You only get what you ask for! (542 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sphagnum (View user info) at 2005-04-02 11:49:06 EST
"I'm just going to run up the shop and grab something to drink, does anyone want anything while I'm up there?" I asked as the guys sat down for the first break of the morning.
It was one of those days, out in the middle of nowhere, working on a new project with the midsummer sun beating down on us with the wrath of a thousand nuclear holocausts. I was thirsty and there was no way known that I was going to continue the back breaking labour without quenching my insatiable thirst.
Just as I was heading off to jump in the car my boss at the time yelled out "Grab us a packet of Alpine Lights while you are up there can you?"
"Alpine Lights" I thought to myself, what kind of a gay motherfucker smokes menthol cigarettes.
"Yeah, no worries mate. What happens if they don't have any though?" I enquired.
"Just grab me something else." he replied, and with that I was on my way.
Now when I say we were in the middle of nowhere, I mean nowhere. I got back on the main road and headed back in the direction we had come from. I was sure that there was a gas station back there and if my memory served me correctly it wasn't to far away.
Thirty minutes later and I reached the "not to far away" destination and pulled in to one of the many vacant parking spots.
It looked like a Ghost station, everything was dusty and run down and it looked as though it hadn't really been frequented by passers-by since long ago.
I opened the door and went inside, a small radio played a local country and western station at a level that was barely audible. I wandered to the counter of the side and pressed the small bell that had been placed there in the off chance that someone may eventually come to the place and want something.
*ding*, *ding*
"Be with you in a minute!" a laid back old voice came from somewhere at the rear of the store.
An old man who looked to be no younger than 80 slowly made his way from the far end of the counter all the way down so that he stood directly opposite me before he said anything. He gave me a curious look that said "What's a city slicker like you want from laid back country folk like us."
"What can I do for you sonny?" he asked.
"I just came to get a bottle of Coke and a pack of Alpine lights" I replied.
"Sorry kiddo but we are fresh out of Alpine lights."
Fuck! I knew this would happen. I tried to think back to what the boss had said about his alternative choice should I have been needed to explore another option.
I decided upon a selection, picked up my drink and headed for the door. "Thanks old man" I yelled as I exited from whence I came.
After the rather long journey back to the site I parked the car and headed back to the area that we were focusing most of our attention on.
"Where the hell have you been?" the boss bellowed as I turned the corner where all the boys had congregated for the next phase of construction.
"I was up at the shop getting a drink remember? I didn't realise it would take so long, I'm sorry?"
"Did you get me what I asked for?" he had lowered his voice now so that it was not so menacing.
I handed him the light brown bag that I had in my hand and turned to join back in to the task at hand with the other guys.
"Is this some kind of joke?" The boss said, raising his voice for all to hear again.
"Sorry boss, they didn't have any Alpine lights so I did what you asked and got you something else."
I replied with a wry smile.
"When I said get something else I meant get a different kind of cigarettes, not a bloody meat pie you stupid little bastard!"
"Sorry boss, I guess I misunderstood. The shop is about 30 minutes that way if you want to go and exchange it."
And with that I picked up my tool belt and dived back into the fray amid the snickerings and silent applause of the lads.
User Reviews
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-08 14:56:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oops forgot one
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-04 19:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-04-03 08:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought I'd go back to writing stories instead of being inciteful with my posts.
Unfortunately the stories don't get the same response as the crap does.
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2005-04-02 19:31:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sweet, mate.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-02 15:32:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
yep
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-02 13:36:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad, dipshit. Good response.
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2005-04-02 13:26:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
amusing.