Hunting is Stupid (778 hits)
Category: SportsRating: -0.69 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Umbilical_Cord (View user info) at 2005-03-25 01:10:20 EST
The idea of sport hunding is ridiculous.
Hunting is not a sport. It's pathetic. A sport should push you to the limits of your physical abilities, to the point of complete exhaustion. Hunting is sitting there quietly until something comes along, then pulling a trigger. That amounts to a bit of walking, some camping, and the energy it takes to contract your finger.
Hunting does not make you a man. Aside from frostbite and the miniscule chances of being hit by lighting, mauled by a bear, or somehow shooting yourself, there is very little risk to yourself. Any remotely likely hunting injury can only be caused by stupidity. In spite of their many similarities, a large rifle can in no way compensate for a small penis. The only virtue of character required is the ability to be quiet and patient.
Therefore, I propose a new set of laws to govern hunting, and bring back respect to this once noble sport.
1) All game is open to hunt all seasons.
2) Technology must be paleolithic or earlier. This means no guns, no GPS, not even bows and arrows. Basically, you're limited to spears, rocks, and clubs. A large club, possibly with sharp sticks imbedded in it, does indeed compensate for a small penis. And none of those fancy modern polymers like "gortex" or "cotton". You wear what you kill.
3) If you're injured, you get yourself to hospital. If you take on the challange of being a hunter, you are essensially lowering yourself to the level of the animals. Why should you be able to call time out and get an ambulance when things don't go your way? This way, if you don't make it, (if you live in Canada) the taxpayers don't have to shoulder the expence of you being stupid enough to charge a moose with a club.
With these rules in place, hunting would again be something to be pround of, instead of being the sport of lonely, deranged psychos, and fathers who are trying to keep their sons from turning out gay.
User Reviews
Submitted by 2x4fun (user info) at 2005-03-25 21:21:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-03-25 02:37:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe more intelligent than you domenad. Then again you are a Bush supporter, so I would imagine most species of modern ape would be smarter than you.
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hat's off to professorfuckface
Submitted by urbaneruralite (user info) at 2005-03-25 21:10:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Isn't the biathlon an Olympic event? Hunting is often very similar.
I went turkey hunting two days ago. Including slogging about a half mile of swamp, and twice wading a waist deep river, I walked about eight miles. Had I been successful it could easily have required, as it has in the past, a quarter-mile sprint to get in position ahead of the turkey in its line of travel to get a shot. Then I would have had to use mouth operated calling devices while holding the gun steady and trying to catch my breath.
I am also reminded of a video I watched of some guys hunting Marco Polo sheep in Tazjikistan. You have to be in pretty good shape to climb a mountain to 15000 feet and make a 500 yard shot.
Hunting can be an Olympic caliber sport.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-03-25 21:05:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
drink a bottle of robotussion
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-03-25 20:21:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If it's so easy to go out and kill something and to use a gun why do people practice and train with them fucko? It's not easy, and the kick of the gun can hurt like a bitch. You have no idea what you're talking about, so just shut your suck-hole.
I personally wnjoy hunting Grizzlies with a spoon.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-03-25 20:06:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess a longer response would be good here.
I'm not anti-hunting in any way, but I still think it's fucking retarded. But let's get one thing out there before I move on, and that is I'm not against hunting bnecause it kills da itty bitty aminals (I'm going to munch into a cheeseburger and then complain that someone killed a poor l'il deer, fuck off) I'm against hunting because it is absolutely fucking retarded. Yes, yes, I know, everyone has their own interests, but seriously, how is spending thousands of dollars on equipment to get up at a godawful hour in the morning to go and sit in the woods and wait for something that might not happen be considered exciting? You're going to give me that "thrill of the hunt" bullshit. Eh. Whatever.
It actually wouldn't bother me so much if it weren't so fucking popular. I know kids who come into school and all they do ALL DAY is look at hunting and paintball magazines saying "Oh yeah I'd like that." I turn on ESPN Saturday mornings and there's bullshit about hunting on.
But I still think my distaste for hunting comes from the fact that here, in Central Pennsylvania, the first day of hunting season is held in higher regard than Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I say this because for area schools, students are given the first day of Deer Hunting season off. Now, this day has to be made up, but instead of adding it onto the summer... they just have the kids come in on Martin Luther King Jr. Day.
Anytime something is deemed more important than one of the most important civil rights leaders of modern history, I grow to detest it a little inside.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-03-25 19:41:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-03-25 14:17:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i guess this comment should have been applied here.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/62714#1227043
you don't specify, but hunting for grub is totally justified. like jean says in her post, lot's of hypocrits bash hunting while still eating meat and wearing leather.
also, the only way to do it is with a gun. getting cute with it is when it gets on my nerves.
Submitted by algermetiphist (user info) at 2005-03-25 10:48:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I wish I had more guns... and a big knife...
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-25 10:42:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I grew up in the south, and hunting is a way of life here. I personally don't enjoy it all that much because I lack the patience for it, but that doesn't mean it's stupid.
The only people who are allowed to have a problem with hunting are vegans. Period. If you use animal products in any way, shape, or form, and you are anti-hunting, then you are a hypocrite and you need to shut the hell up.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-03-25 10:33:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shhhhhh.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-25 10:29:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Josephine (user info) at 2005-03-25 10:07:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"The idea of sport hunding is ridiculous."
