I'm a superficial bastard and I hate myself for it (1056 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.4 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by L.G. <el2tha.g.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-03-21 17:44:16 EST
When you broke up with your boyfriend of three years six months ago, I never thought we'd be where we are right now. You were heartbroken, and thought you'd never get over him. Your friends actually came to me and asked me to fuck you, because they thought that would help. I laughed it off, partly because the last time that happened I acted like an ass afterwards, resulting in us not talking for two years and almost completely screwing up a great friendship, but mostly because I'm a superficial asshole and you weren't what I was looking for physically. It happened though, after a long night of drinking and dancing. We stumbled into my bedroom, clothes were shed, and we had some damn good drunken sex.
We talked about it the next day. You had just come out of a relationship and weren't looking for another one. You already knew I wasn't the relationship type. You knew about the other girls that I kept around. We were to remain friends, with a few added benefits whenever it suited us. It was the perfect plan.
We started to spend insane amounts of time together, but it wasn't a problem. We got along with each other perfectly. I taught you all the tricks us guys use, so that you could be one step ahead of any guy trying to get at you. I was there every time you started to think about him again, and no matter how sad you were, I could always change your mood for the better. There was nothing you couldn't tell me, and I knew all of your embarrassing little secrets soon enough. You knew things about me that nobody else knew. You knew about my writing, and were the only person I let see it, besides all of ubersite. You knew about the goals I had in life, and my outlook on things. You even put up with my cocky attitude, and you knew I never meant any of the asshole comments I would make. When I would tell you to get your ass in the kitchen and get me a beer and a sandwich, you would hit me playfully before going to do it.
Pretty soon your friends started talking again, but this time it was them telling you that we were spending too much time together, practically dating, and that I would only hurt you in the end, as I did every other girl. We laughed at them together. You called me your best friend, and told me they just didn't get it.
Then it happened, and I wasn't surprised. You met some guy, hit it off, and went home with him one night. I knew it was only a matter of time before you found someone, but damn it still irked me. It was then I first realized I wanted you all to myself. I wanted you to myself, but I didn't want to be tied down. So what did I do? Nothing. I acted like it didn't bother me and gave you advice when you asked for it. The guy turned out to be a jerk, however, and we went back to our ways.
One night you called me drunk, and we had an interesting little conversation. You told me you wanted me to be your boyfriend. The red lights in my head went off and I went into defensive mode. I told you that you didn't want me. I talked so much shit about myself that night, trying to make me seem like a bad guy who would do nothing but hurt you. We never really finished the conversation though. My cell phone battery died, and when I called back you didn't answer. I was sure you had passed out. The next day you claimed to not remember our conversation, and when you asked what we talked about, I omitted those parts.
A few weeks went by, and a lot happened in that time. I got tired of the other girls I kept around, annoyed with them because, honestly, they weren't you. I dropped them, telling myself I had just gotten bored and would find some more. You became the only girl in my life and you didn't even know it. I found myself missing you when you weren't around. That's when you met him, and I started missing you a lot more than usual.
That brings us to today. I've seen you only a few times within the last two weeks. We went out last night, and you told me all about him. He's an honest nice guy, you told me. I told you I doubted it, mainly because I was jealous, but also because I don't believe they exist. He's been sending mixed feelings though, and nothing physical has actually happened. You told me he blew you off the night before and described some of his behavior, and I was happy. I was happy because I recognized his behavior. He won't be around much longer, and I know I'm going to have a chance to tell you how I feel. I probably won't say anything though, because as much as I love you right now, I'm still a superficial asshole and you still aren't what I want physically. I know it's wrong, I know it's completely fucked up of me to say that, but I can't help myself. I hate myself for it. I feel like a complete piece of shit. So what do I do? I write this, knowing you'll never see it, telling my story to a bunch of complete strangers, and hoping it makes me feel better about myself. It doesn't.
