After The Pandemic - Shlongy's Treats Hit The Market (1325 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.31 on 72 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by I'm Shlongy, Dammit (View user info) at 2005-03-23 19:22:06 EST
You've probably noticed - unless you've had your head shoved firmly up your ass - that Shlongy hasn't been around as much lately.
For one thing, there's a few shit posters whose constant need for attention is actually making it unpleasant to even visit this dump these days. (Gee, I wonder who I'm talking about?)
Secondly, I've been busy...back to work, as I mentioned previously. You remember. Sure you do!
Anyway, I have not been, as I inferred in an earlier post, back working in the elctronic media.
Instead, I started dabbling in a hobby of mine...and one of my inventions has gone straight from the Shlongy kitchen right to your supermarket shelves.
...As long as you live in Germany, because that's where we're breaking the product first.
Modeled after my penis, only bigger, these "Mini-Dickmann's" are sure to be "all the rage" with kids, ages 2-5, and with broads, ages slim to slutty.
So, grab a Shlongy "Mini-Dickmann" and pop it in your mouth. Rub your tongue up and down it as it slides down your throat. And check out that creamy filling as it oozes around your tonsils.
Mmmmmmm...mmmmmmm...good, eh?
I think I'm gonna be rich!
User Reviews
Submitted by Danzxc (user info) at 2005-07-28 23:55:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You still suck dick -2 bitch
Submitted by notyou (user info) at 2005-07-12 18:48:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-06-27 22:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pleasure to be your enemy.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-13 12:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks man. you made me laugh here http://www.ubersite.com/m/66233#1323545
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-05-12 17:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 DIE
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:57:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-04-16 17:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-04-14 22:00:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-14 18:00:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shlongy treats = black dicks
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-12 18:13:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BigCore (user info) at 2005-04-04 08:32:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These'll be all the rage with the ladies.
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2005-04-04 08:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:20:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll kill you, fucker. Stay out of my posts.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-03-28 09:40:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-25 10:10:46 (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't mommy give you enough attention, you blabbering idiot?
Don't make me run an IP check and come kick your ass, FourChins.
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Oh there's a threat.... I am scared of a 125 pound senior citizen, keebler elf tracking me down... and bea...HAHAHHA....., beat...HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA...beatin....HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAH!!
I can't even say it, it's just too fucking funny.
Let me know when I'm supposed to be scared, and shut your fucking mouth and stop threating strangers, loser. You were the kid who got beat up in school a lot weren't you ?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:06:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
We have to work on moving the chocolate and vanilla flavors, or , as we call them around the office, the "caucasian" and the "negro" flavors, before we move on to the "Now, Mini-Dickmann's come with AIDS!" campaign.
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2005-03-25 12:42:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do they come with AIDs or other STDs?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-25 12:32:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Come on...that HAS to be a rhetorical question.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-03-25 11:55:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
But why are the white ones slightly smaller than their darker-toned brothers?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-25 10:10:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't mommy give you enough attention, you blabbering idiot?
Don't make me run an IP check and come kick your ass, FourChins.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-03-25 09:57:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:23:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
It would be funnier if you were dead
-----------
Truer words have never been spoken. Please die, you retarded old elf.
"Black hole of funny" ... another true statement..... hang up your 6 shooter fuckface, you peaked, again.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-24 20:54:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Smeggy, that felt GREAT!
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-24 20:53:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hi Smeggy! You suck! -2 Die!
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-24 20:53:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's because you never used to suck this bad, ya crybaby. You went from zero talent to a black hole of talent, where talent goes to be destroyed and turned into pud shaped treats like what yoiu see on this stupid page.
What did you do before Uber? I mean back when you had a life and a real personality? Don't you miss the sex? People liking you? Sunshine?
You are Uber's version of Smeeagle.
Smeeeeeeeeeeeagle. SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAGLE! But I bet that's copyrighted; PLUS, he's a waaaaay better entertainer than you are.
Sounds a bit like "smegma", so the name is perfect for you! Smegma boy!
SMEGGGGGGGGGGIES!
I'm gonna try out your new name right now!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-24 18:51:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What a weakass effort this was.
I miss the days when some of the UberSite retards would camp on my shit all day.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-03-24 14:58:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:51:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
But look how many of them you can have!
You can then say, proudly, that you ahd like, EIGHT Mini-Dickmann's in your mouth at once!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:42:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mini DICK?? WHO on EARTH wants a MINI DICK?
NOT ME!! ;)
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:16:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh look, a retard convention! maybe all of you should come back to this post and get some well needed culture.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/62619
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:10:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:08:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
pen name- Be prepared to be leaving a lot of shots hanging out to the right while you adjust to the new, stiffer flex.
The shaft obviously won't have as much whip to it- so the club face will have a tendancy to be lagging as you approach impact, leaving a slightly open club face...which will result in "the rights".
You better have pretty high swing speed to swing stiff shafts.
I have a stiffy only on my driver- an 8.5 Nike Ignite.....the rest of the bag is reg flex.
That Shlagphum or whatever the fuck his gayass name is is on my nerves. I HATE zitheads like him.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:06:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i figure i'll transfer this to your post, it's too important to risk letting it slip away.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-03-24 09:54:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
hey shlongy, while you're here...i just got a new set of stiff flex clubs. i decided to switch from regular because my swing speed has picked up and i've been booming my 7. my question...will there an be adjustment period while i get used to the new whip, or will it just come normally.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-24 09:48:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Who is?
That's why they'll soon be eating my semen.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2005-03-24 09:33:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Not a big fan of the Germans...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-24 09:25:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
A -2 AND this asshole reveals a secret recipe.
