Patron of Priestly Pedophilia? (992 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <veritatislocutor.at.netscape.net> (View user info) at 2003-04-09 14:49:12 EDT
Maybe it's this guy?
User Reviews
Submitted by Istaros <archon_templar.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-04-10 02:53:18 EDT (#)
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I would have to go with Anglican. The abstract designs that surround the central picture aren't very reminiscent at all of Roman Catholicism.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-04-10 00:34:08 EDT (#)
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It looks Anglican, but I don't know where it is from, my guesstimation is that it's British.
I saw it on www.rotten.com a while ago and stole it from there.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-04-10 00:25:09 EDT (#)
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I think it does look Catholic. The priest on the left is carrying a bishop's shepherd staff, and it looks like a confession/absolution is occuring. (As the Holy Spirit descends.) These could also be Anglican, but it also very traditional Catholic-looking.
Submitted by Partholon (user info) at 2003-04-10 00:18:01 EDT (#)
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Hairsphicter:
Do you know anything about this pic (like where it came from?) It doesn't look like a Catholic window style, so I was thinking it might be in an Anglican church (UK, Australia). I couldn't track it down.
Again, sorry for the repost.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-04-09 22:49:49 EDT (#)
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Parth - we think alike.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1046924489482131187
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-04-09 20:39:55 EDT (#)
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my favourite bible quote "if salt becomes unsalty, what then can make it salty again?"
mmmmm, salty........
Submitted by oddzandendz (user info) at 2003-04-09 20:37:27 EDT (#)
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That is the most submissive looking boy. He needs to get his shoulders into it.
Submitted by sinwithin (user info) at 2003-04-09 20:25:33 EDT (#)
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Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:18
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2003-04-09 17:48:20 EDT (#)
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Oh Im not saying it wasn't good. Just long.
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2003-04-09 17:16:57 EDT (#)
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no, it wasn't. It is merely a sample of my creative work here at uber - work which in this case is topical
Submitted by Partholon (user info) at 2003-04-09 17:07:25 EDT (#)
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Sorry, I didn't see it here before. Had I known, I'd not have reposted.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2003-04-09 17:04:16 EDT (#)
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Jesus Christ, Yid, think that was long enough?
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2003-04-09 16:46:06 EDT (#)
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CANTO I
When spring with warm showers thawed his breast
O'grady turned to vices of old
For a catholic priest an altar boy to best
is like returning lost sheep to his fold
I see him now, his gnarled crook in hand,
his sunday surplice wrapped round his loins
Roman's all'a quiver, over he's bent,
ready, be-lipped with pleasureful moans
"wages of sin are death, our Lord says"
so quoth the aged pedophile
"take what I give you for a sacrament,
my rod & staff 'll comfort your piles"
"I shall annoint you with oils rare
and press your flesh so willing
I promise you to reach those depths
that you have found so thrilling!"
The chtonic depths of all that's Rom
I can with my staff twich,
while you may beg me with fevered lips
your soulful gems t'round-reach
So goes the ancient fairy-tale,
at least the children's version
which was on purpose modified
to not instill perversion
The real story is much stronger,
darker & full of ire
in sooth, Rom's ass was quite posessed
& spitting brimstone fire
Of ass posessed our poor boy was,
his anus all aflame,
those who'd have tried him all agreed
the deamon meant to maim
Then came one day that all must reckon,
when powers of darkness failed,
O'grady mastered Rom't ring of fire &
anal demons quailed
From that day on, O'grady's known for the relief he brings
tiltles may come and titles go, he's still lord of Rom's rings
CANTOII
To Roman
There was once a boychik named Roman
whose nights were filled with desire
by day he wrestled with sin
by night his butt was on fire
His loved one ( whom all know here)
was of quite elderly clergy
though seemeing dry & brittle,
his loins were full of e-nergy
When serving mass, for an instance,
O'grady often seemed nervous
If truth were now to be told,
by Rom he was orally serviced!
His voice often did quaver
when chanting the daily "Te Deum"
how not? for under his habit
his staff spewed forth its rheum
But all of those frowsty love games
were as nought to compare
with what went on in his chambers
when Roman on t'table laid bare
What Adelard with Heloise performed,
those daring & perverted deeds,
were as daisy picking compared
to what Rom did just to please
Old O'grady in haven was taken,
oft by orgasmic need
Rom bucked, swore, gulped, swallowed
the endless gallons of seed
Fore, aft, mouht & astride
are the most basic positions
Roman all of them knew
he rode his steed to perdition
All of this frivolous love-play
was by his superioirs ignored
The church has an age-old tradition
A happy priest isn't bored
O'grady's parish collections
were full , sermons fair
His paritioners were simple people
they mistook his moans for prayer
Life can be a pleasant moment
when all of your need are met
Roman's or'fices were filled,
By love juice he stayed well fed
but human nature, alas,
must seek ever newer diversions
Roman was here no different
( I mean to cast no aspersions)
He left O'grady one day
when quarreling with him over wine
O'grady could be quite nasty
when passions siezed him divine
"Chinga tu pichie madre!"
- Roman yelled out in passion
"you only love my body -
But I am a boychick old fashioned!"
"you can forget about booty -
Tu pinchie gringo culero!
- I'm leaving here, me
?donde es mi pinchie sombrero?"
