If I ran shit (674 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.66 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by www.fuckyou.com (View user info) at 2005-03-28 00:46:38 EST
sex offenders would have the option of having their nuts smashed with a 5 pound mallet by the victims closest male relative and avoid prison, or option B. Option B is a surgical full sex change complete with fake breast, hormones, and a brand new vagina. The now "female" sex offender would then serve a life sentence in an all male prison, with the condition that "she" would have to walk all day naked in high heels. This would only apply to rapist and child molesters. The cost of the surgery would be offset by filming the nut smashing, and broadcasting it on an internet pay site.
breast implants would be free to any woman from the ages of 18-40 providing she was at least a 6 on a scale of 1-10.
everyone in the United States would have to speak fluent English, if not they would be shot out of a high velocity cannon in the general direction of their home country
White males would no longer be able to immitate the black hip hop culture. If a white male could not conform to the new regulations he would then be dressed in klan robes and dropped off in the nearest ghetto
all drugs would be legal, and distributed for free in designated areas. The addict could use as much as he wanted at the clinic, but would be prohibited from leaving the clinic possessing any drugs. Anyone caught leaving the drug clinic with drugs would be executed on site
marijuana would be legal and have no restrictions on its use
alcohol would still be legal, but if a person was caught DWI then that person would then be doused in gasoline and set on fire
people would need a license to breed, the licensing proceedure would include a series of IQ and aptitude test. If a person could not score satisfactory then that person would be surgically made sterile.
MTV would actually have to start playing music videos again
reality television shows would be banned
entertainers would be prohibited from speaking in public. Also publications such as People US weekly etc. would be prohibited.
prostitution would be legalized and regulated
Anyone with a sexually transmitted disease would have an STD identification card
women who write love letter to death row inmates would be hung upside down by their feet in their respective town square
only women that score 4 or under on the scale of 1-10 could be practicing lesbians
P'Diddy's new name would be "I am a fucktard" and his wealth would be distributed amongst the poor
clinically crazy people would be airdropped into Canada
sane homeless people would have the option of becoming servents, or driven to the Mexican border and given a job as a border patrol agent with a license to kill
there would be no more liberal or conservative, only my way
anyone convicted of a white collar crime would be sentenced to working as a construction worker, waitress, or fruit picker for the rest of their lives
the national anthem would be the music from Star Wars, and Hail to the Cheif would be replaced with The Imperial March
User Reviews
Submitted by HammetthalenvanSRV (user info) at 2005-03-28 13:57:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-28 08:16:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
What are you, 12?
go suck a cock you pretentious ass clown,
Submitted by HammetthalenvanSRV (user info) at 2005-03-28 13:53:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:11:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
This is exactly why fucktards like you AREN'T in charge.
No the reasons a fucktard like me isnt in charge are many
I do not come from a rich affluent family and subsequently do not have the necessary connections to get into politics
and
theres a little something in the US government called the constitution, that wouldnt allow the majority of the things I posted
and finally
THIS WAS NOT A SERIOUS POST YOU STUPID FUCK :)
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-03-28 13:53:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:12:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
everyone in the United States would have to speak fluent English, if not they would be shot out of a high velocity cannon in the general direction of their home country
White males would no longer be able to immitate the black hip hop culture. If a white male could not conform to the new regulations he would then be dressed in klan robes and dropped off in the nearest ghetto
+2 for those alone
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:12:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
everyone in the United States would have to speak fluent English, if not they would be shot out of a high velocity cannon in the general direction of their home country
White males would no longer be able to immitate the black hip hop culture. If a white male could not conform to the new regulations he would then be dressed in klan robes and dropped off in the nearest ghetto
+2 for those alone
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:11:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is exactly why fucktards like you AREN'T in charge.
Submitted by Obi-wan (user info) at 2005-03-28 09:56:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Insted of a mallet you should use a chainsaw.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-03-28 09:44:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I agree.... FUCKYOU.COM -2DIE!!
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-03-28 09:28:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-28 08:50:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2die
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-28 08:16:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What are you, 12?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-28 08:07:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you are identifying the problems but the solutions are a bit much.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-28 06:23:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That isn't exactly racism
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-03-28 06:08:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
everyone in the United States would have to speak fluent English, if not they would be shot out of a high velocity cannon in the general direction of their home country
Would have been a 2, but racist shit like this is not cool
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-03-28 03:17:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"P'Diddy's new name would be "I am a fucktard" and his wealth would be distributed amongst the poor"
I ready that as "I am fucktard" which was funnier.
+ fucking 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-28 03:15:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I keel you.
Submitted by HammetthalenvanSRV (user info) at 2005-03-28 02:45:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
john williams is an evil genius
So true
Submitted by QueenSkye (user info) at 2005-03-28 02:30:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesomeness- i like your taste in theme music- john williams is an evil genius
Submitted by algermetiphist (user info) at 2005-03-28 02:09:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
clinically crazy people would be airdropped into Canada
---
And that would change things there how?
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-03-28 02:04:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:50:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Unique and entertaining.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:43:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:26:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to have sexual relations with you.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:42:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaa, I liked it!
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:42:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Wow, you should be honored. You just got the_fan's very first review.
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:40:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i generally agree
Submitted by The_Fan (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:37:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If I ran shit, people who rated good posts like this with a -2 would be immediately shot in the he<<BAM!!!>>
Submitted by olivia_tremor_control (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:29:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i would vote for you
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:26:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to have sexual relations with you.
Submitted by HammetthalenvanSRV (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:25:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:18:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Why ban hot lesbians? Did I misread that?
Its not a ban on women acting like lesbians for porn or anything, just trying to keep the best looking babes in the gene pool, shoulda clarified :)
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:18:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why ban hot lesbians? Did I misread that?
Submitted by jack0173 (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:11:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Mostly good ideas
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:10:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YES!
plus. fucking. two.
Submitted by Deathwatchz (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:07:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
im cool with all of the above, except for getting airdropped into canada.. i like it here man!
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-03-28 01:02:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It started good, but the 2nd half was all filler. Nut smashing. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-03-28 00:59:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good shit!