10 Reasons Why Jerks Should Pay (1263 hits)
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Rating: 1.27 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Habeeb "Go Away" Thomas (View user info) at 2005-03-25 13:07:03 EST
Jerks these days are taking over. They're on the streets, in the shopping malls, at the movies, and in space too. I say it's time that we bog down on these jerks and take back whats ours. Along the way, if we somehow can scientifically persuade animals like gorrillas and buffalo to help us, our mission will be all the easier. Here are some reasons why jerks should pay:
1. Jerks like John Shoop and God are responsible for the Bears poor performance over the recent years.
2.Dumb jerks are the reason terrible movies like "You Got Served" and "Flibbity Flabbity Ghetto Hotties Gettin Thier Groove Back" are made.
3. Jerks always buy the last of whatever it is you're looking for. Whether it be a televison, hotdog, Camaro, pipe wrench, or whatever, the jerk in front of you always gets the last one.
4. Remember the old Nintendo game Guantlet? Remember how you would face a horde of ghosts or whatnot and slash your way through them and your character would say "sloop" whenever a ghost touched you, and when it seemed like you finnaly slashed through all ther jerk ghosts, a second wave came and you discovered they were respawning from a lair. In order to defeat the ghosts, you had to destroy thier lair. With jerks it's the same way. Ghost=jerks Lair= Canada.
5. Jeebus writes in Leviticus 34:3-6: "Yey, let it be written that I command my sons to smite the jerks, and he who smites the most jerks shall recieve a stairway to heaven and live thier life like a rolling stone, Yey. Amen"
Who are you to disobey Jeebus? Unless your Richard Simmons, you better dig out your jerk baton.
6. Jerks don't realize thier jerks. They go about the day thinking that thier cool and everyone likes them. Perhaps if jerks are identified as jerks and them publicly smited/beat down, the jerk population will reform.
7. Scientific emalgamations have proven that being a jerk is merely the beginning of a vicious
cycle. The cycle goes like this:
premature baby - spoiled kid - brat - punk - jerk - bastard - robot - Lucy Lawless - Hitler
Stop the cycle before it's too late.
8. Jerks are always demanding things. "Gimme some money", "Lemme borrow your car", "Make a list of ten things". LIttle do they realize that us non-jerks hate this.
9. There is already too many people in the world. We might as well make the jerks pay, as opposed to making nuns pay or bunny-care-givers.
10. What else are you gonna do? Log onto Bart Bart's* Ubersite?
*Jerk. He must pay
GO IllINI WOO!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by Skullcrusher (user info) at 2005-03-26 13:27:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, how dare you bash punks. Being a punk is a way of life man. It's not about being a jerk or a racist bum. We live our lives to be free of the tyranny of opression.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-03-25 19:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2PIE
it's a beebberry pie!
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2005-03-25 18:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2PIE!
Submitted by Smoothe (user info) at 2005-03-25 17:59:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by NocternalDragon (user info) at 2005-03-25 16:14:51 (#)
Ranking: -1
I dident apreciate the punk image as being a jerk, if your a real punk and not a poser like 80% of the kids you see now a days your really acepting of everyone else for who they are. Now if your one of these poser punks who you see at the mall (Real punks rarely goto the mall) your a fucking fasist jerk. But leave the rest of us alone, you dont bother us we wont bother you, we can all hang out have a beer smoke a joint and chill.
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Somebody's a little cranky and needs some Ian Mckay to cheer him up. In the words of Johnny Rotten - Piss off. Jerk.
Submitted by rock_music (user info) at 2005-03-25 17:05:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-03-25 16:50:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you're giving Hitler a bad name.
and look, you just HAD to go and ignite one of those "PUNK IS NOT A GENRE IT'S AN ATTITUDE" idiots, too! for shame!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-03-25 16:33:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I feel you need to start encouraging the bulls in your posts.
Submitted by NocternalDragon (user info) at 2005-03-25 16:14:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I dident apreciate the punk image as being a jerk, if your a real punk and not a poser like 80% of the kids you see now a days your really acepting of everyone else for who they are. Now if your one of these poser punks who you see at the mall (Real punks rarely goto the mall) your a fucking fasist jerk. But leave the rest of us alone, you dont bother us we wont bother you, we can all hang out have a beer smoke a joint and chill.
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-03-25 15:53:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Die, jerks, die.
Submitted by NoahsArk (user info) at 2005-03-25 15:11:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-03-25 15:00:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.apostrophe.fsnet.co.uk/
PLEASE FOR THE BABY JEEBUS AND THE ORPHANS USE THIS WEB PAGE AS A RESOURCE
And Gauntlet rocks my socks right fucking off.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-03-25 14:56:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You have this brand of foolish insanity that I find to be immensely entertaining.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-03-25 14:17:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go Fuck Yourself Commie.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-03-25 14:02:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, nevermind, there goes that theory.
lIIlNl
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-03-25 14:00:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Illini," typed in all capital letters, is four vertical lines, an N, and another vertical line.
LIILNL
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:57:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Woman: I'm not going to press charges, but I assume you'll want to
punish him.
Homer: 'Preciate the suggestion, lady, but he hates that. And I
gotta live with him.
Bart: You're the man, Homer.
Bart After Dark
Submitted by Nie_ein_Engel (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:48:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This made me giggle.
It's "amalgamate" I think. Who cares.
Good times with the inclusion of Lucy Lawless. I was obsessed with Xena as a younger girl, but that's still funny.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:44:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
peener
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:43:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jeebus and the Debil are at war over Heaben.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:41:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It was going to be a 0 until I scrolled to the pictures. Pure genius. Maybe when you get to the robot form, you'll use spell check, though!
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:37:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"premature baby - spoiled kid - brat - punk - jerk - bastard - robot - Lucy Lawless - Hitler"
That was pure gold.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:27:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who would want to buy a Camaro?
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:23:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cracked me the fuck up.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:18:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:12:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
is that "punk" kissing a cock?
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yup. He's a cock-smoocher.
Submitted by Skullcrusher (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:18:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Stupendous. A solid effort. Give it time man, the sores will go away.
Submitted by Josephine (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:17:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Marginal. Predictable use of the Bart the Hot. (I have thing for plaid.)
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:16:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it!
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:15:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bear my Ghey childrenz, plz.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:12:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is that "punk" kissing a cock?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:08:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You havent lived life until youve fucked death in the gall bladder.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:08:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ghost=jerks Lair= Canada.
HAHAHAAHHAHAAHHAAHAHAH
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-25 13:08:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Are you shitting me? I should be the one getting paid.