Jimbo Gets Out of a Ticket (2484 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Miscellaneous
Rating: 1.78 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jimbo (View user info) at 2005-03-28 10:55:38 EST
I don't even try to talk my way out of tickets anymore. It's just not worth my trouble. I just immediately pull over, hand over my license and registration, and let the man (or woman) write it up and let me be on my way. I do, however, ALWAYS show up for my court dates. The majority of the time, the ticketing officer doesn't even show up and I can get the charge dismissed, resulting in no fines or court costs.
About six weeks ago, I got a ticket for 79 in a 55. Personally, I think it's retarded to have the beltway around Indy set at 55, so I just ignore the speed limit, and keep up with the flow of traffic. Unfortunately, I got caught all alone between the Meridian and Michigan Road exits, and got nailed. Damn. I accepted my ticket with the appropriate level of politeness, and continued on to work.
I went to the Hamilton County Courthouse on Wednesday last week. My court time was set at 5:30 PM, so I didn't even have to miss work. When I got there, the place was insane. Just jam packed with people. I got in the "Not Guilty" line and waited for all the Nolo Contendere and Guilty pleas to go through. That took about 2 hours.
When the Not Guilty cases got started, the room really cleared out, and the only people left were the defendants (about 40 of us) and the ticketing officers (about 12 of them). That's when I realized that my ticketing officer (let's call him Officer Willibucket) had managed to make it into my hearing. Crap. What to do? I had to either change my plea to Nolo Contendere, or I had the strong likelihood of getting my fines increased just for wasting the judge's time. Unless I could get Officer Willibucket out of the room for an extended period of time.
I called my wife.
Me: "Honey, I need you to call the Hamilton County precinct of the State Police and ask to deliver a message to Officer Willibucket."
Wife: "What the hell are you doing? I'm not calling the freaking police."
Me: "Baby, please, he showed up at court and I need to get him out of the room before I get to the front of the line."
Long story short, Officer Willibucket spent the next 15 minutes trying to find out if his wife had really been in a car accident, leading to this exchange when I got to the front of the line:
Me: "Not guilty, Your Honor."
Judge: "Is the ticketing officer present?"
Bailiff: "Officer Willibucket had to step out, Judge."
Judge: "Lucky you."
Me: "Yes sir."
Judge: "Case dismissed."
Me: "Thank you, sir."
No fine, no court costs, no insurance increase.
Yay, me!
User Reviews
Submitted by KillerTofu (user info) at 2005-04-08 15:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jimbo, you rock. Just a tip though. 465 in Indy really sucks, I drive it every day. My recommendation, keep it at 70, anything above is when they start handing out tickets. During rush hour you might be able to sneak away with 75, just don't push it.
Submitted by A-Daamage (user info) at 2005-04-02 05:18:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha! Go Jimbo! You are a hero to all of us everyday working stiffs.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-03-30 10:19:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is one of the most awesome thing I have ever heard. Except for the phone call that was a bit harsh...
Hey Jimbo, don't you want to call my court house and ask to speak to Thomas Sneddon, just before I take the stand :) pwetty pwease!
Shamone
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-03-29 10:42:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You bad boy, you.
Good escape method though!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-03-28 15:38:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice...
Submitted by bulb007 (user info) at 2005-03-28 15:36:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha! ...learning a thing or two from ubersite...
Submitted by VerbOrgy (user info) at 2005-03-28 15:25:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been pulled over in that exact same section of 465. Damn Carmel cops.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-03-28 15:22:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay! Jimbo's back!
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2005-03-28 14:56:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I did think of the trooper...then I thought, 'no harm, his wife didn't really get into an accident.'
And Buckeyes, there's a Hamilton County just north of Indianapolis, too.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-28 14:19:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wonder how you would feel if you were in his shoes.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-03-28 14:19:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-28 13:54:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit, Jimbo... I'm sorry. +2
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-28 13:53:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WOOOOOOOOO!
Fight the power!
What state do you live in, Ohio? Hamilton county is Cincy.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-03-28 13:00:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations! You just bought your lifetime ticket to Hell.
Make sure you come to my barbecue.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-28 12:44:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just noticed you started posting again.
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-03-28 11:57:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Officer Willibucket is gonna read this.
Tsk Tsk
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-03-28 11:54:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i always wonder what hell will be like, because i'm positive i'm going there.
i envision your specifc punishment would be repeated raping with a baton. sucks for you.
me? i'll probably get parking cones and cherry slurpees thrown at my domepiece for all eternity.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-28 11:46:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahah you are going to hell
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-28 11:35:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet.
This is the way to do it.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-28 11:17:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Quick thinking. Way to stay cool under pressure.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-28 11:05:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It would have sucked if he was single.
My last ticket, I went all engineer on their bitch-asses and challenged the calibration of their equipment. I slung so much bullshit, that the magistrate just threw it out.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-03-28 11:05:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA
Can't give you a bad rating since I got pulled over doing the same speed in the same zone last night and got off. It was great. Kept rubbing my eyes because of the bright lights and told him I had to pick up my brother and sister for Easter etc. etc. He just asked if I'd been drinking, passed me my license back and said "happy easter. drive safe."
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-03-28 11:04:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA good one
you're going to hell though
Submitted by Josephine (user info) at 2005-03-28 11:00:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If this is your idea of evil, you really need to get out.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-03-28 10:58:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
way to stick it to the man, man!