User Reviews
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-03-24 03:13:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh God, where do I start? I want to tell you off for being so superficial, but in the end I can't argue with you, as it is really important to be physically attracted to the person you're with. I went out with this guy for 4 years and I loved him because of his personality. Then we moved in together, and after a year and a half his true personality came out- whiny, selfish, dickhead. And as I was never physically attracted to him, he became the most disgustingly unattractive person to me. Since then I've realised that physical attraction is as important as an emoional connection (but both need to be there for the relationship to work). I don't know what to tell you to do about your friend, but if you do tell her, make sure you're risking your friendship for something worthwhile.
Submitted by jack0173 (user info) at 2005-03-24 02:46:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-22 15:07:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:49:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:49:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell her how you feel or regret it forever...dumbass.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-03-22 03:20:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I taught you all the tricks us guys use, so that you could be one step ahead of any guy trying to get at you."
Firstly, that is disgraceful. As a player, i find it just plain offensive.
Secondly, if you were REALLY superficial you wouldn't be scribblin this shit down. Get back on the game. If i went emo on every bitch i felt something for i wouldn't be getting as much meaningless, skanky ass as i am now, and loving it!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-03-21 22:18:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The easy thing to do is wait around and see if she opens up to you and tries to say she wants you again.
Go the easy route, alot less effort and then the ball is all in her court.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-03-21 21:50:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I mean no disrespect here at all. I was one of these girls. My male "friend" wanted a tall (at least 5'10") dark auburn haired, green eyed lady. That was his type. I on the other hand am a 5'5" blonde, hazel eyed lady. We were friends. Good friends, maybe even best friends. He finally decided that maybe he would like to become my significant other instead of gal pal.
Things went fine for awhile, actually they were great. His family told me they thanked God each and every day that he found a nice girl who didn't treat him like shit. That is until a 5'9.5" dark auburned haired lady crossed his path.
He dumped me because, after all, I wasn't his physical type and he just couldn't be 100% happy with me.
It hurt, you betcha! Also, the most regrettable thing about it was that since that line had been crossed, we couldn't go back to friendship. Too much hurt, too much B.S.
I bumped into his sister a few months back. She told me that they are still together but that he complains that he isn't attracted to her personality, only her body. And that he isn't happy.
Meh *shrugs*
What I'm trying to say is this.....if you know that you can't be completely contented with her, do her a favor and DON'T GO THERE!!!! This is for her benefit, not yours. If there is a chance that you would dump her when your physical type comes along, then you don't need to be with her. Period.
I agree with everyone else, talk to the girl.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-21 21:02:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The risks in life are what makes life worth living.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-03-21 20:09:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 only because you wrire exactly the way I write in my journals (i've kept them since 1989) knowing full well that most (but no all!) my girlfriends would be reading them, eventually.
That said, here's the BIG QUESTION: how would we write if we knew only we would be reading it, and no one else? Think about that.
(Anyone welcome to comment. I know i'd leave a lot out.)
Submitted by BrittInToledo (user info) at 2005-03-21 19:40:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 because you're honest
-2 because I'm afraid you won't tell her
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-03-21 19:28:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Selma: It's time to give away my love like so much cheap wine.
Homer: Take it to the hoop, Selma!
-- Homer Simpson
Principal Charming
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-21 19:04:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Here you go, dipshit...But send her the tune.
beat your heart out
Baby, you make my heart beat faster
Baby, you make my heart beat faster
I know...
let alone to rust alone, yeaah, you're making me
I had to run, the damage is done
I give it up, yeaah I give it up
Thee nothing left, so take the rest
You're draining me
I set it light, it burns so bright
Stab it out, yeaah, Stab it out
Baby you make my heart beat faster
Baby you make my heart beat faster
I know, I know, I know
I had to run, the damage is done
I give it up, yeaah, I give it up
I had to go, It got control
You're breaking me
There's nothing left, so take the rest
Stab it outm, yeaah, Stab it out
I set it light, It burns so bright
You're draining me
You make my heart beat faster
Baby you make my heart beat faster
I know, I know, that it's true
Let alone rust alone
Let alone rust alone
Let alone rust alone
Baby you make my heart beat faster
Baby you make my heart beat faster
Baby you make my heart beat faster
There's nothing so take the rest
There's nothing so take the rest
There's nothing so take the rest
There's nothing so take the rest
There's nothing so take the rest
Baby you make my heart beat faster
Baby you make my heart beat faster
Baby you make my heart beat faster
Baby you make my heart beat faster
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2005-03-21 18:46:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You will do what you want to do, which is what you are doing now. If you wanted her, you would make it known. You don't. It's not so complicated.