So lovers were parted in anger
it happens even with clergy
Roman sought newer diversion
O'grady grew older & nervy *
CANTO III
Years passed, Rom grew older
he finally stopped singing soprano
the crazy juices of puberty
were just like Roman vino
O'grady settled in earnest
to teach a new crop of molesters
but always he thought of his Boychik
especially when muttering vespers
then came one day when O'grady
cruising the web for some booty
Roman's name read once in passing
( the website was www.tootyfrooty.com)
At once hot flood of affection
and scalding tears of remorse
caused him to drop his frater
(he was a-stroking, of course)
Her cried half the night in his cell
prayed t'other half for salvation
Rom's booty had again cast its spell
O'grady had found motivation
Straigth away, in the next day's morrow
he cast his email on the currents
the tide brought it to my door
and bid me deliver its contents:
Dear Roman, when write you on Uber
take kind regard of your Lover
who pines away in his cloister
your booty's in his thoughts, moreover
O'grady would have you to dinner,
O'grady would have you eat sausage
O'grady would have you bend over
O'grady would drive home the message
Tho' years & miles divide you
O'grady still wants your booty
It doesn't matter at all
that you're stupid, ignorant & snooty
SONNET I - To my fair one
Darling Roman insincere! -
though you hide it to be sure,
Flagrant, flaming, faggish, queer
this I see in your eyes pure
Come now, Roman, come now lover
to the 'O' zone we will travel
tell me what it is you crave
your desires we'll unravel!
Life's to short for niggling riddles,
love's to precious to be shed
come now, give me what I live for
bring your booty to my bed
Come now, Roman, come now lover
to the 'O' zone we will travel
tell me what it is you crave
your desires we'll unravel!
I will promise to be gentle
your sweet bum is far too dear
tho' my pastoral's rather knobby
t'will bring pleasure - don't you fear
Come now, Roman, come now lover
to the 'O' zone we will travel
tell me what it is you crave
your desires we'll unravel!
When at last our lust is sated,
when I've probed what needed drilling
you will reach that seventh heaven
( you might find it rather filling)
Come now, Roman, come now lover
to the 'O' zone we will travel
tell me what it is you crave
your desires we'll unravel!
SONNET II To my departed one
What calls you now away from your lover
to run the hills manflesh a-searching?
When passioned-hot bodies a-quiver
throbbing, hard-probing & ever thirsting?
Your nature calls you - she is your master
tho' you deny it to be quite sure,
hunger for man-juice may makes you wander
your passion, Roman, She is unpure.
PASSION THEOLOGIAE
to continue is my pleasure
always ready am to serve
this retarded, brickwall'd cripple
never lacks sufficient nerve
'magination is your fairy
dex-ter-ity is my chum
scrollbars are for v-pooned morons
used for working with their bums
tho' you try yer feeble mind
with argumentation's mettle
only children & quadrupeds
are by quandries yourn a-fettled
God's existance or religion
isn't measured with *your* mind
tho' you'd find it hard to swallow,
arguments you will not find
logic is a man made tool,
man's mind is a feeble thing
if we can't our life encompas,
is universal knowledge our thing?
when your mom gave birth to you,
could you THEN *that* understand?
we are but milenia old,
how can we God comprehand?
If religion you revile,
that's your choice & no mistake
but can choice so arbitrary
universal truth o'er take?
Is God's word a work of fiction?
Is it but an allegory?
Is it middling history
written by the aged, hoary?
Is it meant as truth absolut,
is it for interpretation?
is it meant for just my people?
is it meant for all the nations?
If these questions are still questions
( and the Torah is quite old)
than how can you be so certain
as regards your claims so bold?
How can ign'rance be the key
to 5000 years tradition?
how can stupid, simple ponces
know what rules the One's volition?
There's no simple answer here,
tho' the simpleminded hope -
Ask a Levite, ask the Pope
or a Sadhu on much dope
all you'll hear's preverication
all you'll witnes is delay
all you'll notice is confusion
Though so certain seem they may
There's no answer to your quandry
that's on physical e'vdence based
when it comes to metaphysics
mankind walks about shitfaced
our nature, our mind
isn't made to understand
the empyran or infinite,
can you gabe's horn comprehend?
http://www.rhurrell.com/gabriel.html
FRASZKA NA SHADOW PHOENIX
ShadowPenis, shallow wisdom,
self absorbed in faith believes,
were you ask him of electrons
could he show them, will he please?
Our world's built on asumptions,
our technology's built on faith
Though you use your com'pter daily,
quanta are but mental wraiths
"man created God" you claim,
have you any proof o' that?
no more than a body saying:
"ShadowPenis's an asshat"
There's no proof of God's existance
that assuming won't require
Our knowledge's on asumptions
based, and so's logic entire
you've no proof of own existance
all you see could be a dream
Time & matter's all relative
and of God you'd opinions deem?
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2003-04-09 15:56:49 EDT (#)
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This has already been posted here, but gosh-lee it's still FOON NAY!
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-04-09 15:10:59 EDT (#)
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Bart: So, like sometimes you can do stuff that you think is pretty bad
so other kids will like you better?
Homer: You're not talking about killing anyone, are you?
The Telltale Head
Submitted by precious_roy (user info) at 2003-04-09 15:08:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, so that's what's been wrong with the little fella. He misses
casual sex.
-- Homer Simpson
Two Dozen and One Greyhounds