Quitting for Dummies: a "How-to guide" for stopping smoking. (1678 hits)
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Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (View user info) at 2005-03-24 10:51:42 EST
I started smoking when I was 15. It was in 1975 and almost everyone in my high school smoked. In fact, I only knew one guy who smoked pot but didn't smoke cigarettes...and that wasn't me. Anyway, for the next 15 years I was a 2 pack-a-day "Marlboro Red in a box" addict. This is the story about how I quit in those ancient pre-nicotine patch days.
First, a little background information. My dad smoked 4 packs of Parliaments a day and my step-mom smoked 2 packs of True menthols a day. They both smoked in the house and in the car. Even though they encouraged all 5 of us kids not to smoke the message wasn't very powerful when we saw them smoking all the time. Once I started they pretty much gave up on encouraging me to quit...they both knew how hard it was and they also knew that they had no moral high ground from which to preach.
A year or so after I started smoking my dad had a major heart attack and required open heart surgery. My grandfather, his father, had been a heavy smoker and had died from a heart attack at age 54. Both of my dad's brothers ended up having open-heart surgery prior to the age of 55. In fact, all of my father's side of the family is genetically predisposed to heart disease. Cigarettes ended up killing my dad in 2003: http://www.ubersite.com/m/15787
By the time I was in my 20's I figured I'd never quit. The first thing I did in the morning was roll out of bed and light a cigarette. The last thing I did at night was to smoke a cigarette. I couldn't imagine the taste of my morning coffee without having a cigarette. I couldn't imagine eating a meal or having a drink or smoking a joint without following those flavors with the flavor of a cigarette. I smoked when I was nervous, I smoked after sex, and I even smoked when I was sick with the flu. I was really hooked. Fortunately, I met someone who changed things for me.
I got married in 1986 to a beautiful Spanish girl who had never smoked. When she saw how my family members were dropping like flies due to tobacco use, she started encouraging me to quit. I told her I would try, and God knows I really did. I tried to quit 6 times from 1987 to 1990. I tried nicotine gum, but ended up chewing it and smoking at the same time...not good. I tried cold turkey but I was in the Air Force and everyone I knew smoked at work. I realized that to quit I would need to do something drastic. So, I finally came up with a plan that I thought would increase my chances of success.
My wife and I were living in California at the time and we loved to go camping to remote places in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. We had camped at a great place the year before called Fresno Dome. The campground at Fresno Dome is primitive, with outhouses but no running water. Also, it is 45 minutes by car up an extremely winding, dangerous dirt road from the nearest store. My plan was to take a week of vacation in the summer of 1990 and go to Fresno Dome and quit smoking.
When the day arrived, I packed my old Ford Ranger with a weeks worth of food and bottled water. I also packed 2 bottles of whiskey and 2 cases of beer. I drove up to Fresno Dome on a Sunday afternoon and smoked the last 4 cigarettes I had in my pack. I spread them out over the afternoon so as to not run out of cigarettes until the following morning.
I woke up Monday morning and put my plan into effect. It went like this...every time I wanted a cigarette I would take a shot of whiskey or drink a beer. The way I figured it I would be too drunk to drive back down the mountain if the craving for a cigarette got to strong. It wasn't that I was afraid to drive drunk, I'd done that lots of times, it was that I knew I would probably die if I tried to drive that extremely dangerous road while drunk. It was a real test...was I willing to die for a cigarette?
Since I obviously wrote this post you've probably guessed the outcome. I made it through the week without a cigarette. I drank all of the whiskey by Wednesday and finished the beer by Saturday night. I got up Sunday morning and assessed my situation prior to driving back home. I looked and felt like hell. I had bathed in the creek that ran through the campsite twice during the week but since the water was snowmelt I hadn't stayed in it long enough to do more than a perfunctory cleaning. I had burn holes in all of my clothes from passing out too close to my campfire at night. But, the most important thing is that I was no longer a smoker. I had managed to quit!
It's been almost 15 years since that week at Fresno Dome and I never smoked again.
Some day I'll write the post about how I managed to quit drinking!
User Reviews
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-10-06 17:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Clockwork Orange prize!
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-23 02:56:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-23 02:25:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:57:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd give this 10 +2's if I could without making a spectacle.
I smoke a pack a day - only after sex.
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god damn it, what movie was that from.
-2 for you fucking up the punchline.
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"Do you smoke Mr Adder?"
"Only after making love - so back in England I'm a 20 a day man."
Black Adder - one of the WW1 ones with the nurse.
Although I'm sure that's not the only time it's been done.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-23 02:25:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:57:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd give this 10 +2's if I could without making a spectacle.
