The Parking Lot (1215 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: fiction
Rating: 1.91 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2005-03-18 23:53:58 EST
The mounds of old dirty snow that punctuated the parking-lot reminded me of the whales that beach themselves along the sandy beaches of New Zealand. Upon the realization of this awful imagery- the death and decay of innocence- that these huge mammals represent to me, the lot itself suddenly seemed to morph into a desolate beach.
Where were the local villagers with their wet sheets and caring words? Who would cool these mammoths, who would ease their suffering?
As I approached the nearest whale, I kicked the edge of it, sending dirt and ice flying and exposing the fresh white snow beneath. More purity for the city to corrupt.
I suppose I was in a sour mood. Certain things breed melancholy within me: Oceans, Great Lakes, Beached Whales and dusk. Oh, and summer nights.
When I lived at home, I'd often sneak out into the back yard at night. The darkness was blinding and the air would always be empty. If I listened I could hear the noises of the night; the crickets would make me cringe, neighborhood dogs would bark (always seeming too near, too fierce, unseen fangs and drool hiding away in the night). I'd tiptoe though the yard, and sit in the wet grass near the back.
The dampness would always give me a chill, making me curl up onto myself. I'd look to the sky, intimidated by the number of stars and humbled by the insignificance of life. Eternity and Death would creep slowly into the back recesses of my mind, making an appearance before I realized they had even begun planning the party.
As soon as these morbid thoughts tickled my grey-matter, I'd brush them away. I'd force myself to think of the boys at school, the pool-party Andrea was throwing next week, the family vacation, the cat- the cat died... death...
Eternity...
Stop. I'd stop. I'd stop without knowing that my thoughts had even turned.
By the time I saw the light of the star, it was dead. The dog is buried not far from here.
The year before, in South Carolina I had sat with a boy and watched the night fall over the ocean, I had acted as if my stomach didn't churn each time he ran his fingers through my hair, and I listened to his stories about tattoos and parties as if I had once shared such experiences.
He was 16, I was 12... An older boy; a boy that drank and had tattoos and was a singer in a band. His dad was in prison, but it was a bum rap. He was so cool. The ocean was so deep and wide and dark. Jerry and I were pen-pals for 4 years; the last letter he sent me was from the same prison his dad was in when I met him.
Watching fireworks across Lake Michigan makes me ill. I hate seeing those Wisconsin flares rocket out into the night. The friends that surround me only make me feel more lonesome. Children running along the shore only make me yearn for a stronghold.
For peace.
Of course, war is unsettling. The power... the lack of power I have over any events is nearly debilitating. I went to college with dreams of signing up for the State Department. My dreams faltered when I realized I'd never have the ability to closely follow any governmental orders- let alone orders from my own government.
When I was young- probably the same years that I spent summers alone in the back yard- I loved the movie Dirty Dancing. Like Baby, I wanted to join the Peace Corps. In my Anth 350 course two years ago I heard an anecdote that reminded me of my dreams.
There was a village in Africa where it was socially unacceptable to be alone. Whenever one of the Peace Corps volunteers tried to find solitude, they would be barraged by nearly the whole village, in an effort to "cheer them up". After a few months, this got to be tiresome for the volunteers. They never had the chance to rest, recharge or regroup. The more they pushed away, the more the village pushed back.
Maybe Americans need a little pushing. Someone needs to push our families back together, bind our communities with love and compassion. Instead, we'll simply continue to while away our existances- wrapped in solitude and superficiality.
Pretty soon the snow will melt, driving those whales into the ground. Pretty soon I can sit on the deck at home, at moms, and have a beer while admiring the stars, and trying not to let life weigh heavy on my shoulders.
User Reviews
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-01-29 05:30:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is exactly 20000 posts behind another one of yours.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-24 16:08:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for reminding me of summer here near the lakes. It will probably be my last one this year...
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-03-23 18:45:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-23 09:07:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-18 23:57:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
I read somewhere- or heard... maybe on NPR... that the levels of depression in America could be due to the fact that more than most cultures we have a strong sense of SELF, but we also have a strong belief system (MOST americans believe in SOME form of higher power).
Then this issue of SELF conflicts with the belief in "something more"... our pride in our own logic, or control and our inability to accept irrationality conflicts with our deep rooted system of beliefs. """"
Whoever said that is an idiot who just doesn't want to admit that depression is directly link to the western lifestyle. We worry about the stupidest shit ever because we've got nothing to stimulate us, no challenge. Add winter to that and there you have it. A bunch of zombies feeding off a cathodic tube, living other peoples' lives.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-23 09:07:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-18 23:57:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
I read somewhere- or heard... maybe on NPR... that the levels of depression in America could be due to the fact that more than most cultures we have a strong sense of SELF, but we also have a strong belief system (MOST americans believe in SOME form of higher power).
