I'm an ass sometimes (827 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: blog
Rating: 1.25 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2005-03-21 23:30:44 EST
Those of you who saw me in Vegas know that I can be an ass. I'll always speak my mind, even if it means that someone else ends up feeling like a jerk because of it.
When I'm DOING it, I think I'm somehow... helping... them. Then afterwards, I think, "God, I'm a dick... I should stop doing that."
I work for Good Deal (ahem) stores. I work in the music department.
This was my day today:
Me: (busy sorting cds and doing other IMPORTANT work)
Customer: (ignoring the dude that's walking around doing the whole sales thing) "Can you help me? Where is Eric Clapton? I can't find him. Do you have any of his cds?
Me: (blank stare) "Um... the 'C's are over here, dude..."
Does that make me feel superior? My knowledge of the alphabet makes me a better person, apparently. Of course, after I take the dude to the "c"s I feel like a dick, and try to make up for it by being nice, and helping him find the EXACT cd he wants.
I picked up a little phone ettiquite from the radio stations, too.
ring ring
"Thanks for calling Good Deal, this is Corinne, how can I help you?"
"Hiiiiiiiiiii... how are you?"
"Good thanks, what can I help with?" (See, that's the part I picked up... just cut out the niceities and get ON WITH IT!)
"Um... I need a game..."
"Which game?"
"Uhhh"
"Do you know the name of it?"
"Um... Resident Evil?"
"Yeah, of course, yes, we have that."
"How much is it?"
(pause)
"dude, it's probably like 40 bucks. Maybe 50."
"oh, okay thanks."
WHY DO I DO THAT? Why can't I just be freakin' nice? I have no idea. For some reason my overpaid position at Good Deal has made me believe that I'm better than people who play videogames.
My nametag (stupid god damn nametag) still says "Media Supervisor". I was a supervisor at my last store, but I moved (am moving, actually), so I'm no longer a supervisor, I'm just a peon at the new store.
"So you're the supervisor?"
"No."
"Oh?" (confused look)
"Did you need something?"
(more confused looks) "No... um... uh. No."
Wow, I'm so much better than THAT GUY!
Then of course the hitting on.
Me: "Need help?"
Guy: "Oooh you can help me out with your phone number!"
Me: (eye roll) "Dude, this is Good Deals not Bettys Whore House... do you need help finding a CD?"
Guy: "Um, no thanks."
Me: "Alright, if you do need something, get Mike over there to help".
Wow, shot him right down, didn't I? I rule.
Then the last thing that happened today:
I was on the phone with a customer. They wanted me to look up some obscure movie on the computer. While I'm doing that, two people pile up to my left, and I tell them I'll be with them in a second. Then some shit ass kid comes up to my right and asks, "Do you have American Idol for X-box???"
I nicely (believe it or not) tell the poor kid that I'm BUSY, and I'll find the game as soon as I'm done. Two seconds later his mom comes up with the same question.
"Yeah, I have it... gimmie just oooooone second to finish up with the people I'm already helping, then I'll find it for you, okay?" (enter: Bright Smile)
They huff and puff for a second, then mom says, "Listen, if you don't want to help me, I'll spend my money somewhere else!".
I stare at her.
She stares at me.
Then I say, "Ok, have a great night!"
Then they left.
Paula, Simon and Randy all say, "American Idol sucks anyway! Your son is going to turn ghey from our show!"
Gay ass kid. Wait till his friends find out.
User Reviews
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-03-22 20:56:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
They said the same thing about Urkle; that little snot. Boy I'd like
to smack that kid.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart Gets Famous
This is only a +1 because you didn't kill anyone.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-03-22 15:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've hung out with you on several occasions, and I still have yet to see this bitch you're writing about.
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-03-22 11:13:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-22 08:18:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?
-- Homer Simpson
Homer the Great
0---------------------------------o-------------------------------------)
this is my favorite simpons line EVAR. munkeypants rox.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-22 10:59:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It's all good. We can all be asses sometimes.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-03-22 10:59:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd like to spend an evening flicking dustbunnies at you in a vaguely sexual way.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-03-22 10:49:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
?
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-03-22 10:13:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a similar problem. I rarely remember to think before I speak.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-22 08:18:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?
-- Homer Simpson
Homer the Great
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-22 07:10:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Indeed I do, Corrine, though I'm barely legible in it. My MSN name is the same as my Uber name.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-03-22 07:04:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
next time poop on the hood of the mom's car. that'll show her
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-22 03:33:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-03-22 03:31:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
American Idol sucks ass.
You are good at your job. Keep it up. HAR HAR HAR :)
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-03-22 02:16:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Homer: I don't want you to see me sitting on my worthless butt.
Bart: We've seen it, Dad.
Homer at the Bat
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-03-22 01:44:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Marge: I know we didn't ask for this, Homer, but doesn't the Bible
say, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you
do unto me...?"
Homer: Yes, but doesn't the Bible also say, "Thou shalt not take
moochers into thy hut?"
The Otto Show
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-22 01:34:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-03-21 23:42:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
Submitted by boneface (user info) at 2005-03-22 01:15:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Good Deals" huh? Is your competitor Pam Woody?
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-03-22 01:12:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think you were rude.
But, if I were hitting on you, I'd first use a better line than that. If I did choose to use such a line, and you countered with that, I'd continue to talk shit to you and impress you with my sparkling personality.
Or.....I'd call you a bitch and continue to try to find my gay cd that no one else would ever listen too.
Thanks for playing.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-22 00:52:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ceasar- do you have IM?
And "pal"? I need to change my screen name back to La Nuggeta. I'll do it soon.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-03-22 00:42:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
See i would just unzip and pee on your counter hehehehehe.
No i wouldnt thats just nasty id find out were you parked your car and let all your tyres down.
No hang on thats just nasty too.
Submitted by absolutzero (user info) at 2005-03-22 00:27:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Kool Post,
Equally indifferent to self.
Good going Pal. Keep the butt kickin activity on.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-22 00:22:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I work in a music-type store too. I don't think the things you said were insulting...it depends on the tone in which you said it.
I've found that you can get away with saying some pretty insulting and ridiculous shit as long as you say it in the right way. Example:
Customer: "These How the Grinch Stole Christmas videos are only 3.99?"
Me: "Yup."
C: (suspiciously) "Why?"
Me: "Because they're made of poison."
No one ever got mad at me for saying that, because the way I said it wasn't insulting...and this was over Christmas, when everyone is pissed off 24/7.
What's that statistic...70% of our communication is non-verbal? Something like that.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-03-22 00:19:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
As far as anyone knows we're a nice, normal family.
-- Homer Simpson
There's No Disgrace Like Home
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-22 00:14:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So if we don't all vote the same way, we'll be deadlocked and have to
be sequestered in the Springfield Palace Hotel ...
-- Homer Simpson
The Boy Who Knew Too Much
(Bitch... ass... it's all the same)
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2005-03-22 00:10:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No that makes you a bitch.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-03-22 00:09:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us
from the animals. Except the weasel.
-- Homer Simpson
Boy-Scoutz n the Hood
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-21 23:56:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If the Bible has taught us nothing else -- and it hasn't -- it's that
girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and
foxy boxing and such and such.
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa on Ice
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-21 23:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Marge, let's end this feudin' and a-fussin' and get down to some lovin'.
-- Homer Simpson
Colonel Homer
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-03-21 23:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.