Gotta Show the Little Bastard Who's Boss (1224 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.42 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Manicmother (View user info) at 2005-03-18 19:14:35 EST
So does anybody know what the hell an extra electrical charge in your heart means?
It means a racing heartbeat so hard and heavy that your blood pressure shoots up into the stratosphere and you pass out. It means that some cell in your heart decides it doesn't like the rhythem and goes for broke, screwing every other cell up. It means you are found by your spouse, unconcious on your bedroom floor, while your children have destroyed your house in the 20 mins. it took him to race home to see why you, all of a sudden stopped, talking on the phone.
In short it means one fucked up Manicmother.
I'm screwed. I now have a cardiologist to add to the already packed schedule I live through.
This has happened before, though passing out for 20 mins. is a new one for me. Over the years I have had echocardiograms, ekg's, and heart moniters trying to figure out what in the blue hell was wrong with my ticker. Now, after almost 15 years of tinkering, they think they have finally figured it out. Now I get to look foward to an angioplasty to find and annihilate the little bastard who's messing with my beat. Lovely, just lovely.
So has any of you Uberites had an angioplasty? It sounds ugly. A wire is guided up from the inner thigh, through the femoral vein to your heart. Then, for me at least, they will poke around at the little organ keeping me alive and shoot small electrical charges into the tissue untill the little pain in the ass (yeah, yeah I know it's my heart but who cares) screwing with my life jumps up and once again sends my heart rate into space. Then, the kind doctor was nice enough to tell me, they kill it off with an even bigger electrical shock ending the little bastard's shot at the big time by causing a heart attack with it's tomfoolery. Sounds like fun doesn't it?
I don't know.....................kinda sounds like shit if you ask me.
User Reviews
Submitted by phauna (user info) at 2007-01-02 21:21:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Flesh wound.
Submitted by Obscured_by_Clouds (user info) at 2005-08-25 23:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Homer: No TV and No Beer Make Homer ... something something.
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!
Treehouse of Horror V
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-12 20:23:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EVERYONE ON THIS POST WANTS TO ASS FUCK YOU IN THE ASS
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2005-04-25 15:16:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Walk it off
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-04-19 19:16:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 to piss off EscapeArtist
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-26 14:57:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that's gotta be rough.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-03-26 14:02:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by podium (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:56:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2005-03-22 15:42:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Maybe that's whats wrong with my heart, I'm just a young man this shouldn't happen to me, I'm too beautiful to die. +1 because this post may have saved a very speacial mans life.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-03-22 15:29:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ativan..
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-03-21 09:44:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sucks to hear about that. Good luck.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-03-21 09:22:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That is probably the most gross picture I have seen in a LONG while.
Good luck.
Submitted by NocternalDragon (user info) at 2005-03-19 14:22:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Tell me about it man, I just love those heart monitors, the little mp3 sized ones arent so bad but the big fucker thats the size of a Dvd player with the 12 wires is a fucking bitch and a half to be carrying around. They tell you to just go around with your day like normal but how in the hell can you? I feel your pain, I have similer proplems and im only 24!!!
Hope you get better man.
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-19 13:59:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear MM,
I always said your posts were electrifying.
Now I know why.....
I won't wish you luck cos it will be a breeze
Aff
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-19 08:39:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck with that.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-03-19 08:23:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
28 actually, but this has been an ongoing problem since my teens.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-03-19 08:22:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Try and stop the worry uh? and shlongys a fuckin worry at times ,enough to make any sick bastard worry.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-19 07:51:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought she was closer to twenty.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-03-19 07:33:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aren't you a bit young for heart surgery? You even 30?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-18 20:53:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh shit, I forgot to rate this.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-03-18 20:09:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What can I say, Shlongy? It's not the lifestyle, it's a mechanical issue.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-03-18 19:54:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hang in there Manic.
University of Michigan has a great hospital. Ann Arbor. Me. Just think about it, is all I'm saying.
Seriously, though, ya gotta make it. Be strong.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-03-18 19:53:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry to hear it. Hope everything turns out well.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-18 19:46:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
But I do hope you get better. After all, you're Mrs. Shlongy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-18 19:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You're always stressed. Are you a meth addict?
If your life sucks as much as you say it does...CHANGE IT, for chrissakes.
Well, the only reason I'm not -2-ing your stressed, dirty looking ass is because you did get rid of the fucking capital letters.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-03-18 19:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, I just had to let this fly. I had a VERY fucked up afternoon.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2005-03-18 19:34:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's because you have kids. None of this happened before the kids right? Kids will fuck you up man.
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-03-18 19:28:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You couldn't just settle for Tachycardia
You had to ramp it up a notch or so
Bummer......
Submitted by grandturismo (user info) at 2005-03-18 19:26:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've always wondered how surgeons manage to fix a human being, with all that delicate tissue, the close proximity of veins and arteries to eachother, and vital organs. I mean, look at that complicated mess!