in line at starbucks (818 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: -0.69 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <ILTOWI.at.GMAIL.COM> (View user info) at 2005-03-23 08:30:11 EST
I know that sometimes you put 2% milk in my fat-free sugar-free vanilla Caffe Latte. You think I can't tell the difference but I can. I don't know why you want to ruin my diet, but I'm on to you. I've seen you do it, I think. You act like you're reaching for the skim milk container then at the last second you use the 2%.
Do you do it to just me or to everyone? Are you trying to screw with my body, or my head? Do you put in flavor shots with real sugar? I doubt it because you know I'd notice for sure. But I can't be sure. I'm watching you. I'll think of a way to even the score.
And why is your hair so perfectly gelled in that spike every morning. Is that part of the dress code? Did someone tell you that was the look you needed in order to work here? And why do you smile at me like that? Is it because of the milk, or do you know something I don't. Is there some kind of inside joke between you and the other Barista's that I'm not in on? Is it about me? I'll find out if it is. I know people. I'll figure it out then I'll turn the joke on you. I can tell you've been talking about me when I walk through the door. Everyone gets quiet and looks toward the door when I walk in, but no one will make eye contact with me. Are they ashamed? Are they in on the joke?
You play it off so cool. When you take my order you get moving right away so you won't have to look at me. When you've made my drink you move right on to the next customer. I'm so sure you care that much about working hard. Nice try. I don't buy it.
What if I stop coming in? Then your little game would be over. Who would you laugh at then behind that counter? I won't though. I won't let you win. You can't stop me from getting my morning coffee. I'll come in every day and look everyone in the eye. I'll hold my head high no matter what you think. Eventually the joke won't be funny anymore. You'll be forced to respect me.
And when I walk in everyone will know that I'm the one who took all that you could give. I'm the one who stood up to it all. Because I took a stand, everyone who asks for fat-free milk and sugar-free shots will get them.
User Reviews
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-04-30 00:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Heather (user info) at 2005-03-23 10:28:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
Starbucks is in essence what is wrong with America. A chain coffee shop for the love of God. Go to a locally owned coffee shop. Support the mom and pop coffee shop.
What if the mom and pop coffee shop sucks ass?
PS I live in a shitty-ass town which does not have mom and pop OR big corporate coffee shops, so you can all go fuck yourselves.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-03-23 18:00:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Meh
Gimme a triple shot of super-duper charged expresso any day....
unsweetened and black as hell
and boycott Starbucks while you're at it; evil empire that they are.
Buy a machine and make your own.
It is no longer considered "in" to sit in Starbucks, look pretentious with your laptop and Wall Street Journal, and sip some 15 word coffee blend.
If you really want good coffee, go to a truck stop. If you time it just right, you can get it after it has sat for enough hours that it has grown legs.
Now THAT'S coffee.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-23 13:21:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lay off the caffeine, it's making you paranoid.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-03-23 13:19:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
...you're bound to overhear an intense conversation about "Donnie Darko" coming from the fuckwits standing behind you.
Submitted by Sarcasticus (user info) at 2005-03-23 13:07:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Speaking as a former coffee monkey, up yours you prententious shit. With your fat-free sugar-free vanilla Caffe Latte. Guess what! It's coffee with milk. You can get a coffee with milk for $1.50, and it tastes the same.
Does it taste better because there's some foam at the top? Oh wait, you probably can't taste that through the travel lid. With your box-frame glasses and nose in the air, you think two ounces of 2% milk will make a difference to your diet? Why not try exercising and not ordering a muffin you hipster doofus.
Submitted by swing39 (user info) at 2005-03-23 11:22:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
anyone who puts milk in their coffee can go to hell as far as i'm concerned...
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-03-23 10:51:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Good, stand in line.
drink the coffee
get addicted
you NEED the Starbucks
yes you do
(yes I do have Starbucks stock why do you ask?)
Submitted by Heather (user info) at 2005-03-23 10:28:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Starbucks is in essence what is wrong with America. A chain coffee shop for the love of God. Go to a locally owned coffee shop. Support the mom and pop coffee shop. I was going to +2 everyone today because it is my birthday, thanks for funcking that up.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-23 10:19:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
a pair of graphs
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-03-23 10:19:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Let us trim our hair in accordance with socialist lifestyles
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-23 10:07:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i liked this.
sort the the spacing out in future though.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-03-23 09:01:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by boneface (user info) at 2005-03-23 08:46:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
don't
drink
star
bucks
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-23 08:36:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I see you're drinking 2%. Is that because you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.