Revenge is a Dish Best Served by a Musical Virgin (1101 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicRating: 0.72 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by prophet (View user info) at 2005-03-29 15:15:34 EST
To all of you who have bluntly informed me that music just really isn't my calling: I don't intend to keep my day jaerb. But that doesn't mean I expect to ever make money doing this stuff. Whatever. I'm having fun. Go rain on Bart's parade, where they have umbrellas and silly string and a Danger Mouse float... oh, and those little popper things that make children cry when you throw them at them. What were those things called?
Oh, right... M-80s.
So I just got a copy of FruityLoops 3 (yeah, the name is queer... what are you gonna do about it?), and I am learning how to compose my own techno tracks and hiphop beats. This was mainly spurred on by a need to get a good beat for the background of Habitual Nature (http://www.ubersite.com/m/62626 - by the way, the revised [read: not quite as terrible] lyrics will prolly be posted soon).
Without further ado, I present the first musical track I've ever made... EVAR. It requires a computer, speakers, and an investment of fifty one non-refundable seconds of your life. Oh, and be gentle with your comments - I'm a musical virgin. (Also, the regular kind.)
810KB of doesn't-suck-as-bad-as-you-thought-it-would sweetness:
http://startle.us/download/Chilled%20Dish.mp3
(Just kidding about the never having had consentual sex with a female thing.)
What?
User Reviews
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-06-22 20:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ProgramGeek has been banned, and with this review, my post's rating has been restored. =D
fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Submitted by ProgramGeek (user info) at 2005-06-22 14:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your fucking terrible. Let me help you lower your score down.
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2005-06-18 18:09:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-03-31 12:50:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My 40th post put me over 20,000 hits.
J33t.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-03-30 10:57:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Latest version of Finale does render WAV files and other audio formats that you can convert to audio CD very easily.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-03-30 10:14:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-03-30 08:44:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
If you know how to read and write music notation, I suggest ditching FruityLoops and go get yourself a copy of Finale...you won't be disappointed.
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Actually, I've used Finale before... I like FL3 better, simply because you can save and re-use measures, interpolate samples from anything, and make more realistic music instead of simply making sheet music and midi files.
If I were _composing_ music, say for a musical or something, Finale would be my weapon of choice. But for screwing around and making techno tracks and hiphop beats, I really like FL3. I will prolly try Acid Pro soon because like seventy people recommended it to me yesterday when I showed them the music.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-03-30 08:44:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you know how to read and write music notation, I suggest ditching FruityLoops and go get yourself a copy of Finale...you won't be disappointed.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-03-29 22:20:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've made a third one, if anyone's interested.
http://startle.us/download/Crystallized.mp3
Submitted by olivia_tremor_control (user info) at 2005-03-29 22:19:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i love fruityloops. i have wasted many days just sitting in front of the computer writing techno and beats for hip-hop type stuff. i even use it to make backing tracks for rock.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-03-29 19:02:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My friend uses FruityLoops to compose kickass techno tracks.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-03-29 18:39:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I give you +1 for admitting the first one sucked.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-03-29 17:26:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I could make this a separate post, but what the hell... I will stick it on this one.
I made a second song. It took less than half the time, and in my humble opinion, contains less than half the suck.
But the final word goes to all the artistic savants who gave the last song the ol' fruit basket.
http://startle.us/download/Rock%20Solid.mp3
Submitted by acidreflux (user info) at 2005-03-29 16:30:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:59:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow.
AcidReflux's highest rated post is a picture of a woman holding a sign that says "Fags Dominate the Clergy", and some of his other gems include gay porn and a picture of some broad's camel toe.
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I post that kind of stuff cause I can't write so good. It's good for a quick laugh maybe, then that's it.
That was pre-Iraq. I'm back now with a couple of bullet holes in me, patched up and trying to heal. I'm so full of creative writing talent I can hardly stand to be me.
Fuck off.
Submitted by acidreflux (user info) at 2005-03-29 16:23:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll stop making music tracks when proofofpurchase, Adamdidit2u, acidreflux, or Howie_Felter creates a better original track.
Damn, I almost forgot that none of you have a scrap of artistic talent or taste. Never mind, then.
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Bitch, you didn't say this was a contest. You posted your shit for people to review. Don't get all butt hurt just because I didn't like it.