I smoke a pack a day - only after sex.
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god damn it, what movie was that from.
-2 for you fucking up the punchline.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-23 02:24:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was hardly the point.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2005-06-23 02:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
For driving while drunk.
Submitted by Harmless (user info) at 2005-06-23 01:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rock on, you rule.
If you quit drinking by using cigarettes, you are elevated to legendary.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-04-30 01:24:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can see your "How i quit drinking" post right now:
"Well, i went to this campsite with 6 ounces of heroin..."
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-04-30 00:57:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for writing this. I've never smoked, but I like to see people succeed when they want to quit.
Submitted by JML (user info) at 2005-04-30 00:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i never thought i would post a link...but if you read the stuff on this website quitting becomes a reality.
http://whyquit.com/
i just wish more people knew about it
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-04-30 00:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What? You can't be suprised I showed up here, even though I got 12yrs on you.
I was going to run NCIC (one of the perks of my Golden Handshake) on you, but
I figured the return on Jumpinjellyfish would be nil or probably questioned by
someone higher up the food chain and paygrade, as to....WTF?, so I didn't.
Why is it that all WM's (and others) started with Marlboros? Like you... I did.
But it was like smoking "hot dust" to me.
Then I went from from Pall Mall(Red), in Southeast Asia to Camel(Reg), ever since.
I will have been "dry" for 2 years on May 28, 2005, and I hope smoking is next.
I am glad you beat it.
Submitted by Supercords (user info) at 2005-03-25 15:39:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:20:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 For Succeeding. I'm now on day 9 of my probably 10th time seriouisly trying to quit. hope it lasts this time.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-25 12:47:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It is now tomorrow.
I shall quit monday.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-24 16:40:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats. hope you can stick with it. i've smoked two cigarettes in my life. both times i tried to smoke, i was incredibly drunk. i ended up puking later on (both times) in the night. i won't have to worry about picking up the habit anytime soon.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-24 15:01:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Heather (user info) at 2005-03-24 15:00:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to quit smoking today. I have smoked for 12 years. I don't know if I can quit, but I am going to try.
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Good luck.
Submitted by Heather (user info) at 2005-03-24 15:00:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to quit smoking today. I have smoked for 12 years. I don't know if I can quit, but I am going to try.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-24 14:56:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-03-24 14:38:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Good work man, I havent had a smoke for a year and a half and I started when I was like 12 and smoked for the next 9 1/2 years. Quiting smoking is the best thing ever. Hey still smoke the CHeeba???
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No, I had to give that up also when the Air Force got their urinalysis perfected...oh well, we all have to grow up sometime. At least I waited until I was 30!
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2005-03-24 14:43:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
grats.
My friends dad quit smoking by carrying a full pack of cigarettes and matches in his breast pocket and faced his addiction head on.
He wanted to mentally be able to control himself.
Personally I took note of this, I had tried quitting and failed many times then decided the problem was not stopping. After 4 days the withdrawals are pretty much over. The problem is that everyone I know smoke and being around them after quitting, always resulted in starting again. Plus while working, smoking was like validation of a break. So I decided that I would face it head on.
I would go outside with my friends while they were smoking, stand there and bulshit with them, chewing on a carrot.
Gave me an oral and manual outlet for the fixation, and the vitamins helped too.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-03-24 14:38:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good work man, I havent had a smoke for a year and a half and I started when I was like 12 and smoked for the next 9 1/2 years. Quiting smoking is the best thing ever. Hey still smoke the CHeeba???
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-03-24 14:35:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I quit in June of 2001.
I think it is the hardest thing I have ever done.
Kudos to you for quitting!
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-03-24 13:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Evidently you guys are weak. Quitting smoking is easy. I did it three times last week alone!
I quit for three years when I was 21 and never went a day without craving one. I caved and need to quit again!
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2005-03-24 13:12:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whatever it takes.
Circe, that is fucking insane.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-03-24 12:54:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA good one. I got Sam to quit smoking by teaching him how to play racquetball. Hey it was better than nagging.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-24 12:52:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-24 12:47:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-24 12:43:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
I had one cigarette since I quit in November of last year.
I've been stressed out a lot lately and bought a pack this morning, but I didn't open it. I was just about to go outside and light up when I scrolled down and saw this post.
Needless to say, I won't be opening that pack.
Thank you.
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Just imagine the "Troll" from your post had that pack of cigs in his back pocket all day while he was sweating up on the roof!
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AAAAAAAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
I shall never smoke again!
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-24 12:47:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-24 12:43:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
I had one cigarette since I quit in November of last year.
I've been stressed out a lot lately and bought a pack this morning, but I didn't open it. I was just about to go outside and light up when I scrolled down and saw this post.
