My thoughts on Schiavo, and women in general. (768 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.72 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by User10030 (View user info) at 2005-03-25 23:35:01 EST
Despite my best efforts, I have not only been barraged with shit about this Shiavo lady, but have also formed an opinion on the matter, even though I really didn't want one. Normally, I have a live and let people do whatever the fuck they want mentality. The way I see it, as long as you're not fucking up my shit, do what you want. Let women kill their children, Let MJ molest little kids, let Martha Stewart ... do whatever it is that she did, Let Oprah die because I hate her so much. But this Schiavo lady, she crossed the line. She started taking over every channel on T.V. You fuck with my T.V. and you deserve death. However, in "modern society" you can't just say that the bitch deserves to die because 'Sanford and Son' wasn't on this morning because the media decided that some brain dead lady was more important than the comedic talent of Redd Foxx. So, I've compiled a list of other reasons why she deserves to die:
3. As the best case scenario, the bitch is conscious (I know it's doubtful, but pretend for argument's sake) but experiencing total body paralyses. Imagine lying in bed all day unable to move, unable to express yourself, doing nothing but sucking up my hard-earned tax dollars. Now imagine doing that FOR FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS! I think we will all agree that my tax dollars could be better spent in aiding humanity, might I suggest government funding of lesbian porn?
4. But the odds are, the bitch is brain-dead.
2. Fuck her.
1. Have you noticed that the pro-lifers disagree with abortion because they say that it's unethical to play God (by killing a fetus), but then think it's OK to play God by keeping some brain-dead slore alive?
7. Now that I think about it, fuck the fetuses too.
5. We need some people with tape on their wallets that have "tax dollars" written on it. That makes about as much sense as the morons with tape on their mouths. (I apologize if you're one of the morons wearing tape, I didn't mean to offend you)
6. Yea, actually I did mean to offend you. Fuck you and all the other tape-wearing morons.
I was going to put my points in numerical order, but thought that alphabetical order might be more fun. Because, well honestly, fuck numbers.
Now that we all agree that Terri (If that is her name. I've tried my hardest to avoid this bullshit, but it's taken over the media like ... something that takes over the media ... That wasn't such a good analogy) should die, and the government should start giving funding to lesbian porn let's take a look at the pros and cons of women in general:
Pros:
Sex
Cleaning my house
Cons:
Everything about women not listed under the "pros" category I.E. them crying all the fucking time. Which brings me to my next point: Women need to stop crying all the fucking time. To help with this, I have compiled a simple list (Not inclusive, merely a guide) of things that are considered a good reason to cry, and things that are considered a stupid reason to cry. We'll call this list "God reason to cry/stupid reason to cry".
Good reason to cry: Your boyfriend cheated on you.
Stupid reason to cry: Your boyfriend didn't call you after work to tell you that he had an uneventful day and was going to take a nap, but instead took a nap and called you afterwards meaning that you had to fend for yourself for 10 hours without a fucking crutch to lean on.
Good reason to cry: Your twat is bleeding because you have some sort of serious medical condition (Like crotch rot, or maybe somebody shanked your twat, those are both good reasons to cry)
Stupid reason to cry: Your twat is bleeding because that's what it does every month (you would think women would get used to this and stop bitching about it)
Good reason to cry: You get taken advantage of in a dark alley by a masked assailant.
Stupid reason to cry: You think your boss is taking advantage of you by asking you to do extra work, without realizing that he is just trying to have you keep up with the male portion of his staff. "No such thing as the weaker sex", my ass.
Good reason to cry: You caught the flesh-eating virus.
Stupid reason to cry: You caught the common cold.
Good reason to cry: The pharmacy no longer carries the drugs you need to live.
Stupid reason to cry: The salon no longer caries your favorite shampoo.
Good reason to cry: The earth splits open and swallows your house.
Stupid reason to cry: Someone forgets to wipe their feet before they come in and you have to sweep.
Good reason to cry: Your car explodes, burning you and hideously deforming your face so that no one will ever love you again.
Stupid reason to cry: You got a small burn on your hand while you were cooking.
Best reason to cry: Someone died.
Worst reason to cry: Someone dyed your hair a half a shade the wrong color. Trust me, guys are too busy staring at your tits to notice what color your hair is, especially what shade of brown it is. Unless, of course, you have small tits, in which case I would recommend you stop paying to have your hair dyed and save up that money to get a tit job. You have to have priorities in life.
Now, "Shut up, you big dummy".
User Reviews
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-28 08:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny.
Submitted by miss_behvn (user info) at 2005-03-26 16:01:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor Terri Shiavo, I wish she would just die and put us all out of our misery. Honestly she is just a shell of a person. Brain stem, nothing else. She has no clue she is starving.
As for the second part, classic! I should print it out so I have a guide as to when it is appropriate to cry and not.
Submitted by Dash (user info) at 2005-03-26 14:18:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't like the first part, but the second part made me laugh. You should have made two separate posts.
Submitted by User10030 (user info) at 2005-03-26 11:44:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it, QueenAshley.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-03-26 11:33:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Yes, I did try to make this funny. I think everyone who writes comedic posts tries to make them funny. I didn't realize putting efort into posting was a bad thing. maybe next time I'll post whatever random shit pops into my mind?
___
You can put effort into something without making it seem like you're putting effort into it. Read Comicbookguy, Filthy, Circe, Kristen, Smurfs, etc. A lot of their stuff is really funny, and it has a really nice flow to it. This just seemed forced.
Submitted by User10030 (user info) at 2005-03-26 11:05:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know why I try to explain myself, but here goes:
Yes, I did try to make this funny. I think everyone who writes comedic posts tries to make them funny. I didn't realize putting efort into posting was a bad thing. maybe next time I'll post whatever random shit pops into my mind?
