What if law schools were rappers? (824 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.6 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Enraged Baboon (View user info) at 2005-03-21 10:43:55 EST
I started law school a month ago. I have been keeping an almost daily log of my misadventures at http://www.enragedbaboon.com/lawschool and I remembered that many people liked my post about countries being RPG characters ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/59655 ), so I humbly present:
WHAT IF LAW SCHOOLS WERE RAPPERS?
For the benefit of science I just imagined what it would be like if law schools were rappers. Remember, this is strictly in the name of science and definitely not in the name of marijuana. Law schools have a lot in common with rappers: they both have money, they both have Bentleys, and they both represent with mad gang colors. Law schools also wear Fubu clothing and have giant iced-out chains draped over their roof, but that might only be inside my brain. I tried to draw the blueprint for a machine that would check if Fubu-clad law buildings are just my imagination, but I ended up with a somewhat realistic sketch of a puppy. The secret ingredient must be cough syrup. In the absence of my precious machine I have resorted to several character profiles of what law schools look like inside my mind, and I now present the results for your perusal.
* HARVARD EQUALS DR. DRE
Harvard is the original gangster of American education and this somehow means something. Messing with Harvard is like messing with a really old dude, which isn't a good analogy anymore because old people aren't respected as much as they were, say, forty years ago so if you were to mess with a really old dude today you could probably get away scotfree. Therefore, a better analogy is if you're headed west and you talk shit about Harvard you better get a vest and invest in some shit to protect your head and neck, even though Harvard is in the east. I estimate Harvard has about 480 guns and at least enough weed to get a baby stoned.
* NORTHWESTERN EQUALS JA RULE
Northwestern is a really bad university and I hope it goes bankrupt. This is basically and identically what I think about Ja Rule, except I don't actually think Ja Rule is a university. Northwestern has sold a few records and thinks it is pretty good, but in reality it is Ja Rule. Nobody who ever went to Northwestern did anything worth talking about. The average Northwestern student is represented by the dude who drank dog semen in Van Wilder: Party Liaison. The symbology behind the dog semen is striking, since Ja Rule drinks it too.
* CALIFORNIA STATE EQUALS MASTER P
The California State University system has over 400,000 students and many of them will one day be extremely bad lawyers. This tragedy directly correlates to the career of Master P, the richest and worst rapper alive. Master P has probably generated more bad rappers than California State has bad lawyers, but at least Master P makes money off his son. If I saw California State University on the street and it was dressed like Master P I would kick it in the head. The same goes for Master P dressed up like California State.
Keeping it real for my home-jurists. And remember to check out my daily life as a future lawyer at http://www.enragedbaboon.com/lawschool - please to be leaving many comments so my ego inflates to the size of a huge dog.
User Reviews
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-03-21 16:29:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
See, I am not in law school. Neither am I a follower of rap. Thusly, this was not as funny as I think it would be to a law student. That said, more of the RPG countries, please? That post was deeply amusing.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-03-21 13:54:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Coincidentally, my neighbor's name IS Dwayne. Dwayne's in the Air Force. He fixes airplanes.
You know . . . Dwayne tells me that he thought about going to law school for a while there. (Then he realized that he barely graduated from undergrad and would never get accepted. -Dwayne didn't tell me that part. I'm just sort of filling in the blanks for him.)
Everywhere I go, I meet people who "almost" went to law school.
What's that about?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-03-21 13:33:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by enraged_baboon (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:43:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
my name isnt really dwayne but i think its such a kickass name that i call myself dwayne on the internet
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:38:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
YUR NAME IS DWAYNE!!!
D-WAYNE!!!
WHAT UP DWAYNE?!
Submitted by enraged_baboon (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:12:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
princeton doesnt have a law faculty.
Submitted by ScottMaximus (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:08:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Princeton would be Nas
good but most people have no fucking clue who it is
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-03-21 10:57:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
har har.
and yeah i agree, 50 cent is Community college.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-03-21 10:53:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my God does law school suck.
You have my pity, but what the hell were you thinking?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-21 10:51:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-21 10:49:49 (#)
Ranking: 1
Community college = 50 Cent
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-21 10:49:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Community college = 50 Cent
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-21 10:48:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
interesting
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-21 10:48:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
UGA Law would be... a rapper that sucks ass but thinks he's really great.
Wow, I'm really on fire this morning, wicked burn.