Become an Asshole like my boss - 7 easy steps (772 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1.11 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sphagnum (View user info) at 2005-03-27 08:42:22 EST
--------- *DISCLAIMER* This list was not created by Sphagnum. I received a copy of it and since I had not seen it before decided it was worthwhile sharing.---------
1. Never respect anyone unless you're sure they could physically
beat you up. This includes your own mother, police officers, teachers, the
president, your boss and the Pope.
2. Criticize everything, no matter how mundane or pointless it
may be.
Example:
"These fries aren't very fucking crispy!"
3. Always cut people off, whether you're talking, driving, or
having sex.
4. Flick cigarette butts at everything-all the time. Even if you
don't smoke.
5. Call everyone you meet by the nickname "Chief."
(Always roll your eyes when you say it.)
Example:
"Yeah, right, whatever you say Chief!" (ROLLS EYES)
For extra emphasis, roll your eyes, say "Chief" and flick a cigarette butt at
the same time.
6. Always precede the word "man" with either "little," "Mr.," or "old."
Examples:
"I don't think you needed that skateboard Little Man,
and that's why I backed over it with my Camaro."
"So, Old Man, why don't you get up out of that wheelchair and MAKE ME!?"
"No, I don't have my license and registration, Mr. Man."
(Notice: This is especially useful when speaking to someone
you know can not beat you up.)
7. Noogie every small child you meet until they cry--including newborn babies.
User Reviews
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-08 14:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
having fun yet?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-03-31 14:08:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
boring
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2005-03-27 18:20:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-03-27 15:40:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-27 14:49:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
********************
See, I'm easy to get along with!
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-27 15:33:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
meh
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-27 14:49:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-27 14:28:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
I can do it in three.
---------
I knew you certainly wouldn't need a lesson Dickhead.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-03-27 14:44:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHAHAHAHA
No.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-27 14:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I can do it in three.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-27 10:18:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by standardeviant (user info) at 2005-03-27 09:51:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, I guess both of us suck, huh?
-----------
It would appear so... Except when you "suck" you are also required to decide whether you should spit or swallow!
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-03-27 09:53:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice post, chief.
Submitted by standardeviant (user info) at 2005-03-27 09:51:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, I guess both of us suck, huh?
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-03-27 08:58:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
aaaaaahhhhhhhh
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-27 08:56:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Man, that picture isn't as big as I was led to believe.. Fuck it!
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-03-27 08:48:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You're fired!