There is a piece of toilet paper in my desk drawer. (771 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.33 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by EbolaMay (View user info) at 2005-04-03 21:22:00 EDT
As well as a few empty vodka bottles. (By the way, this weekend I learned that the original Russian for Vodka translates into "Water of Life." No wonder those bastards lost the cold war.)
But it's the toilet paper that's got me concerned. It's not a roll. It's a bunched up wad. Probably about 20 preforated of those single pieces. And, really, who uses one or two sheets to wipe their ass? I dunno about you, but I grab the end of the roll, give it a good yank, wad it up, yank it again, wad THAT up, yank it once more, rip it off, do my biddness, then proceed to clog the commode. But that's another story.
How did it get there? Why is there? Who put it there? Is there a hidden message to the toilet paper? Is someone trying to tell me something? Because I KNOW for a FACT that I did not drop, put, apply, lose or in any other way, shape or form leave toilet paper in my desk drawer.
Does my ass stink?
Could it be there is a doppling of cornshit on my chair, eroding my surroundings?
Just checked, and the answer is no.
So like life, the answers to the toilet wad in my desk drawer will probably forever elude me. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Go to my business associates and say, "Er, ahem. Excuse me, folks. Anybody know how this toilet paper got in my desk drawer?"
How do you maintain credibility and respectability when posing such a question? You don't.
On the other hand, if I ignore the toilet paper in my desk drawer, people will forever snicker behind my back. "Tee-hee-hee. Ebola never had the guts to mention the toilet paper in his desk drawer. Tee-hee-hee." And you can bet that eventually another wad of toilet paper would show up in there.
Poor me. I feel like Dutch on "The Shield." Speaking of which, why do they give poor Dutch such a hard time on "The Shield?" Yeah he's a dork, but he's a pretty damned good dork and good dorks are hard to find.
Well that's it for today, Uberlings. If you know anything about the toilet paper in my desk drawer, I urge you to contact the F.B.I. or the C.I.A. or at least your local police department A.S.A.P. But leave Dutch alone. He's got enough on his plate.
User Reviews
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-04 08:09:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by NocternalDragon (user info) at 2005-04-04 01:53:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by carolrichards (user info) at 2005-04-03 22:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Aitsu (user info) at 2005-04-03 21:52:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-04-03 21:35:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Have a roommate? Does he like porn?
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-04-03 21:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When did Jocko fuck me the first time? And was that revenge for the photograph, Manic?
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-04-03 21:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I put it there using only the power of my mind. Pretty good, eh?
Submitted by Jocko_Johnson (user info) at 2005-04-03 21:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
RFUCK YOU