So this is Ubersite (943 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.13 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Immure (View user info) at 2003-04-10 15:28:38 EDT
Ok I have heard of this site from mnay other of my friends who often find themselves twiddling their thumbs for $12.00 an hour
I have to admit I have been uber-lurking for a few days. This is some funny shit. This is my first post so is by far not very poetic as they say.
So I've seen some pretty hilarious stuff on this site. I admit I have not seen it all--I do have to work sometimes to earn that $12.00/hour. What I would like to see is some funny 'real life' situations that have happened to people. I don't like my job and I get through it by finding things to laugh at.
Here is something that I happened to see the other day I found hilarious as hell:
I was walking home from work and while I was waiting for the light to turn I was asked by a homeless person if I could spare any change. I didn't have any but I gave him a bunch of candies in my pocket instead. He left me alone and proceeded to ask the guy in a suit next to me for some change.
The guy just ignored him, so the homeless man stood up and stepped right in fron tof him asking the guy for change again.
The man in the suit pushed the homeless guy so hard he fell into the street.
The homeless guy got up and started running after the man in the suit when he caught him he kneed him in the nuts and as the guy in the suit was lying on the ground the homeless guy started shoving the candies I had given him into the man's mouth. A cop came by seconds later and broke it up
Every time I thought about it that day I couldn't help but laugh my ass off.
User Reviews
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-04-11 11:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait, mister, you're drinking a candle!
Submitted by jjgoreha (user info) at 2003-04-11 10:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeaaaah I found a twonie on my floor... ROKK!
Yesh, so, homeless people. The ones here in Halifax like to scream obscenities at me in the early hours of the morning when I've spent entirely too much time tailoring and just want to go the fuck to bed. This one night, I'm walking home at 3 am and there's this guy screaming at everybody who walks by. I have my headphones in, so I hope he'll think I can't hear him and he'll just not try to talk to me. No such luck. He's screaming about how I'm a bitch for not talking to him and how I'm going to burn in hell. Now, I start to get a little worried, because he's sort of following me, and there aren't many people around. Then, I cross paths with a classmate going to school, and I'm pretty happy: if the bum follows me any more, then I'll scream and dearest Ian will come straight to my rescue =D Luckily for me, the bum follows buddy Ian and screams at him for about 20 seconds before getting distracted by some other poor unfortunate person. And here in Halifax, they're all like that.
Submitted by kasarius <lordjimi2.at.aol.com> at 2003-04-11 09:49:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mmmm... candles...
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-04-11 01:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I must be delirious.
When I read this, I thought it said candles. I was thinking to myself:
a) The homeless guy was shoving candles in this guy's mouth?
b) What kind of person carries candles around in their pocket and then gives them to a homeless man???
Then I started reading the comments and was thinking "Why do these people keep talking about candy?"
It makes more sense as candy, but now I can't stop thinking about the image of a homeless guy shoving candles into a guy's mouth.
Submitted by Kasarius (user info) at 2003-04-10 19:51:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice Bruce Hornsby reference, Loren.
The only homeless person story I have is a depressing one, so I won't bother telling it. I have too many stories about people I know committing suicide and this isn't the post for such a topic.
One of the funniest images I can remember is a fight that happened in school. It was between two girls, and to break it up the gym teacher dove straight into one of them, tackled her, and pinned her to the floor as she bit him.
Speaking of school stories, someone took a shit in the hallway today... it was one of the special ed kids, and in the hallway leading to the lunch rooms, and it happened RIGHT BEFORE my lunch. It was all chunky, but with a a mud colored liquid that made a puddle the chunks floated in. The smell wafted through the whole cafeteria, and eventually someone threw up. That was appetizing.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2003-04-10 18:56:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lodnem always has great responses.
Submitted by lodnem (user info) at 2003-04-10 17:10:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the story would've been better if the homeless guy stole the 3 piece suit's car and used the candy to seduce 13 year old girls into going for a ride.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-04-10 16:07:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think this story is great, not because there was a homeless guy, I feel sorry for him, but because said homeless guy kicked the shit out of some asshole who pushed him. Homeless people may get on your nerves, they may be pushy, but that doesn't give you the right to attack them.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-04-10 16:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pay no attention to the scoffers...I thought it was funny. I was waiting for a bus yesterday and this guy came up and asked if I had a spare $50,000$. I laughed and gave him 2 bucks(all I had on me)
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-04-10 16:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahhhaahahahaha.. i can picture shit like going down and seeing something like that would make my whole month.. just re-picturing it over and over..
i had my share of running in with homeless ppl. Once only.. but it was still funny.
this was in montreal. I am banned from the whole country till year 2007 by the way(story for anther time)..
Submitted by Snipa at 2003-04-10 16:01:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This isn't Ubersite dum dum.
Submitted by HeavensWalls (user info) at 2003-04-10 15:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This probably wouldn't rate very high in a funny story sort of way but it was hillarious to me when it happened. I used to work in my local mall in a Radioshack. Well, it was getting close to closing time one night so there were hardly any customers in the mall at all and usually when it got like that all the employees in the stores would linger in the doorways to their stores and we'd all just chill and have fun. On this particular night we were doing just that, when we here the loudest sound of footstomps heading our way. We all look in the direction and there is this guy hauling ass towards the exit of the building. I've never seen anyone running this fast and this guy at the time was apparently running from nothing because we didn't see anyone chasing him.
After he'd already gone through the JC Penny's door, about 15 seconds later, an overweight policeman comes hauling as much ass as an overweight policeman can haul. He had sweat pouring down his cherry colored face and we all just laughed at him as he slowly ran through the JC Penny door. Yeah, like he was gonna catch that shoplifter... HAHA
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-04-10 15:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah. Hilarious.
Violence. Homeless on the street.
Eh hem... "man in a silk suit hurries by, catches the poor old lady's eye, and, just for fun he says... "get a job" hmm hmm hmm...
Better luck next time candy-man.
Loren
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2003-04-10 15:46:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny story. I have a couple real life situation stories(no, this is not a plug...ok maybe it is) just check out my user info. I have 2 stories in particular. "StreetPunk's run in with the law"
and "I laughed all the way to the donut shop"
Peace,
STREETPUNK
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2003-04-10 15:43:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dr. Seuss can narrate better than you. Quit laughing and take a writing course.
Murphy
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2003-04-10 15:37:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that is a really interesting story.
Submitted by MassD (user info) at 2003-04-10 15:36:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey... for one thing I didn't want your damned candy... I have diabetes and it would make me go blind. And that pigfucker-in-a-three-piece deserved a kick in the berries.