You lost me there.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-03-25 09:47:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't understand your ire. Just because you don't engage in a particular activity doesn't mean that no one should.
-1 because I never use it
Submitted by Over_There (user info) at 2005-03-25 09:12:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-25 08:08:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Any moron can fire off an semi-automatic weapon and kill something less intelligent.
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Can you? Have you ever?
I used to have no respect for the shooting sports until I purchased a gun. I quickly learned that shooting well isn't as simple as just pointing and pulling the trigger. It is difficult to master, and takes skill to do well. Given, deer hunting may not be all that difficult if you're sitting in a tree stand all day with a rifle and a high power scope, but have you ever considered bird hunting? It takes a lot of skill to be surprised by the bird, pull up your shotgun, identify the bird, and hit it as it flies.
There are also other reasons to hunt, and not necessarily sporting ones.
1.)You get to harvest your own meat, not something you buy at the store that's been raised in a cage and injected with growth hormones.
2.)You get to enjoy nature and the great outdoors. Sometimes there are few things more satisfying than a day spent in the woods.
3.)Bond with family and friends.
I think its important that people realize not all hunters are trigger happy rednecks. Just take a minute to understand that there are some people who appreciate and hold sacred things that you do not care for. No amount of insult or harrassment is going to make us change the things we love.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-03-25 08:25:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-25 08:12:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, hunting is a method of controlling invasive herds of animals, a legitimate foodsource for our rural needy, and a means of relaxation for many people.
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Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-03-25 08:18:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope for the sake of Hypocrisy, you're not Vegan.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-25 08:12:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, hunting is a method of controlling invasive herds of animals, a legitimate foodsource for our rural needy, and a means of relaxation for many people.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-25 08:08:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Any moron can fire off an semi-automatic weapon and kill something less intelligent.
Although, the fucking deer heard needs thining, since we killed all its predators.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-25 07:21:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
sport ( P ) Pronunciation Key (spôrt, sprt)
n.
1. Physical activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively. A particular form of this activity.
2. An activity involving physical exertion and skill that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often undertaken competitively.
3. An active pastime; recreation.
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For the purposes of this post, you managed to misrepresent what the proper definition of "sport" is.
I shall refer you to read #3, out loud.
Yes. People enjoy killing their own meat. People enjoy the fraternity of the hunt.
Have you ever partaken on this pastime? Have you ever stalked a deer from a quarter mile, careful not to make yourself obvious to his keener senses?
Have you ever taken your fresh kill and cleaned out the entrails, smearing blood on your face as you did so?
Have you even fired a gun before?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-03-25 07:18:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
great post
Submitted by Shagabah_Jones (user info) at 2005-03-25 06:12:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-03-25 03:52:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PLUS TWO FOR MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY
Submitted by Umbilical_Cord (user info) at 2005-03-25 03:29:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-03-25 02:22:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
Ancient man was 10X the hunter we are today. They were more intelligent than you.
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Thats my point you fool. In prehistoric times, hunting was a way of life that required skill, strategy and intelligence. Now, its reserved for trigger happy rednecks, and requires little skill.
I'm sure they were more intelligent than most of us. Intelligence was still being selected for then.
Submitted by Eclectic (user info) at 2005-03-25 03:06:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile.
Watch the typos though.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-25 02:55:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
made me smile
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-03-25 02:37:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe more intelligent than you domenad. Then again you are a Bush supporter, so I would imagine most species of modern ape would be smarter than you.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-03-25 02:22:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ancient man was 10X the hunter we are today. They were more intelligent than you.
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-03-25 02:05:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hunter: "Because the one solid "color", will....... be noticed by the deer"
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-03-25 02:00:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Me- What's the clothes?
Hunter- Camo.
Me- What for?
Hunter- So the deer don't see me.
Me- So why do you have this blaze orange?
Hunter- So I don't get shot by anothe hunter.
Me- Donm't the deer see it?
Hunter- No, the deer's eyes are different from ours that they cannot see orange.
Me- So why don't you wear all blaze orange?
Hunter- ...
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-03-25 01:51:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-03-25 01:21:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
While you're right, hunting isn't a "sport", it is a relaxing activity to me, what with the camping, the quiet and all. It's a welcome break from being on this aircraft carrier, anyway.
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All the relaxtion of regular camping, but with the added bonus of intermittently and effortlessly killing a furry animal.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-03-25 01:51:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
...I think you may be onto something.
Submitted by Umbilical_Cord (user info) at 2005-03-25 01:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-03-25 01:26:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
No, actually you're stupid. Try living on the hunt for a while, you'd never make it putz! It's not a fucking SURVIVOR episode.
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Okay. Tell me. What is the challanging part? Once you've learned to aim a gun, what is so hard about surviving on the hunt? How do you get to the point where, for reasons other than boredom, you con't go on?
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-03-25 01:32:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-03-25 01:26:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No, actually you're stupid. Try living on the hunt for a while, you'd never make it putz! It's not a fucking SURVIVOR episode.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-03-25 01:21:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
While you're right, hunting isn't a "sport", it is a relaxing activity to me, what with the camping, the quiet and all. It's a welcome break from being on this aircraft carrier, anyway.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-25 01:18:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hunting for sport is absurd.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-25 01:13:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Wait up, this wasn't that bad I suppose
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-25 01:13:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nah