I've got plenty of musical talent, but I don't for one second think everyone would like it. I'm happy with it, though, which is what's important.
I guess what I'm trying to say is "suck my ass," only in a nice way.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-03-29 16:21:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-03-29 16:03:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Tell you what:
I'll stop making music tracks when proofofpurchase, Adamdidit2u, acidreflux, or Howie_Felter creates a better original track.
Damn, I almost forgot that none of you have a scrap of artistic talent or taste. Never mind, then.
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I can support two people with the salary I make off my artistic talent. Don't cry because the avatar you spent a month on looks ghey
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-03-29 16:12:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Like I said before - sorry to make you cry, just don't let the snot dripping out of your nose clog up your key board. By the way , don't disappoint me by not giving my future posts a -2 because of this.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-03-29 16:03:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tell you what:
I'll stop making music tracks when proofofpurchase, Adamdidit2u, acidreflux, or Howie_Felter creates a better original track.
Damn, I almost forgot that none of you have a scrap of artistic talent or taste. Never mind, then.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:59:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow.
AcidReflux's highest rated post is a picture of a woman holding a sign that says "Fags Dominate the Clergy", and some of his other gems include gay porn and a picture of some broad's camel toe.
Howie Felter has an average rating of -0.4 on his eleven posts about druggie seizures and depressed fat kids.
The classiest members of Ubersite are coming out of the woodwork for this one.
Submitted by Howie_Felter (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:52:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If your singing is as shitty as your posting, I don't want to listen to it when I go home.
Submitted by acidreflux (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:50:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Where's Crockett and Tubbs?
Seriously though, if I was gay and tone deaf, I'm sure I'd love it.
Submitted by AshyLarry (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:48:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Legend of Kage.
or somethin
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:44:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
BTW the avatar is fucking Ghey to the Max
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:43:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:35:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Users should be required to have received a hundred reviews and have an average rating of above... oh, I don't know, we'll go with negative point-five... before their ratings count on other users.
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Everyone has to start somewhere. I thought this site was about being able to voice opinions - good, bad and ugly. However, I apologize for making you cry.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:42:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:32:32 (#)
Ranking: 1
although it's definitely video game, I'm going to have to go with a different scenario. it sounds like the music that might be played during Bart's mission that takes place on Kang & Kodos' ship. And no doubt for the 8-bit NES. This music isn't too bad, but I'm sure it would be used on a shitty game.
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Keep in mind that the 8-bit NES couldn't render music quite as complex.
Case-in-point: http://startle.us/download/punchout.mid
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:35:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:29:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
I want my 51 seconds back. Coincidentally, slamming my fingers repeatedly in my car door would have produced the same pain the ears experienced.
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proofofpurchase
User id: 17144
Registered on or around: 2005-03-10 20:15:06
# Messages posted: 1
# Reviews written: 29
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 11
# Hits: 303
Average rating of all messages: -1.12
Users should be required to have received a hundred reviews and have an average rating of above... oh, I don't know, we'll go with negative point-five... before their ratings count on other users.
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Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:25:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
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Well, I guess the saying holds true... if you don't have anything nice to say... =D
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Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:22:44 (#)
Ranking: 1
Reminds me of Nintendo music... the kind that plays in the background of a game like Contra... although there's an element of stealth to it. I imagined this being background music to a game in which you're a cunning PI, making it by using stealth and gumption. A PI who lives in Shanghai.
"The instant that dame walked into my office, I smelled something on 'er. Yeah, the scent of faded roses and cheap perfume... but something else... danger."
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That's what I was going for! I _LOVE_ Nintendoey music.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:32:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
although it's definitely video game, I'm going to have to go with a different scenario. it sounds like the music that might be played during Bart's mission that takes place on Kang & Kodos' ship. And no doubt for the 8-bit NES. This music isn't too bad, but I'm sure it would be used on a shitty game.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:29:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I want my 51 seconds back. Coincidentally, slamming my fingers repeatedly in my car door would have produced the same pain the ears experienced.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:25:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-03-29 15:22:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Reminds me of Nintendo music... the kind that plays in the background of a game like Contra... although there's an element of stealth to it. I imagined this being background music to a game in which you're a cunning PI, making it by using stealth and gumption. A PI who lives in Shanghai.
"The instant that dame walked into my office, I smelled something on 'er. Yeah, the scent of faded roses and cheap perfume... but something else... danger."