I Hit a Light Post Last Night, and Unfortunately I'm Still Alive (725 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.55 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by someone (View user info) at 2005-04-03 11:06:00 EDT
(Not part of my ongoing semi-linked stream of concious writing. Unfortunately...I wish this was fiction.)
God or Shiva or Buddha or Allah or who-the-fuck-ever has been playing tricks on me again, telling me that death is freedom and a press of a gas pedal and a bulls eye on a light post gives me a high shot to heaven or hell or mecca or nirvana, I've forgotten with this drug riddled brain and a now defunct car.
This is the part where I tell you I'm going to shape up. Wednesday I quit cigarettes, and amazingly I haven't had one yet, quit cold turkey and actually found quit a bit of pleasure when my weak body twisted and squirmed, screaming at my for a nicotine fix for a moment of temporary bliss, where nothing else matters because for perhaps just five minutes I've got happiness in the form of Marlboro. I'm smoking pot maybe...once or twice a week now, which is for me is true progress, because every day used to start and end with a bowl and a cigarette. I've got neither now and I'm still managing to cope with this disaster.
But I can't quit the booze. It seems every day without pot or cigarettes this whisky glass is getting larger and the side effects of my brain on cloudy alcohol are most devastating. I'm suicidal, mentally instable, and brilliant, if that makes sense. It's not like I'm trying to go straight edge and get my high from magic marker 'X' marks seeping into my skin and telling me 'ok lets give this one more shot', no it's not like that at all, it's just that my demons are getting to large to contain and I need a shot at sobriety if I want to cope. Also I need to finish this semester strong so I can move on and get in line for this 'life' game, I hear it's pretty rough and already I'm barely qualifying so I gotta give this a go before I blast off toward conformity. Then, once I've settled in, I can drink Prozac and Miller Light cocktails and count down the days until retirement.
This is the part where I tell you I'm not drinking any more for one solid month. I told myself that this morning, over coffee and fifteen solid minutes staring at my car sitting in the driveway smiling (or scowling, I can't tell) at me with a chin that's dragging far to low and two eyes that are hanging at the sockets now.
I think this is the part where you think you don't care, and really, neither do I, this is just a moment of an existence that is about as significant as a speck of sand on an eternal beach.
User Reviews
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-04-03 22:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ihurtFeellings (user info) at 2005-04-03 18:26:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
By the way, how bad do you suck that you can't even kill yours
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Is this a joke or is this guy really this stupid? I was drinking and driving, passed out and hit a street light...Stupid? Yes, but I didn't try to kill myself, so please refrain from sounding any more like the ignorant peon you are.
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-04-03 18:45:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel your pain.
Submitted by ihurtFeellings (user info) at 2005-04-03 18:26:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
By the way, how bad do you suck that you can't even kill yourself?
Submitted by ihurtFeellings (user info) at 2005-04-03 18:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You need to castrate yourself so you don't contaminate future generations with your weak minded self pity.
Whiney bitch.
I guess I missed the part where your life is terrible.
This is the part where is click minus 2.
Submitted by ChesterTheJester (user info) at 2005-04-03 16:32:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
do it right... use a gun
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2005-04-03 16:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-03 15:51:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hit a tree once when I slipped on an icy road. Hardly any damage, I was surprised.
+2 for the title. Good post.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-04-03 15:36:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
get some real fucking help before you kill someone, dipshit.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-04-03 12:53:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great writing.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-04-03 12:16:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Some random notes on my life: February 2nd was my birthday. Since then (I turned 21) my bank account has dwindled down to three digits, one of my friends spent a week in a mental institution (this was terrible), two of my friends have pretty much totally conformed into societies standards, and meanwhile, I'm this helpless spectator to all this madness, whisky in one hand and pen in the other, watching my whole life drown. Seriously, despite all this angsty bullshit, I've been writing like I'm going to die next week or tommorrow or today or in five minutes or whatever. This piece right here isn't even the tip of the iceberg, it's more like the helicopter circling overhead. Thanks for the encouragement guys.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-04-03 12:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What Faithless said. Good work. And good luck.
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-04-03 11:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, due to your great writing style...I found that I do care.
Submitted by CLAIRE1 (user info) at 2005-04-03 11:29:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rent a heap. If you still have insurance after last nights little endeaver.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-04-03 11:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm just happy I didn't hurt anyone. But it sucks, because now I have to ask my parents for help, with is both humbling and depressing. I need to have a car, and there can be no other option.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-04-03 11:23:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sing it with me: Keep on rockin in the freeee world!
Submitted by CLAIRE1 (user info) at 2005-04-03 11:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I clipped a tree drunk. It is an eye opener. Although it just taght me not to drink and drive. I still drink.