Swell, dipshit.
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-03-24 09:07:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh. The secret sauce is 1000 island dressing. I should know since I make them all day long
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-24 09:05:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey...a Chef never gives away his secrets.
Did Ronald McDonald ever divulge what exactly was in the Big Mac "Secret Sause"?
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-03-24 09:05:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I think it will be hilarious, breathtaking even, to watch as I burn your factory to the ground.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-24 08:24:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are they filled with white goo?
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-24 08:21:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This post. although mildly amusing is starting to give me the shits! Why don't you post something that doesn't make everyone want to gouge their eyes with a fork!
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-24 08:00:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just in time for Easter.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-24 07:03:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No shit.
This hilarity deserves much better.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-24 07:01:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-03-24 03:26:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm curious and so I would like to address the dim witted dullards who found this post entertaining
Do you often sit and stare for hours at your screen saver? Are you captivated by the dance of your clothes in laundromat dryer? Do you name dust motes and fantasise about their fantastic adventures as the amble across the air filling your house?
How could anyone find this meaningless drivel comprehensible let alone humorous? This isn't even a joke, its a picture about a candy that looks kind of like a penis and this asshole added the caption "I have a small penis" or some shit above it. If you find this kind of stuff funny I suggest you look into some of the other activities I listed above, either that or google for the word penis. If you think these little candies are funny you'll be laughing for hours at the results of that.
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How do I get involved with the retarded credo that you subscribe to?
May I suggest you go and throw yourself under a bus and save us all the 6 degrees of seperation assosciation that we may unwittingly have to you.
Smoking a whole heap of pole will warp your mind like this. All I can suggest is that you eliminate yourself immediately. Somebody call a waahmbulance and get this fucktard into pre-op as soon as possible.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-03-24 04:25:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-03-24 03:26:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm curious and so I would like to address the dim witted dullards who found this post entertaining
Do you often sit and stare for hours at your screen saver? Are you captivated by the dance of your clothes in laundromat dryer? Do you name dust motes and fantasise about their fantastic adventures as the amble across the air filling your house?
How could anyone find this meaningless drivel comprehensible let alone humorous? This isn't even a joke, its a picture about a candy that looks kind of like a penis and this asshole added the caption "I have a small penis" or some shit above it. If you find this kind of stuff funny I suggest you look into some of the other activities I listed above, either that or google for the word penis. If you think these little candies are funny you'll be laughing for hours at the results of that.
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Oh my god... thanks for the advice man... he he he... I saw some willies on google... that shit cracks me up!!!1!11!one!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-24 03:56:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-03-24 03:26:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm curious and so I would like to address the dim witted dullards who found this post entertaining
Do you often sit and stare for hours at your screen saver? Are you captivated by the dance of your clothes in laundromat dryer? Do you name dust motes and fantasise about their fantastic adventures as the amble across the air filling your house?
How could anyone find this meaningless drivel comprehensible let alone humorous? This isn't even a joke, its a picture about a candy that looks kind of like a penis and this asshole added the caption "I have a small penis" or some shit above it. If you find this kind of stuff funny I suggest you look into some of the other activities I listed above, either that or google for the word penis. If you think these little candies are funny you'll be laughing for hours at the results of that.
Submitted by lush (user info) at 2005-03-24 02:16:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:22:44 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm getting more hilarious with each passing day.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-24 01:56:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-24 01:22:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're a big fucking baby - here, suck on this -2.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-03-23 22:41:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh my gawd hehehehe.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-23 21:44:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't believe I just got -2-ed by a Monkee.
The GAY Monkee.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2005-03-23 21:42:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
shit.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-23 21:20:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
mostly you suck.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-23 21:02:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I choked on a Mini-Dickmann.
Buahahahaauiauahaiahahahahahahaooooowwwwwweeeeee
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2005-03-23 20:51:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This place is empty
Must be nation wide gay-bar happy hour.
Submitted by gabrielpm (user info) at 2005-03-23 20:39:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Howie_Felter (user info) at 2005-03-23 20:30:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
and you think that MY posts suck!
Submitted by Jimmy (user info) at 2005-03-23 20:15:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah I got something for you to joke on manic
~canned laughter~
ZING
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-03-23 20:05:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Um.....what the hell. +1 for ya babe, now choke on it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-23 20:02:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Geezus...make up your mind on my ratings...You guys are all over the joint.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-23 20:00:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:43:03 (#)
Ranking: 1
I just called Shlongy's wife and she says, "My big baby-boo is at the doctor's, trying to get a persciption[sic} for some a them li'l blue pills what are supposed to stop him from melting in my mouth."
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Have you been fraternizing with faggots Shlongy?
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:58:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't find Tobasco Cheez-its anymore. I'm sad.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:55:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:50:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, and Jack, if you speak with Mrs. Shlongy again tonight, tell her to swing by the grocery store and grab me a box of "Cheez-Its", because we're all out.
Thanks.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:49:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I guess the "After The Pandemic" trademark phrase isn't the "hit magnet" that I thought it would be.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:43:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, I haven't noticed you being gone at all. Maybe it's because I don't spend much time here anyway.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:43:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I just called Shlongy's wife and she says, "My big baby-boo is at the doctor's, trying to get a persciption[sic} for some a them li'l blue pills what are supposed to stop him from melting in my mouth."
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:34:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now this is pretty funny!
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:33:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh
Submitted by boneface (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:30:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
mmmmmm, gooey
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:27:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Everyone loves mini-dicks.
Right?
Right?
Awwwwwww fuck...
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:27:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck it, i laughed
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:23:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It would be funnier if you were dead
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-23 19:22:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm getting more hilarious with each passing day.