Sense of Confusion (567 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.67 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Spook (View user info) at 2005-04-01 16:29:13 EST
Being the cocky asshole I am, I believe I am always right. Most of the time, I am dead on, but sometimes (usually the worst times) I get have to admit I'm wrong.
Ever been in a region you aren't too familiar with, only to have someone ask for directions? This happened many times today, all with dire consequences. I work at a somewhat large and confusing hospital where I sometimes (constantly) get lost. Not lost in the sense that I will never be found, but lost in the sense where I don't know where certain things are.
Today, a smiling elderly couple asked me where a particular area was in the facility and I completely drew blanks. Since I had my nametag on, I could not avoid the question. Now instead of giving the old douche answer:
"Well, haha. I'm kinda new here." <gives douchy-gayish smile>
I proceeded to do the next best thing: guess.
I sent them across the hall and down the stairs hoping they reached their destination eventually. Out of sight, out of mind.
This proved to be a fatal mistake. A half-hour later, while I was conversing with some contractors about their shoddy work, the couple shambled around the corner into my view. They proceeded to walk up to the group of us, obviously confused. I, of course, played my dumb card once again:
"I'm sorry, I must've given you some horrible directions. I'll send you the easier way...you want to go down to the end of the hall and...."
They shuffled away smiling again. The funny thing is, they weren't irritated at all. I know I usually get extremely pissed off when someone gives my wrong directions. I assumed that it was just some elderly way of being polite to a young moron like myself.
I continued my work with the contractor and headed off to lunch. On my way back to my desk, I saw the smiling old people coming right at me. What the hell are they doing? I sent them the other direction. Are they just wandering the halls? I ducked behind a corner and waited for them to pass. I found the closest nurse station and asked for directions to where these people wanted to go. Audiology or some place, I wasn't listening too well.
I raced at a medium pace frantically looking for the couple. I found them still wandering the halls in their zombie-like state. They didn't even seem to recognize me. This time, I walked them all the way to their destination, making sure they didn't make another lap. Once I had them sitting down, a cute nurse walked up to me.
"Mr. So-and-so's appointment was for 2 hours ago..."
I explained my story, but I left out the part where I gave them the wrong directions twice.
"Well Mr. & Mrs. So-and-so should have an escort. They are clinically diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease."
That explains it!
"Well, I'm just a compassionate citizen looking out for my elders....blah blah blah"
After a few minutes of bullshitting, I'm having lunch with her next week.
I then proceeded to get lost trying to find my way back to the office for lunch.
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-13 12:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66233#1323422
thanks man
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-28 23:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes i know the feeling.It was good.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-02 07:30:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-01 21:29:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Audiology or some place, I wasn't listening too well
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2005-04-01 16:58:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
happens all the time
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-04-01 16:58:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No wonder our health-care system is going down the shitter.
You're fucking around on ubersite while some poor bastard is sitting on an over-flowing bedpan.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-04-01 16:53:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-04-01 16:44:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
typo in the first sentence. oh well, it's quitting time.
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-04-01 16:43:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm not reading all that, but the sign is funny.
Submitted by Josephine (user info) at 2005-04-01 16:42:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Smooth.