God Always Compensates (751 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: tards
Rating: 1.5 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2005-03-22 17:48:52 EST
The Scene: A lovely Holiday Inn Hotel in Houston, currently hosting Special Olympics Competitors
Eddy jumps into an elevator with a laugh the moment the doors open.
"I want to go to the hotel lobby, so I geth I want to push the 'L'," Eddy says, as the doors close.
"Hi!"
"You thcared me," Eddy replies. "I didn't thee you there. I'm Eddy."
"I'm Katie. I stay one floor higher than you. I'm on the thirty-second floor."
"Going down!" Eddy says, smiling to the girl in the pretty white sun dress.
"Do you have Down Syndrome?"
"Yeth. Do you?"
"Uh-huh," Katie replies.
"Are you in the gamth too?"
Katie nods. "Yep!"
"I like thith hotel," Eddy says. "Thith ith my firtht time away from home."
"This is my third trip," Katie says. "Have you ever had your ding-dong sucked?"
"Huh?"
Katie giggles. "Did you ever let a girl lick your balls?"
Eddy is stunned. "That ith crathy! You are funny!"
Katie pushes the 'Emergency Stop' button and the elevator stops with a jolt. A bell starts ringing.
"What are you doing, Katie?"
"Pull down your pants."
"That bell ith loud! We could get in trouble!"
"They'll just think we made a mistake. Pull down your pants, Eddy."
Eddy starts laughing again. "You are thilly!"
Katie gets down on her knees and starts undoing Eddy's belt.
"This will be fun!" She pops the snap on his jeans and pulls down his zipper.
"You'll like this," Katie says, yanking down Eddy's jeans and underwear and fondling his genitals.
"Ha-ha! That ticklth!"
"Eddy! You have a real big one!"
"Uh-huh! My daddy always thays if dickth were brainth I'd be Albert Fucking Einthtein. Do you know who Albert Fucking Einthtein ith?"
"Nope," Katie says, working on Eddy's joint and making him hard.
"Me either," Eddy says. "I geth he wath thmart or thomthing."
Katie frowns. "Shut up and let me suck on this, Eddy."
"Okay, Katie."
Eddy loses his load within a minute and slumps against the wall of the elevator car, settling on his butt.
"That wath fun!" Eddy is flushed, and smiling. "I with I could do that to you but I don't think girlth have wienerth. Can I buy you a ithe cream? I like licking ithe cream."
"I got a better idea," Katie says, standing over Eddy while hiking up her dress and pulling down her panties. "I'll tell you what to do," she says, straddling Eddy's face.
A few minutes later the elevator doors open onto the lobby and Katie and Eddy head outside.
"That wath fun," Eddy whispers.
"Uh-huh," Katie whispers back. "And we can do it any time we want!"
Two clerks at the reception desk watch them cross the lobby.
"Damn," says the first clerk, "What's with these mongoloids always hitting that sonofabitching stop button? I thought I was gonna have to call maintenance again."
"I have no earthly idea," says the second clerk, "But those retards must know something we don't know, because they're always smiling."
User Reviews
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-08-03 12:19:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Supreme Overlord damage control...
Submitted by Supreme_Overlord (user info) at 2005-07-21 22:29:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shite
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-23 14:57:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post makes me feel dirty. Fortunately, I like feeling dirty.
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-03-23 14:48:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this peice,
but I like the way you and jimmy bicker more!
you two are such a cute couple!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-03-23 13:44:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:37:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jimmy's angry because I always swear I'm gonna use lube, and then I just spit in my hand.
He falls for it every time, calling me a liar and asking what happened to his reach-around as I walk out the door laughing and drinking his last beer.
----
HHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAA
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-03-23 08:37:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That Jimmy guy is... stupid.
And you my friend, are not.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-23 08:17:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:51:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
*taps fingers, waits for dyslexic Jimmy to leaf through his thesaurus in a frantic search for synonyms for 'fat.'*
--------------------------------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by boneface (user info) at 2005-03-23 08:06:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
nice
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-23 06:40:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the word "mongoloid".
You can insult 2 demographics at once!
Submitted by the_mysterious_stranger (user info) at 2005-03-23 06:23:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah!
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2005-03-23 05:59:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by MJP (user info) at 2005-03-22 23:30:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If Terri Schiavo could do this, her husband wouldn't want to pull her plug. He'd rent her out.
Meh.
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2005-03-22 20:16:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh... wow.
Submitted by Geodescent (user info) at 2005-03-22 19:30:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When will the security tape be online? :-P
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-03-22 19:22:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Are only male downers sterile?
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-03-22 19:02:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh shit.
Wonderful.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-22 19:00:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
owned
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:51:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*taps fingers, waits for dyslexic Jimmy to leaf through his thesaurus in a frantic search for synonyms for 'fat.'*
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:49:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He thinks it's okay for me to FUCK him in the ass, but spitting in his ass is somehow wrong, and now he is very, very bitter. How can you not laugh?
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:42:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Now this guy's having homo fantasiies about me.
Get your shit together chubs, you're a wreck.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:37:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jimmy's angry because I always swear I'm gonna use lube, and then I just spit in my hand.
He falls for it every time, calling me a liar and asking what happened to his reach-around as I walk out the door laughing and drinking his last beer.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:35:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice one.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:09:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hows life as an immobile working out for you?
--
"...an immobile..."???
What the fuck, man. Time to sign up for another round of ESL classes.
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:33:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
God Always Compensates
-------------
Keep telling yourself that fat fuck.
By your logic he owes you big
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:29:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Obiese immobiles such as him can move there arms and fingers, genius
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:28:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jimmy, Grandturismo, Mitchapalooza, whatever.
Post something worth reading once in a while or just fuck the fuck off already.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:20:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:09:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hows life as an immobile working out for you?
____
Too bad you're not an immobile, Jimmy, because then you WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO FUCKIN TYPE!
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:19:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Duke_Diggler (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:18:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:15:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know how to feel about this post.
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:15:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:11:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Rhettorical question of course.
I don't care how your life is I just wanted to point out that your are an immobile.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:10:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
More common than you think...
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:09:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hows life as an immobile working out for you?
Submitted by sharwei (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:01:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking great....makes me wish I was retarded....
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2005-03-22 17:59:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
:)