Don't take this the wrong way - but you will grow up more than you are now (I assume you are relatively young) and this will seem different then.
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-21 18:25:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah it SEEMS that simple, but you know me. There's too many 'what if's' floating around in my head. i need a drink
Submitted by Katastrofadark (user info) at 2005-03-21 18:25:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Or if you really want to be sweet. Print out JUST the letterish story and mail it to her. You could incorporate Shlongy's Idea here too because you could burn it onto a disk to send it with the letter.
Oh for chrissakes, just look at your email so we can talk about it there.
Submitted by Katastrofadark (user info) at 2005-03-21 18:20:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Email her something along the lines off....
I wanted to tell you something but I couldn't think of how to say it. Bla bla bla (something suitably sappy here)
And then enclose the link to this post http://www.ubersite.com/m/62388
Just like that Renzo.
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-21 18:18:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Katastrofadark (user info) at 2005-03-21 18:15:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
If it is who I think it is...she already knows that you are superficial. The Shlongy Idea works pretty good and to make it even better, maybe send her the link to this post. It's all written here, no need to explain anything really.
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ummmm....send the link? i don't know. fuck i can't even think straight right now.
Submitted by Katastrofadark (user info) at 2005-03-21 18:15:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If it is who I think it is...she already knows that you are superficial. The Shlongy Idea works pretty good and to make it even better, maybe send her the link to this post. It's all written here, no need to explain anything really.
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-21 18:12:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd say tell her, but you would probably just hound her to look like you want her to, so don't tell her until you find your way out of the shallow end.
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i would never try to change her
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-21 18:11:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:57:40 (#)
Ranking: 1
Treat her right or I'll fucking kill you, dipshit.
Here...I'll help.
Download "Beat Your Heart Out" by The Distillers...and email it to her.
You'll look so cool she'll think that she'd dating Shlongy.
Trust me on this one. Just listen to the words .
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i think i'm going the schlongy route.
seriously, though, if i tell her the truth and explain the superficial part, what do you think her response would be?
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-03-21 18:01:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A silicone boobied skinny annoying chick isn't going to look good in 40 years either, but she will still be annoying.
er.
I'd say tell her, but you would probably just hound her to look like you want her to, so don't tell her until you find your way out of the shallow end.
Submitted by PoloboiGC (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:59:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel where you at. I am also a superficial asshole.
Man if she isn't want you want physically then fuck.. shit bite the bullet.
Looks only last for so long.. and this is coming from a handsome guy..
looks aint shit.. but I'm still a superficial fuck... society made me this way...
Fuck you Cosmo magazine fuck you.. for not letting us love the ones we really love without second guesses and thoughts.. fuck cosmo and vogue..
but alas, tell her or else you will regret it.... bitch.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:57:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Treat her right or I'll fucking kill you, dipshit.
Here...I'll help.
Download "Beat Your Heart Out" by The Distillers...and email it to her.
You'll look so cool she'll think that she'd dating Shlongy.
Trust me on this one. Just listen to the words .
Submitted by Josephine (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:57:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:49:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell her how you feel or regret it forever...dumbass.
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But also tell her about your superficiality, and see where it goes. Life is short.
Submitted by Katastrofadark (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:53:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with everyone else too.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:51:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:49:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell her how you feel or regret it forever...dumbass.
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I can't think of a better way to put it.
Submitted by Katastrofadark (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:50:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*speechless*
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:49:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:49:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell her how you feel or regret it forever...dumbass.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:49:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for emotional cripples.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:49:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell her how you feel or regret it forever...dumbass.