You have got to be shitting me (2714 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.69 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by reallybored (View user info) at 2005-04-01 11:56:12 EST
When writing a post for Uber I usually try to come up with a nice captivating first sentence or two. Something to draw the reader in, and perhaps keep their ADD minds sated for the 5 minutes or so it takes to read my dribble. Today I seem to have a problem doing that with AMAZING LOUD FUCKING ENGINES NOISES IN THE BACKGROUND.
You would fucking think that there is a goddamn indy car race going on behind me.
Oh wait, there is...
The denizens of Florida who somehow run the town I call home (St.Petersburg) have, in all their wisdom, decided to invite the Indy car league (I don't concern myself with such shit "sports" so excuse me if I don't know the appropriate acronym) to have a Grand FUCKING Prix in the downtown area.
That's right kids, there are fucking Indy cars flying past my office building as we speak.
Now as I have stated before I do not entertainment with such things. This type of amusement in my mind draws up thoughts of fat white men, NASCAR hats, and a case of Natural Ice. Not exactly my type of party. But because of my job be located so close to the actual track, I'm forced to actually fucking mingle with these morons everytime I leave the building.
Somebody come and fucking shoot me.
http://www.gpstpete.com/home.cfm
User Reviews
Submitted by paulblakeford (user info) at 2006-01-03 18:17:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2005-07-15 14:20:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, I would have SO thrown rocks and shit on the road, and watch as their 2 inch clearing fiberglass bodies were ripped to shreds and the driver shoved back into his engine at 200 MPH while fan belts tore at him like a fucking meat grinder.
Why the fuck cant I live in a state where they do this. I would give them a damned good reason to keep indy racing on a race track, and not the street.
Im the kinda guy that used to shove a stick in a kids spokes as he rode by me, while racing his friend. Then laugh when his bike flipped over and he cracked his skull on the pavement. Why the hell did they have to come up with helmet laws?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-06-27 21:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Several of us owned the building at the last corner, before the main straight(SFL), at the
Toyota GPLB, before they reconfigured the race track.
With Long Beach, being such the vibrant town, it was and still is, our 7 story building
was half empty of tenants for most of our tenure of ownership.
The $ we made each year(pre race course change) from renting office rooms,roof views,etc.
to race enthusiasts for the 3 day peroid paid the 'nut' on the building for the entire year.
I am soooo sorry you could not stand the stress of such an event or make any $ from it.
Keep climbing up the food chain my Internet friend.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-01 19:19:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-06-01 18:53:48 (#)
Ranking: 1
I've missed you Matt. I wear my hooter's t-shirt to bed and rub myself while thinking of you.
--==-=-=-=--==--=-=-==--==--=
<ejaculates>
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-06-01 18:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've missed you Matt. I wear my hooter's t-shirt to bed and rub myself while thinking of you.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-06-01 18:44:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahaha.
I know how you feel.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-01 18:16:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh wow, that totally blows. You need to escape from Florida pronto.
Submitted by android (user info) at 2005-06-01 17:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
what's wrong with natural ice?
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-01 00:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ummm... did you die or something?
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-04-01 15:27:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:06:47 (#)
Ranking: 1
I would have never guessed, as a boy in Texas, that they have race tracks and "proving grounds" here in Michigan. We just thought of Detroit, and murder.
But. I was a boy. In Texas. What the fuck do you want from me?!??!?!?!??
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We've got those too, so you weren't completely wrong. Downtown Detroit isn't a bad place to be when they're running the race. The city is more ethnically diverse during big events like that, so your chances of getting mugged/kidnapped/raped/killed probably drop from 30% to 18%.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-01 14:21:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like Indy cars...on TV...once a year...sometimes
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-04-01 13:50:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
There's cars zooming by you and all you can do is bitch about it?
Go home sick.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-01 13:02:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i work outside the rock n roll hall of fame. beautiful view.
Submitted by Areis (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:34:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sucks for you
but at least you dont live in france then you'd have to
listen to them talk trash in a ehole different language
O wait rednecks do speak a different language:-)
Submitted by Howie_Felter (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:30:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wave a checkered flag out your window and confuse the fuck out of them.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:27:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:16:37 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-01 11:59:29 (#)
Ranking: 1
Throw shit out of your window at them.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:24:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit. Forgot to rate.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:23:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuckin hilarious.
I'll take that over a Gay Pride march ANY day, bud.
If only we could combine the two into a Death Race 2000 kind of event.
I buy tickets to that.
Announcer -
"Hornish is coming around the bend, clocking in at 95mph, and the homos are scattering like leaves in a cold November wind! Look at them run-- uh-oh! That burly guy in the pink chiffon number must have new heels on because he is NOT moving fast enough! WHOAAAAH! Hornish takes him down, his razored bumper and cleated wheels making mincemeat out of the man in the skirt, and thanks to the teflon paint job from Maaco Hornish's speed and simple air resistance are making all the blood and gore slide right off of the car and leaving it sparkling clean!"
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:21:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Josephine (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:15:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Boohoo, I have enough money to survive and eat comfortably, but something is not going exactly how I planned and all I wanna do is bitch.
You remind me of Paris Hilton.
-----------------------
Piss off bitch.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:16:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-01 11:59:29 (#)
Ranking: 1
Throw shit out of your window at them.
Submitted by Josephine (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:15:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Boohoo, I have enough money to survive and eat comfortably, but something is not going exactly how I planned and all I wanna do is bitch.
You remind me of Paris Hilton.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:08:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
waaah waaah waaah.
Enjoy the show.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:06:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I would have never guessed, as a boy in Texas, that they have race tracks and "proving grounds" here in Michigan. We just thought of Detroit, and murder.
But. I was a boy. In Texas. What the fuck do you want from me?!??!?!?!??
Submitted by The_Fan (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:05:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Facinating!
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:03:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Non
Athletic
Sport
Centered
Around
Rednecks
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-04-01 12:01:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who you trying to kid? Drink your Bud Light, let your beer gut hang out and ask some chicks to show you their tits.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-04-01 11:59:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Manic knows. We suffer here too.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-01 11:59:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Throw shit out of your window at them.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-04-01 11:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sucks for you dude. Unless those guys are sharing the Natty Light.
I always thought that Indy fans were a higher class of hick (but I know nothing about "Racin'").
Instead of a Monty Carlo against a Taurus, you've got names like Ferari in there. I think.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-04-01 11:59:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't be that bad... Yesterday they were tarring the roof here, and the tar truck was right outside my window... I did get a good buzz going though...
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2005-04-01 11:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
nitemare
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-04-01 11:57:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Happens in Detroit too.