Schiavo's parents had to watch their daughter die a long time ago, they just haven't realized it yet.
Before you go complaining about poor Schiavo having to starve to death, just try to keep in mind that before she was in a vegetative state, she was anorexic. Meaning that, while she was still conscious, she intentionally starved herself. Once you come to terms with that, try to realize that she's fucking brain dead, asshole.
I don't believe that too many tax dollars go to medical funding. Actually, I would like to see more of my money being used to help people rather than going to things like "corporate welfare". If I was really upset about her "eating up my tax dollars" (Thank you) I would have suggested something better than government funding of lesbian porn (Although I can't think of anything better than lesbian porn right now).
Not to mention, go to hell.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-26 10:57:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's what I think - http://www.ubersite.com/m/62762
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-03-26 09:48:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Have you noticed that the pro-lifers disagree with abortion because they say that it's unethical to play God (by killing a fetus), but then think it's OK to play God by keeping some brain-dead slore alive?"
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They even do worse than that...pro lifers scream about killing an unconscious fetus, but kill fully grown surgeons who perform abortions.
By the way, were the numbers of reasons for being pissed at Schiavo out of order for a reason? I got confused.
Submitted by bicklefragile (user info) at 2005-03-26 09:24:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm trying really hard to negotiate a murder suicide with Schiavo, Paris Hilton and Ashlee Simpson. but at the monet their agents are uncooperative.
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-03-26 08:56:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I agree with Queen Ashlee in that I think you're trying way too hard.
-2 for being insensitive as a family watches their daughter starve to death while they helplessly stand by. Maybe one day you'll have kids and you'll have to stand by as something like this happens to one of them. And then you'll hear people say, 'But my hard earned tax dollars- surely they're worth more than your retarded child's life.'
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-03-26 05:56:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was hilarious personally.
Submitted by gabrielpm (user info) at 2005-03-26 05:23:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-03-26 02:36:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that was amusing
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2005-03-26 01:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"well honestly, fuck numbers."
classic..
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-03-26 01:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was crap in its stinkiest form.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-03-26 01:13:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sarcasm in its most basic form is saying something while subtly implying something else in a comical nature. That phrase is not sarcasm.
Submitted by GuyDude (user info) at 2005-03-26 01:11:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
very good point. I can see you have a remarkable understanding of what sarcasm is.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-03-26 01:00:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What ashlee said.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-03-26 00:56:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Hey, dude, I think that'd be pretty fucking upsetting.
Submitted by GuyDude (user info) at 2005-03-26 00:52:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not sarcastic? What are you retarded? "Good reason to cry: The earth splits open and swallows your house"
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-03-26 00:52:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Dude. I'm high and sleepy. Don't make me think, goddammit.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-26 00:47:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
1. Have you noticed that the pro-lifers disagree with abortion because they say that it's unethical to play God (by killing a fetus), but then think it's OK to play God by keeping some brain-dead slore alive?
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-03-26 00:44:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't think he was trying hard enough. Maybe he's trying too hard to make it seem like he's not trying hard enough?
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-03-26 00:36:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't know, sarcastic probably is the wrong word. I'm stoned and it's past my bedtime, so my brain's not really operating on the higher levels right now. It still seems like he's trying too hard.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-03-26 00:33:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-03-26 00:29:11 (#)
Ranking: -1
This read like you were trying WAY too hard to be sarcastic and witty.
---
Funny, I didn't detect a hint of sarcasm. He was pretty to-the-point.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-03-26 00:29:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
This read like you were trying WAY too hard to be sarcastic and witty.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-03-26 00:26:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I never had the chance to have -0.00. I skipped from -0.01 to 0.01, to my dismay.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-26 00:16:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-03-25 23:58:37 (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 because I laughed at it...and I'm hoping you're not serious.
I was holding a piece of paper in my mouth the other day and when I went to remove it, I ripped all the skin off of my lips. Don't know what that has to do with anything. I just find found it funny.
0----------------
HAHAHAHAHA
sorry. had to be done.
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2005-03-26 00:09:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
stevie was that sand paper?
Submitted by olivia_tremor_control (user info) at 2005-03-26 00:08:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i was going to give you a -2 because everyone's probably tired of terry schiavo posts, but this was really good. and you had pretty good points. and it was funny.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-03-25 23:58:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 because I laughed at it...and I'm hoping you're not serious.
I was holding a piece of paper in my mouth the other day and when I went to remove it, I ripped all the skin off of my lips. Don't know what that has to do with anything. I just find found it funny.
Submitted by User10030 (user info) at 2005-03-25 23:56:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about User10030
User id: 10030
Registered on or around: 2004-07-05 17:52:59
# Messages posted: 36
# Reviews written: 127
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Average rating of all messages: -0.00
Yes, the perfect o, the balance of yin and yang, the nuetron of the ranking world. It's so perfect, so very, very perfect.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-25 23:55:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm A Big Dummy!
Submitted by Parkinsuns (user info) at 2005-03-25 23:55:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-25 23:55:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Didnt read da post. Fred sanford AUTO ++++++++++++++++222222222222222222222222222222222222222!
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-03-25 23:47:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Because I'm not going to screw 'your average'
and 8 trys to make one post.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-03-25 23:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This bitch needs to die already. The latest crying by their parents on TV to spare their daughter makes me sick...THEY are the disgusting bastards, not the people wanting her to die.
70+ percent of America say the government needs to stay out of hit, and these idiots are begging Jeb Bush to ignore the will of the people of America and the judges decisions for this selfish family.
It is sad, but as every day goes by it is getting less sad and more pathetic.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-03-25 23:44:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-25 23:36:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*cries*