If I am nothing. (769 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.89 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Wildcat (View user info) at 2005-03-28 10:04:18 EST
I'm sitting in the shower again. The steam billows around me as the warm rain falls on my head. Like little soldiers, half empty bottles of shampoo and conditioner lay around me. Green, white, blue, all of them.
Music is blaring in the background, calling me away. Away to better things and more noble causes. The singular voice rises above the melodic instruments telling me there is more. The voice calls to me.
I run my hand through my dirty brown hair and watch as mud falls from it, landing on my knees. Mud doesn't bother me; there are dirtier things within my head than on it. I can feel the heat from the water warming my back. I suppose it would need to be hotter to warm my so called cold heart.
There are few things that allow me to think clearly. A life or death scenario always works, but alcohol induced clarity comes at a much lower cost. This is another one of those times.
The curtain is betraying me. It is not my protector. It is not my savior. Why is it hiding me?
I think of the things that have lead to this. Her insecurities. Her self-centeredness. My non-responsiveness. My hidden self.
I'm Jack's complete lack of emotion.
We sat together earlier, laughing and talking. In the end though, I'm not grown up enough. In the end, two jobs and full time school doesn't make me responsible. In the end, my financial responsibility allows her and her son freedom and sparing happiness. But I am not enough. I am not the millionaire nor fake gentlemen she dreams of from daytime television. I have been assessed and was found lacking.
I sit in my slow realization, naked and wet. How fitting. I raise my head to catch the water in my mouth and the music strikes me oddly, inspiring me. I can only dream that the love and support being sung about is real. It's sad, I'm dreaming of a new reality.
Shaking my head clear of the water as I stand, I throw the curtain back with disgust and step out, leaving the water running. I let my hands brush the wood of the door frame as I step out into the cool night. The beaded water on my shoulders and chest glistens in the moonlight.
The only thing left for her was my water-laden footprints trailing towards the door. If I am nothing, nothing will be missed.
User Reviews
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-26 11:29:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
the ending is what makes it
Submitted by dirtycyberdawg (user info) at 2006-03-26 10:45:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-03-26 10:35:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mommys_little_mistake (user info) at 2005-09-26 18:08:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
vv I agree
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-09-26 18:04:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yours is much better than hers.
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-03-28 18:29:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wish I had a comment. I don't. This was extraordinary.
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-03-28 13:58:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sitting in the shower when you are depressed (or coming down off of hard drugs... ok that's the same thing i guess) kicks ass.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-03-28 11:52:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
instant fight club +2
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-03-28 11:04:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Time to find better people.
Submitted by rayrayshanaynay (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:53:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:46:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well said Man, well said!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:42:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:33:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No comment... would not be an adequate response. Very nice.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:27:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
For not having plumbing INside of the house and a +2 and a No Comment - so I don't break the chain.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:25:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:19:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Josephine (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:13:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't break with the no comment trend.
Oops.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:09:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:08:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:06:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment