Stupidity of the english language can still amaze me or how to make an easy $20 (836 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.57 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mr. UnOriginal (View user info) at 2005-03-24 01:00:19 EST
I never saw it coming. I went to school this morning expecting another boring day of tests and teachers giving me dirty looks for sleeping in class and still getting A's. I decided that I would just wander the halls today rather than sleep, since for once I wasn't tired. This was my biggest mistake.
I came across one of my less intelligent peers. By less intelligent I'm referring to the common jock that only seems to pass class during football season. Anyway, this idiot had been reading some of my papers so that he could find some way to copy them for himself, which hadn't worked in seventh grade, so I'm puzzled as to why he thinks it will work as a Senior. Upon his marvelous inspection of my papers, he decided that I had a horrible vocabulary. If it hadn't been so hilarious I'm afraid I would have taken great offense to his accusation. The idiot proceeded to inform me that all my papers used a word that doesn't even exist. What is this magical word that I supposedly pulled out of my ass? It was "you're".
After the insuing laughter he started to get rather pissed at me. I briefly explained to him that he was the biggest idiot I'd ever had the displeasure of meeting. After a little tuffle where he continued to tell me it wasn't a word, he did the most amazing of things. He bet me $20 that he could prove it wasn't a word. Obviously, I was in the right, so of course I took the fools bet.
He confidently strolled down the hall to the library. Our librarian, who is also our college english teacher, hates this kids guts. We walked into the room and her immediate response was "What the hell are you doing in my library? Get out." We explained our little bet, and since she despises him and I'm the top of her class, she was more than willing to help me out. The look on his face when he was shot down was an expression that I can only describe as when a child finds his cat after its been hit by a lawnmower. It gave me a sick joy that I only wish I could relive everyday, especially if it made me $20 every time.
And now for your amusement... http://andrius.esu.lt/10/go2.htm
User Reviews
Submitted by algermetiphist (user info) at 2005-03-24 18:49:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I like my shithole high school. It takes no effort to get anywhere, I'm sure you're right that it won't help me later on, but oh well. I go to a school with the biggest class being less than 20 kids; our entire high school has less than a hundred kids in it. We suck as a school, but we rule at basketball, even though basketball sucks, wrestling is better.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:40:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not saying that you're going to get your ass fed to you in college because of your astounding knowledge of the English language. I'm saying that you're going to get your ass fed to you in college because obviously your secondary education has not prepared you for the rigors of a college schedule by reinforcing good study habits.
In short, sleeping in class and still getting A's might work in high school, but it will not work in college unless by "college" you mean "community college" and frankly it won't even work then. I've seen it before, we on the other side of the lectern call people like you "C students" when we shake our heads sadly and comment to each other about how the dumbing down of the US educational system aka social promotion has left an entire generation completely unprepared for post-secondary school life.
Don't believe me? Here is what Bill Gates has to say about it: http://www.gatesfoundation.org/Education/
But take heart, ah what is that line from Caddyshack, "Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too."
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:28:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=tripe
Submitted by ardubs (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:27:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Riiiight.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:18:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OK, my psychic friends and I stand corrected.
Submitted by algermetiphist (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:02:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-24 09:30:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Prediction courtesy of Jeanneee's Psychic Friends:
This Saturday, that jock and his friends are going to beat the tar out of you, and then they are going to take the $20 back.
Enjoy the rest of your week.
------
Somehow I doubt that. I'm the captain of our football team. I've never argued brains and spelling were my strong point, but this guy just amazed me with his stupidity. I've also gotten A's in all of the college courses I've taken, just so you know. Also, does anyone actually care whether it's a word? I just thought it was funny. I like being able to find amusement in the small things of life.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-24 09:30:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Prediction courtesy of Jeanneee's Psychic Friends:
This Saturday, that jock and his friends are going to beat the tar out of you, and then they are going to take the $20 back.
Enjoy the rest of your week.
Submitted by IBME69 (user info) at 2005-03-24 09:01:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What Loki said only with an added Fuck You ya pinhead geekboy...If that's the most enjoyment you want out of life,keep going to your old maid dried up pussy librarian and maybe someday she'll suck you off and you'll realise how lame you really are.
GET LAID ALREADY U WASTE OF SPACE!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-03-24 08:57:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Technically, you're not supposed to use contractions in expository writing, it is considered informal speech.
ps. you're going to get your ass fed to you when you hit college
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2005-03-24 08:56:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
insuing.....you mean "ensuing", right? For fuck's sake, if you're going to write a post about this, at least get your own shit right first.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-24 08:44:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is the most pointless thing I've ever read.
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-03-24 08:38:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The librarian's got your back. All day, all long.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-24 04:51:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's a fucking word. You fucking retards.
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=word
But is it proper English?
You are so stupid.....
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-24 04:28:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
of course it is a word.
is ain't a word?
yes.
contractions are words.
Submitted by RkaDk2 (user info) at 2005-03-24 03:44:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
D'oh! English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England. Come on,
let's smoke.
-- Homer Simpson, talking Barney into cutting class
The Way We Was
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-03-24 03:18:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
kai dictionary.com lists things that arent real words. It lists them with qualifiers, things like, to quote from that exact link "Contraction of you are".
If you notice there are no definitions listed for you're simply the fact that it is a contraction. Point set match sword
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-03-24 02:28:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Admittedly I rushed it, but I wanted to make sure nobody else took this concept http://ubersite.com/m/62597
Submitted by lush (user info) at 2005-03-24 02:24:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-24 01:46:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=you%27re
it is a word
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-24 01:46:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=you%27re
it is a word
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-24 01:35:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-03-24 01:27:35 (#)
Ranking: -2
You are an arrogant jerk and a liar to boot "You're" isn't a word jackass its a contraction of You and Are. If you had actually looked in a fucking dictionary you would have found that out. You owe the "Jock" 20 bucks.
Oh yeah and you idiotically misspelled "ensuing". You suck cock
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-03-24 01:27:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You are an arrogant jerk and a liar to boot "You're" isn't a word jackass its a contraction of You and Are. If you had actually looked in a fucking dictionary you would have found that out. You owe the "Jock" 20 bucks.
Oh yeah and you idiotically misspelled "ensuing". You suck cock
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-24 01:26:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I pwned cookielass over "you're" too. It's barely a word.
The link reminds me of dream7.com or hell.com
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-03-24 01:08:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i hate stupid jocks
bag my groceries bitch
Submitted by boneface (user info) at 2005-03-24 01:06:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ha, I made the rabbit jack off