My hole (1016 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: fiction
Rating: 1.96 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2005-04-01 01:15:39 EST
Every song I hear reminds me of something. Each day I note the weather, and think of days gone by with similar clouds floating through the sky, or winds that ruffle my hair in such a way.
Sometimes life here seems unbearable. I'll hear a song that only stands to remind me of how sad my position in life is. I will try, and I mean really TRY, to be optimistic. I'll think back to my childhood. I'll remind myself of the values and standards my parents shaped me with.
Once in a while I will be able to overcome by sadness, my feelings of desperation, my wish to die... and I do it for my parents. I do it to make them proud, even though they aren't here with me now.
It seems like nobody is ever really here with me. I feel so alone. I feel more alone than I ever have. It's hard to bare the isolation. I know people are right there, almost within reach. I can't see them, but I hear them, I hear their songs, and sometimes they even get close enough that I can smell them.
But nobody ever gets close enough for me to actually see. I don't yearn for touch anymore- it's too much to desire. I used to want someones touch... and then the hate set in... how could anyone hurt me as I've been hurt? How could anyone torture me as I've been tortured?
Eventually that faded, too. I accepted my fate. I accepted that the people who have hurt me did it because they thought it was the right thing to do. Right and Wrong is subjective... what I believe is so very wrong, they obviously believed that it was very right.
Now I love them, even the ones that pushed me into this hole.
I only learned a bit of their language before coming, so I don't actually KNOW what they are chanting and singing about. The sound of their voices, the reverberations from their stomping feet, and the emotion that hangs thick in the air all stimulate me.
It's been nearly a month, I believe. The hole I'm in is perfectly circular, and large enough that I can stretch out flat to sleep without touching any of the walls. Each morning and night they drop scraps of food down to me. Usually it's a green mush, I am guessing some sort of mashed roots or vegetables. To provide me with water, they lower a bowl down to me with a rope contraption of some sort. I've taken to eliminating my waste in that same bowl, and sending it up when they come to collect my water bowl.
Everyone, including my idealistic professors, discouraged me from coming here alone. But I insisted. I wanted to find a culture that would bring out the best in me, that would make me a part of their village without question, that would admire my white skin and height.
And I do believe I did find such people. The problem of course wasn't ME, it was what I was doing when they found me.
What was I doing?
Dancing.
Well, I was dancing what I considered an "African" dance. It involved me rubbing dirt and leaves into my hair, painting my face black with eyeliner (brought for this specific purpose, I assure you), removing my clothes, and shrieking a bit.
Next thing I know, I'm in this hole, and I'm either being damned with their ritual dancing and songs on the grounds above me, or they are worshiping me as their new god.
Due to the amount and quality of food I am receiving, I'm guessing it's a worship thing... why else would they keep me alive?
Right?
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-12-17 17:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just kidding.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-12-17 16:51:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This isn't about your pussy?
Then I can't read all that.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-17 16:36:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:48:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:42:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:37:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I clicked on this expecting something completely different, but it was still good.
Submitted by Captain_Cool (user info) at 2005-04-01 17:53:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice read.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This isn't about your pussy?
Then I can't read all that.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-01 11:58:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63188
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-04-01 11:45:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was very good.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-04-01 11:15:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SPAMPAGE!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Josephine (user info) at 2005-04-01 10:59:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Weird title. +2 for dancing.
Submitted by rayrayshanaynay (user info) at 2005-04-01 10:42:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-04-01 10:08:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All women are innuendo freaks
Submitted by ardubs (user info) at 2005-04-01 09:55:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-01 09:49:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd fuck it.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-04-01 09:29:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That must have been one hell of a dance.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-04-01 09:00:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm in Paula
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-01 08:41:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Munkeypants - count me in.
I've been asking for this for a while.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-04-01 08:34:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-01 08:28:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who wants to start a petition to have Carols Bitchards ratings taken away?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-01 08:09:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh heh mmmheh heh heh
huh huh huhhuh huhuhuhuh
You said hole.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-04-01 07:11:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i read the title and thought it would be something a little more explicit.
I'm disapointed in you Corinne
+2 because it was still good
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-01 04:36:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-01 04:06:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:48:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:42:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:37:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I clicked on this expecting something completely different, but it was still good.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh and Carol Richards should have her ratings taken away.
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2005-04-01 04:20:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Take this the best way possible: I like the way you write "ooh poor me life sucks" posts. You do it in such a way that is not moping nor bitching, but explaining the feelings, emotions, and the worlds that your mind is put into. People who piss and moan ruin it for those who can accurately paint a picture of their depression and hurt.
I enjoy your writing and those who can make a horrible thing beautiful are truly gifted, not the other way around. People like you, Circe, and Lojope can describe something absolutely rancid in life but still leave a trace of some light at the end of the tunnel. That is beautiful.
Thank you
Banga
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-01 04:06:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:48:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:42:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:37:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I clicked on this expecting something completely different, but it was still good.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh and Carol Richards should have her ratings taken away.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-04-01 03:44:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
see now it's going to look like i gave this a plus two because of your sad little hissy fit on the last post.
but i'm not.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-01 02:43:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good.
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-04-01 02:23:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
To balance this:
Submitted by carolrichards (user info) at 2005-04-01 02:13:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
Another explicit suggestion, ie: innuendo
***
I don't really care if its an innuendo or not .. although ironically I didn't take it as such.
Submitted by carolrichards (user info) at 2005-04-01 02:13:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Another explicit suggestion, ie: innuendo
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-01 02:04:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's my big goal lately... give them something they don't expect.
I was hoping the begining of this post seemed like another one of those "ohh pooor me life sucks" rants that annoyed you, and then you'd get to the middle and be like "huh?".
Just so you know.
***
And drycleaning costs money. I think I'm going to put it in the washer and hope for the best!
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:48:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Comment
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:48:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:42:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:37:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I clicked on this expecting something completely different, but it was still good.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:37:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I clicked on this expecting something completely different, but it was still good.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:37:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I clicked on this expecting something completely different, but it was still good.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:27:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just get it dry cleaned so the feathers don't get all matted inside.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:24:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
can I put my down comforter in the washer, or is it too big?
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:19:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh heh heh...you said "hole".
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:17:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
deep.
ass.
hole.