Princess Diana Meets Camille Parker Bowles (803 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.95 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Maximus Padus (View user info) at 2005-04-04 11:34:07 EDT
"We gather here today to celebrate unity between Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles, in holy matrimony and in good spirit."
Time froze.
This horror travelled from sea level to heaven. 1116ft/sec. 5280 feet in a mile.
She heard it in 4.73 seconds and laid no time to waste. With that, she jumped into her Mechanized SlutBasher. She set the elevation level to 0 feet, and opened the parachute early, to reflect on the situation. She knew the day would come, when that fuckface Charles would re-marry. It was no offense to her, the whole world loved her more than him, that swine. It was just for her dignity and love for her fans. How would he expect to marry a bag of bones without an unannounced visit from Diana v2.0?
"Incoming...Windsor Town Hall@15 seconds, approach with caution." her Mech HUD displayed. She hit the any key and the message disappeared. The mech descended to the ground and touched down gracefully.
Time continues.
She was positioned right outside the front gate, which left her to immediately disengage the confused, alarmed guards. She pressed the any key and an American flag shot out and consumed both guards, without the flag touching the earth. The mech stormed through the gate, and on towards the wedding.
Members of the small wedding were STUPIFIED. Some ran, some collapsed in disbelief, and some ran up to the mech in joy for their resurrected friend. The groom had a authentic look on his face, relating to an Evil Doer's expression when he finds out the Hero is still alive. The bride, shocked that her plans were obviously being cancelled, thought of this as a possibility to the day's events. There would be NOTHING stopping this woman from entering the Royal Family, not even some stupid bitch with short hair. She was fidgeting inside her wedding dress and pulled out a sawed-off shotgun holding 2 shots. She held it out and shot at the Mechanized SlutBasher, but to no avail. She shot 1 more time at the cockpit, only to send claymore in the direction of her guests. Diana pressed the any key, and she ejected out. She walked slowly toward The Rottweiler, and before taking action, she said one thing:
"It must be hell for both of you but I know what's going on. Don't treat me like an idiot."
"Ha! You stupid bitch. Charles is mine, and there isn't a goddamned thing you, or Charles' mother can do about it."
Out of nowhere, a mercedes benz with Dodi and his bodyguards came swerving out of the horizon and clipped Charles and Camille. Both of them were sent flying into a tree above, battered and bloody. Dodi and his lackeys jumped out, stumbled around and laid down on the concrete.
"What the fuck Dodi! Always killing people with your bodyguard's inability to drive while wasted." Wtf.
"Sorry, belle. I've been looking for you! I need to know where the pub is. I was just there, but I need to know where it is at."
"Follow me, " she said as she jumped into her Mechanized SlutBasher and pressed the any key.
User Reviews
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-04-04 16:02:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WoW! Kai's +2 countered Shlongy's -2! Who would have thought.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-04 15:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is worse than I originally thought, Pinnochio.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-04-04 15:00:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EASILY the best thing Steven Durel has EVER written!
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-04-04 12:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
now what is the point of a No Comment with a 0 rating? Atleast come back and give me your -2 you were intending.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-04 12:51:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-04 12:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-04 12:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Huh?
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-04-04 12:25:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was amused by this. I'd be more amused if I were high while reading it.
Submitted by Zackstersmackster (user info) at 2005-04-04 12:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was pretty funny, but I have to wonder how baked you were when you wrote this.
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-04-04 11:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good concept, poorly executed.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-04 11:42:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude.... please get back on the meds.
+2 for insane people!!
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-04-04 11:41:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think this would be better if it wasn't written...with words...on this site.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-04-04 11:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's...well...yeah.
Nice.