinking our green Stella, we noticed a group of five pre-teen girls dressed in crazy Irish clothing walk by and head towards the side of the stage. One of the waitresses got on the microphone and announced that there would be an Irish dance presentation, put on by five students at some local dancing school.
Five girls, barely young enough to drink water, were going to dance for a bunch of old and loaded drunk men? Is this a joke?
But of course, it was no joke. A few minutes passed by as the girls got their tap shoes on, and then the music started. The pieces they danced to were generally fast-paced, allowing the girls to go absolutely apeshit.
As the girls started their jig, myself and Ben (co-worker) exchanged quizzical glances.
"Just how intently do you think we should be watching these girls? It's a little awkward, don't you think?" Ben asked.
And it was. The girls were going bananas, raising their legs almost above their heads with each kick. Without fail, every high leg kick led to one more guy turning his head away in shame.
After a few more minutes, the crowd started getting into it and was more able to control the feeling of awkwardness, myself and Ben included. These girls seemed to be pretty talented for their age, although I really have no idea what "good" Irish dancing looks like. Everyone clapped appreciatively at the end of every piece, and the girls seemed to be rid of their original stage fright.
Then it happened. This, my friends, was a complete show-stopper, in every meaning of the word. Nobody was ready for what we all heard in the following seconds.
"TAKE IT OFF," came a scream from the back of the room. "SHOW US YOUR TITS!"
The girls stopped. The music stopped. Time stood still. What had just happened? To the untrained ear, it almost sounded like someone yelled at the girls to strip and show us their tits, but that couldn't be... could it?
Within six seconds of the unprecedented outburst, at least ten different men from random spots in the bar rushed this drunk lunatic, throwing bottles at his head as they approached him. One guy even stopped chugging beer from his boot and launched that.
It was pandemonium. This guy was getting his shit absolutely ruined by a group of drunks, some of them the fathers of the young girls, and others just helping the cause. The entire bar sat back and watched this man get wrecked and physically thrown out onto the street and into traffic. The girls had no idea what was going on, which of course means they ran around the stage screaming and frolicking like decapitated chickens. It was beautiful.
Nobody called the police, and the bouncers didn't even seem to care. That guy got what was coming to him.
"I'll have two more Stellas, please."
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-01 19:23:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2005-03-21 07:44:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Cos its not patty's day you fucktards, Its Saint patricks day, Paddys day etc, NOT FUCKING PATTYS DAY.
Americans are so fucking dumb they cant even spell the name of the most famous patron saint day on the entire fucking planet.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-19 02:44:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So damned funny.
Aaahh St Patty's day... yeah I did absolutely nothing.
BUT NEXT YEAR MY FRIENDS, NEXT YEAR WILL BE BIG
Submitted by boneface (user info) at 2005-03-19 02:13:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-19 01:56:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Irish in me. The closest I've got is scot. Northern scots who were actually vikings. And the vikings founded dublin. Thus giving me the smallest of possible links to the irish people and justifying drinking on st patty's. The end.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-03-19 01:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Only in the south.
Git R Dun
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-03-18 22:51:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I only read the important part. Funny shit, here.
Submitted by PrettyBondage (user info) at 2005-03-18 22:39:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
we had irish dancers at my school on thursday...everyone could see up their skirts cause theyw ere on a raise stage...but they were good dancers..
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-03-18 20:22:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So I am guessing there was no showing of tits?
I hope I never have daughters.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-03-18 19:59:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-18 19:54:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to give you a +1... but then I read this:
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:21:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't worry, about about the sixth or seventh punch I could barely feel a thing. I did, however, get a sympathy fuck from the one on the left.
***
Which bumped it up to +2.
Good job, Doug!!
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-03-18 17:07:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:52:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:42:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
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you knew someone would throw that in there
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:42:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:40:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny, in a weird sort of way.
Ebola - Looks like the McInerneys are from Mayport, FL
http://www.mcinerney.navy.mil/
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:37:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story.
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:24:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha, that totally rules. There a bunch of girls who do that stuff at my school and a couple even competed internationally I think. They sometimes dance at assemblies and stuff.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:21:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't worry, about about the sixth or seventh punch I could barely feel a thing. I did, however, get a sympathy fuck from the one on the left.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"It's proud I am to be Irish!"
Name the movie.
I'm Irish, by the way. McInerney is in my my middle name, my mother's maiden. Can anyone tell me where they're from?
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:09:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hm. I've never seen high kicks in any "real" irish dancing. Maybe some falling-face-first-into-the-corner-of-the-bar-and-nearly-losing-an-eye. Perhaps a bit of shambling-around-like-a-drunken-retard. And I think one time I saw the running-man.
But only once.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:04:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love watching Irish dancing. Except for that "Lord of the Dance" queermonkey - he sucks.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
first funny saint patricks day themed post i have read.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:02:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome on 6.54 levels
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-03-18 16:00:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAAH!!
This was very funny!
(did they show their tits ??)
just wondering.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-18 15:59:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2005-03-18 15:54:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"TAKE IT OFF," came a scream from the back of the room. "SHOW US YOUR TITS!"
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Ha! That is wrong on so many levels.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-03-18 15:54:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was excellent lol. I've read a lot of crap this morning, this was a well appreciated post.
So tell me, were they hot 12 year olds?
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-03-18 15:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAWT!
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-03-18 15:53:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, Gad Bless dem boys. Dat's the way t'ing SHOULD be.