How do I get my colleague fired ? (867 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.11 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by standardeviant<tooeasy2079.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-03-21 10:54:48 EST
I need some serious help. My colleague is a fucking dyslexic idiot with whom I though I was finally rid of until he showed up last week.
Background:
I started working at this job approximately a year ago. It was way better than the one I had before so I could not complain about the goings on being the newbie. But the place was horrid. No books had been catalogued for three years and everything was in turmoil. On top of that, we were due an inspection in just two months and the place was absolutely shit.
Well I busted my ass and cleaned, filed, catalogued, and classified day in and day out while my colleague sat on his forty year old fat ass. Well, inspection time came up and we passed with flying colors. And who got the credit? Right, hemorrhoid muthfucka!
Now, still being new I bit my tongue and dealt with it. Then something happened. Something waaayyy bigger than I would have expected. He got accused of messing around with a fourteen year old in the back of the library.
Picture this.... Black, 240 pounds, bald, uglier than ugly and 46 years old. He kind of reminds you of the dad from the Nutty Professor " the one that farts all the time". She is 14 and about as innocent a person as I have ever seen. And he gets busted by the girl's mom in the back with the lights off. The mom came in to get her daughter and her daughter walked out from the dark back room with him in tow.
I felt sorry for the mother and daughter, but at the same time thought I was finally free of Bubba Gump.... Until last week that is I get called into my bosses office to hear that there was insufficient evidence to prosecute on the American side and messing around with 14 year olds is legal in the German system and he will be returning to work.
I flew off the fucking handle and said I would find another job and would tell her superiors they can go fuck themselves. Unfortunately my boss is a wuss who is afraid of standing up to anyone. So I went to the higher ups.
They said I would have to deal with him for a little while until they gather enough evidence to fire him. And if there were any way to " Speed " the process *wink *wink it would help.
So I need some help please give me LEGAL ways to speed up the process.
Here is his office before I cleaned it.
User Reviews
Submitted by IBME69 (user info) at 2005-03-24 09:08:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your serious?You really can't think of a way to get rid of Him?
OK,LISTEN CLOSELY.
First you look at this straight on...46 year old child molester+14 year old girl+45mm hollow point=1 dead ass child molester and 1 girl who NEVER has to be raped again!
Grow some ball's or stfu man!!!
Submitted by Williams_2004 (user info) at 2005-03-24 08:42:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That is some old ass equipment in the picture. Oh and by the way, your probably not covered for moving all of that shit, so i dont suggest telling your bosses that you moved it.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-03-21 14:18:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Burn the building down to the ground and rape everyone inside!
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-03-21 13:41:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If your bosses are so out of touch that they gave this dude all the credit when he did none of the work, what makes you think they'll have enough sense to start treating you better when he's gone? Stop worrying about getting his ass sacked and find yourself a better job.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-21 13:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Have him whacked.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-03-21 13:23:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:06:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Photoshop a picture of him pissing into the drinking fountain.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-03-21 13:14:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
3 words
kiddie scheisse porn
Submitted by MJP (user info) at 2005-03-21 12:44:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This is Germany, right? Nazi symbols are 100% illegal in Germany, right?
Solution right there.
Although a black Nazi would be interesting to asplain...
+1 for sympathy; I had shitty co-workers until they got fired for being shitty.
Submitted by standardeviant (user info) at 2005-03-21 12:14:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-03-21 12:06:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:26:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
Scrolling is crud!
I don't have any suggestions for your lameass problem either.
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Invest in a monitor that supports higher resolutions than 800x600, prole.
What the fuck are you talking about? He walked out of a dark room with a 14 year old... "OH MAY GHOD HE SO RAEPD HAR!!!!"!!111 OMGWTF IME GOWING TO GET HIMZ FIERD!!!!!1!!1". You do realise it was probably the mother that made the accusation, and when she asked the kid what happened, she said "I asked him to get a book off a high shelf and the door closed behind him", so the mother said "It's ok, I know you don't want to talk about it" and made the complaint anyway.
"OH MY GOD THERE'S A MINOR AND A GROWN MAN IN A ROOM TOGETHER he must have raped her!!" Everyone below me who jumped on this without addressing any facts first can fuck a sock filled with razor blades.
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Go fuck yourself. There is NO reason for her to be back there. It is off limits to everyone but employees you fuck. And what if it was your kid? HUH? Fuck you.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-03-21 12:06:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:26:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
Scrolling is crud!
I don't have any suggestions for your lameass problem either.
----------------------
Invest in a monitor that supports higher resolutions than 800x600, prole.
What the fuck are you talking about? He walked out of a dark room with a 14 year old... "OH MAY GHOD HE SO RAEPD HAR!!!!"!!111 OMGWTF IME GOWING TO GET HIMZ FIERD!!!!!1!!1". You do realise it was probably the mother that made the accusation, and when she asked the kid what happened, she said "I asked him to get a book off a high shelf and the door closed behind him", so the mother said "It's ok, I know you don't want to talk about it" and made the complaint anyway.
"OH MY GOD THERE'S A MINOR AND A GROWN MAN IN A ROOM TOGETHER he must have raped her!!" Everyone below me who jumped on this without addressing any facts first can fuck a sock filled with razor blades.
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:49:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and this...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61962
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:43:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually you may need to read this
http://www.ubersite.com/m/62301
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:33:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
show them that picture. i hope you evidenced that you did all that work before inspection or left a paper trail or something. it always helps. show that shit to the bosses. film him at work being lazy. catalog his actions throughout a work week (time spent doing things, etc).
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:26:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Scrolling is crud!
I don't have any suggestions for your lameass problem either.
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:25:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Go to the mens room, cut your ass open with a knif, or for better effect, just rip it open with your hands, then go to your boss and say he raped you.
Show him your ass.
Problem solved.
-Hobbs.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Drop one of those big ass typewriters on the perv's head!
*****Note to self move to germany ASAP
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:12:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
when he's not around, set pictures of your boss all around his desk, along with some baby wipes, hand lotion and used condoms. have you boss check it out, immediately.
if your colleague gives you an bullshit excuses, just tell your boss "shit man, you should see his house! naked pics of you and your kids all over the place! i tell ya, they sure do make me uneasy, especially when im using the shitter and theres a nice big picture of your face near the piss ring!"
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:11:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Talk the 14 year old into filing rape/sexual assault charges against him. I'm not sure how the German system works but in the US this would definitely be sufficient.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:07:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Slip some acid into his coffee.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:06:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Photoshop a picture of him pissing into the drinking fountain.
Submitted by Auron (user info) at 2005-03-21 11:05:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Why don't you just follow him home one night and slit his throat with a shard of glass?
It would solve all your problems.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-21 10:59:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
figure out his passwords for your computer system and log him onto the most awful websites. order porn advertisements to the office under his name.