Needless to say, I won't be opening that pack.
Thank you.
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Just imagine the "Troll" from your post had that pack of cigs in his back pocket all day while he was sweating up on the roof!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-24 12:43:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had one cigarette since I quit in November of last year.
I've been stressed out a lot lately and bought a pack this morning, but I didn't open it. I was just about to go outside and light up when I scrolled down and saw this post.
Needless to say, I won't be opening that pack.
Thank you.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-24 12:43:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I shall quit tomorrow.
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-03-24 12:31:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's been about 3 months since I quit, best of luck to all of you.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-03-24 12:22:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Continually updating this post with largely meaningless statistical information and whining helps me not smoke: http://www.ubersite.com/m/56276
And on that bombshell:
Days as a nonsmoker: 83
Cigarettes not smoked: 1660
Money saved: £415
Submitted by standardeviant (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:56:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
" My wife asked me", "Why don't you just quit smoking?" I asked, "Why don't you just quit bitching?" "Harder than you think, huh?"
Blue collar comedy tour
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:53:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:46:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Today is my 5th day without a smoke. I don't know how many times I've tried this.
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I think the key is to NOT tell yourself "I will never smoke again". It makes it too hard to deal with mentally. I used to tell myself "I won't smoke for 1 month, then I'll reassess the situation. If I want to smoke at that time, I will".
It worked for me.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:46:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Today is my 5th day without a smoke. I don't know how many times I've tried this.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:34:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:27:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:25:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd have driven to the store. Fuck it, I would have walked if I had to... and crawled if I couldn't walk. I'm going to have a cigarette right now. I have a scar on my throat from where they stuck a tube in me when my lungs collapsed (not smoking related), I was in a 3 week coma with no cigarettes, I have this cough that never goes away completely and gets really bad when I have a cold, and I still can't fucking stop.
When you're holding a hand over the open wound on your throat to stop the smoke from coming out of it, you're not only ashamed, you're disgusted with yourself. And yet, I kept smoking. I still smoke. I want to fucking stop but God, I'm weak.
When I was comatose, my mother asked the doctor if I was going to have to quit smoking. He said "She will never be able to smoke a cigarette again. Not after this." I feel like one of those people that are told they'll never walk again but prove everyone wrong... only not as brave or inspiring.
Well done with the quitting.
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Damn, you are hard-core...remind me never to annoy you!
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:25:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adjomak (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:16:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
know how difficult it is to quit. Congrats. But why the quitting of drinking?
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If you drink, you know how it lowers your inhibitions...hence I had to quit drinking about 3 months after I quit smoking because when I was drunk I feared I would start smoking again.
I initially did this as a temporary measure but stuck with the non-drinking because of how much better I felt physically. It was weird at first, not waking up with a hangover, but I kind of liked it!
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:25:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd have driven to the store. Fuck it, I would have walked if I had to... and crawled if I couldn't walk. I'm going to have a cigarette right now. I have a scar on my throat from where they stuck a tube in me when my lungs collapsed (not smoking related), I was in a 3 week coma with no cigarettes, I have this cough that never goes away completely and gets really bad when I have a cold, and I still can't fucking stop.
When you're holding a hand over the open wound on your throat to stop the smoke from coming out of it, you're not only ashamed, you're disgusted with yourself. And yet, I kept smoking. I still smoke. I want to fucking stop but God, I'm weak.
When I was comatose, my mother asked the doctor if I was going to have to quit smoking. He said "She will never be able to smoke a cigarette again. Not after this." I feel like one of those people that are told they'll never walk again but prove everyone wrong... only not as brave or inspiring.
Well done with the quitting.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:19:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that's my kind of rehab.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:18:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Abusing alcohol is a good way to deal with any number of problems.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:16:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Adjomak (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
know how difficult it is to quit. Congrats. But why the quitting of drinking?
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:12:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:11:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Josephine (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:09:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kudos.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:09:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my pop smokes marlborows. i've never tried to get him to quit, because the mere mention of it pisses him off
amazing since he is the most happy-go-lucky person in the universe.
anyway, congrats.
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:08:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I gave up by chain smoking a box of 200 until I puked. Couldnt face another cigarette after that. Still use tobacco in joints though but it realy isnt the same thing.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:00:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The top right pic is beautiful. I wish I was there right now.
About quitting, my wife and I agreed to only smoke after sex. Now I havent smoked in a month and she's up to a pack a day!
I get no respect I tell ya. - Rodney
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:57:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd give this 10 +2's if I could without making a spectacle.
I smoke a pack a day - only after sex.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2005-03-24 10:54:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.