Then this issue of SELF conflicts with the belief in "something more"... our pride in our own logic, or control and our inability to accept irrationality conflicts with our deep rooted system of beliefs. """"
Or that you/we are all to rich and worry about trivialities.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:11:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Supercords (user info) at 2005-03-22 16:10:46 (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
....
So you're NEW... only 8 reviews... and you dug through old posts of mine to -1 this.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Submitted by Supercords (user info) at 2005-03-22 16:10:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-20 22:13:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, sadly enough, this is how my brain functions- sober.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-03-20 20:45:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i think you were high when you wrote this...
which rules.
and then i saw wisconsin in the middle of the text. and my heart lept with joy as i may have come across the only other uberer from wisconsin.
and then i realized i'm all alone. dammit.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-20 20:30:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Be quiet, wiggles.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-20 17:58:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks, Corn. You're pretty fine yourself.
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-03-20 15:19:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-20 15:04:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good, but what happened to the whole "no more Uber, not even reviews"?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-20 12:23:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
TheCaes- To answer your question in the other post- I'm from Michigan, Detroit area. You're a damn fine writer, man, keep going.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-20 03:45:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, you're reading a lot of my stuff. Yay me! Thanks...I'd return the favour, but by the time I read your 153 posts, I would be old and feeble. Though I will totally pay close attention to anything you submit in the future. You rock pretty hard.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-19 23:43:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Gizzle dude- I tried. (No, I really didn't... you can't take much of what I say seriously... or you can take it seriously, but in the back of your head you have to remember that I'll probably backpedal)
Gizmo- Er... thanks? My name is derived from my REAL first name (Corinne). My REAL nic-name is Corn, and somehow the nugget got attached... so when it came to an INTERNET name, it was the obvious choice.
Shitfuck- Thanks babe- love you, too!
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-03-19 20:28:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry to do this but we're wasted
http://www.ubersite.com/m/62286
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-19 20:18:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Watching fireworks across Lake Michigan makes me ill. I hate seeing those Wisconsin flares rocket out into the night. The friends that surround me only make me feel more lonesome. Children running along the shore only make me yearn for a stronghold."
YES! Fucking right, you are! I couldn't agree more with what you said there.
What a nice piece of writing. This was really great, Corn. I'm really really impressed.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-03-19 20:11:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So much to take in in so few words. You are star-born. +++++
Submitted by Captain_Cool (user info) at 2005-03-19 19:26:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great Read.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-03-19 19:05:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-03-19 16:55:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why did this have to happen now, during prime time, when TV's
brightest stars come out to shine?
-- Homer Simpson
Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes?
Beautiful imagery.
Submitted by Gizmo (user info) at 2005-03-19 14:44:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the name you chose you are a mighty deep thinker.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-19 14:20:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-19 13:54:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-18 21:44:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
What's the score here?
Dude, maybe I should leave for 3 months?
I'm totally going to. Starting now.
(Mark my words!)
------------------------------------------------------------------
hmmmmmmmmmm.......
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-03-19 13:15:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking gay.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-19 09:37:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-03-19 09:02:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, this really did not suck...
I love your take on this piles of snow as beached whales. Vivid. Our individuality plays a great deal in our development as a culture. We are a people of "I." Why else would we need all this bullshit team building crap. However, I have to say I disagree on one point - I say we coddle our children too much in the United States. Hear No, See No, Speak No Evil. We're creating a generation of weaklings. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to brutalize the little ones, but we shouldn't protect them for EVERYTHING.
Or maybe I'm full of it. Anyhow, you get a big plus two.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-03-19 05:31:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Couldn't agree more.
But now there's too much rush to earn the mighty dollar.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-19 05:14:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
RESULT IN A!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-19 05:13:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
not "end in a"- "end to a".
Or what? What did I just type. God damn 3 hours sleep.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-19 05:07:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ninja... don't you think if we "cradled our young" more it would inevitably end to a more closeknit society?
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-03-19 03:53:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That or a good beating. i used to hate my dad a little, until i realized he taught me everything I need to survive. We don't need to be pushed together, that just makes more problems. We should should just be cradling our young ones closer.
And not being fat lazy springer watching welfare parents.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-03-19 01:58:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A well written piece.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-19 01:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the snow too.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-03-19 01:08:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What a wonderful way to wind down my evening. A nice read, Corinne.
Emotional intrigue.
I really enjoyed this.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-03-19 00:39:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
speechless...I'll think of a real comment later
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-18 23:57:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I read somewhere- or heard... maybe on NPR... that the levels of depression in America could be due to the fact that more than most cultures we have a strong sense of SELF, but we also have a strong belief system (MOST americans believe in SOME form of higher power).
Then this issue of SELF conflicts with the belief in "something more"... our pride in our own logic, or control and our inability to accept irrationality conflicts with our deep rooted system of beliefs.