My experiences with prostitutes (1177 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.82 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Thor (View user info) at 2005-04-01 22:22:47 EST
My first opportunity to fuck a prostitute occurred in Thailand when I was 15 years old. I was sitting in the back of the Mercedes with my dad, the Australian flag fluttering on the car's front right corner, as faithful Chinda drove us through the streets of Pattaya.
Through the tinted windows the old brute pointed out a very young looking whore in boots and a short skirt. "Would you like to take her home?" he enquired, home being a beach house provided for our use by the Australian Government.
I was shocked. At that age I had a romantic view of the world, and prostitutes seemed somehow wrong. It wasn't something I'd thought about much, but wasn't prostitution some kind of sexist enslavement of women for the pleasure of horrible men that nobody else would root? One thing was certainly clear: there was no Love involved.
I turned my father's offer down, mumbling in an offended tone something about 'not needing to pay for it'. This was rather disingenuous, as I was in fact a virgin. Later that evening, lying alone in my big bed in the beach house, it occurred to me that I may have made a mistake. The whore had been very pretty.
A year later, on my annual visit to Thailand paid for by the Australian Government so I could spend time with my divorced father, I was taken out for the evening by a Thai policeman. This fellow had been taught English in Australia by my mother and, as a mark of respect for his teacher, he wanted to show me a good time. After berserk drinking with his policemen cronies he took me to a brothel.
I was very drunk, and kept thinking how similar the place was to Marineland. The customers looked through little windows shaped like portholes. Rather than marine life, we saw several dozen girls on tiered seating. The policeman didn't seem to understand my giggling references to Marineland, but explained that I should select one of the girls by the numbers pinned to their clothing. I had given up my protests about not wanting to be involved, so peered through the porthole and chose number 27, one of the more chastely dressed girls.
Instructions were conveyed and she soon appeared at my side, took my hand, and led me up stairs and down corridors until we came to our allocated cubicle. I quite liked holding hands with her.
It was a tiny room with a bathtub and a massage table. The girl spoke no English, but seemed to want me to get into the bath. Being drunk, I removed my clothes and complied. She remained fully clothed, which I found a bit disappointing. She then lathered up her delicate little hands and soaped my entire body. Oddly, even though this soaping included my genitals and erogenous zones, I felt no sexual excitement at all. I felt like a patient in a hospital.
After the bath she indicated that I should lie on the massage table. She gave me a back rub, but there was still no sexual excitement and if anything my penis had shriveled. The chance of any erotic mood developing was also diminished by the sporadic intrusions of the policeman. For some reason the door of our cubicle had a little slot in it at head height. Every now and then the policeman would look through this slot and shout unintelligible gibberish apparently intended as drunken camaraderie.
Despite my shriveled penis and the lack of privacy, it did occur to me that this was nevertheless an opportunity to at least touch a girls cunt, something at age 16 I had still failed to achieve, and maybe even have SEX. So I put my hand down the front of the whore's panties. She remained standing quite passively. I felt some pubic hair, but didn't feel anything that resembled what I imagined a vagina would feel like. I think I expected the cunt to be located in much the same spot that a penis is. My courage wained and I withdrew my hand. The girl seemed a bit puzzled, and said something in a questioning tone while giving my shriveled dick a perfunctory sort of fiddle. I translated her remarks as "You want a fuck? But look, your dick is hopelessly limp?"
There was a bit more massaging, then apparently it was time to get dressed.
The policeman was in high spirits. He was disappointed when I reported that there had been no 'jiggy jiggy', but quickly hit upon an explanation that kept him in good cheer: jiggy jiggy had been impossible due to my huge white man's penis! I did not disillusion him.
25 years passed before I again find myself a customer of a prostitute. And on this occasion, my 'huge white man's penis' did in fact enter the whore's (very lovely) vagina.
Some readers, knowing my status as a middle-aged married man, will no doubt now be poised to deliver a vicious minus 2 and a moralising chastisement. Some of you, who perhaps look upon me as a Male Uber Elder role model in the vein of BigMike or McGinny (who as we all know are family men beyond reproach) may just feel sadly disappointed in me.
In my defense, I will only say that at the time visiting a prostitute seemed the best solution to an overwhelming problem.
Nevertheless, even though I had made peace with my moral censors, I felt very shaky and uncomfortable as I approached the two stone lions that guarded the doorway to an establishment in the industrial part of town called Pretty Woman.
To be continued, hopefully in the near future as I know young Wiggles will soon be leaving for Costa Rica where he will face Temptation, and I know that he, like many other young people on uber, looks upon me as a father figure and guiding light.
User Reviews
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-09-27 11:35:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-09-27 11:30:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WheresWally (user info) at 2005-04-03 16:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your experience with whores +2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-04-03 16:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Thor (user info) at 2005-04-01 23:46:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
don't be so hasty wiggles, the next installment might change your mind!
i'd forgotten about that photo.
i guess i don't really mind being a mother figure, but i think you're making a big mistake with your choice of father figure. haven't you seen how that vampire apullo sucks dry everyone he comes into contact with? just the other day he was telling me proudly what a clever invention of his the scat engine is... """"
So NOW you are telling me I didn't invent the scat engine????
MY GOD, KNOW YOU NO SHAME MAN?
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-04-03 12:58:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ahrcee (user info) at 2005-04-03 12:02:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Christ, this is frightening! I am you in a parallel universe, only you have expressed it better than I ever could. I horoughly enjoyed this - thanks.
Submitted by stevendurel (user info) at 2005-04-02 02:22:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not only are your stories captivating, but your writing is also highly exceptional.
Submitted by foodman (user info) at 2005-04-02 00:38:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm only 20, and used to whore it up here in Germany. No shame in it. Different culture, ya know?
When in Rome...
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-04-02 00:24:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You have a unqiue and interesting writing style. I liked it.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-04-01 23:59:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tisk-tisk.
Well written, though. Good story.
Submitted by Thor (user info) at 2005-04-01 23:47:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
does this really read like a teenage fantasy?????
do teenagers fantasise about sexual failure with prostitutes?????
Submitted by Thor (user info) at 2005-04-01 23:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
don't be so hasty wiggles, the next installment might change your mind!
i'd forgotten about that photo.
i guess i don't really mind being a mother figure, but i think you're making a big mistake with your choice of father figure. haven't you seen how that vampire apullo sucks dry everyone he comes into contact with? just the other day he was telling me proudly what a clever invention of his the scat engine is...
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-04-01 23:34:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm quite sure now that I don't want any whores during my trip, but I appreciate the insight. Of course I'm still going to be overwhelmed with curiousity, but my "morals" and fear of disease will almost certainly prevent me from doing anything. Either way, I'm eagerly awaiting the conclusion to this little tale.
I believe you are mistaken, however, about being my Uber-father figure. I had clearly pegged Apollo as my cyber-daddy. http://www.ubersite.com/m/58597
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-04-01 23:26:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2005-04-01 23:18:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
"You want a fuck? But look, your dick is hopelessly limp?"
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
-----------------------------
Dude they were pro's how could you not get it up?
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2005-04-01 23:18:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"You want a fuck? But look, your dick is hopelessly limp?"
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-01 22:58:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"You want a fuck? But look, your dick is hopelessly limp?"
So many memories.
Submitted by Methodius (user info) at 2005-04-01 22:49:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent story, and freebie can go to hell.
Submitted by Dick_Donkeysaber (user info) at 2005-04-01 22:31:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It made me laugh
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-04-01 22:28:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Teenage fantasies hurt my head.