My Favorite Birth Control Method (1687 hits)
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Submitted by Godless (View user info) at 2005-04-04 17:35:54 EDT
The Pull Out
Condoms suck, nothing more to it. Maybe its because Im cut or maybe Im just not sensitive enough to enjoy sex with a rubber, but in general, its something I have given up (I am ocasionally forced to use a condom or not have sex and I end up choosing the rain jacket). Many people advocate condoms as a means of STD prevention. They have a valid point, but I have a valid (allbeit sexist) answer. The truth of the matter is women are much more likely to contract an STD during a sexual encounter than a man. Any doctor will confirm this and the reason is simple, the vagina is a much bigger receptacle than the opening to the eurethra, and better yet, during the act of procreation the vagina is the recipient of bodily fluid and the penis the provider (man's nature is to give generously), for this reason women are much more likely to contract STDs and I have a little bit less to worry about. There you have them, my reasons not to use condoms.
Now I am a big fan of the pill, but lets analyze its failures. Failure number 1, you pretty much have to trust your partner. Second, assuming you are using it with a girlfriend, chances are she's going to put on a few pounds, and your going to have to put up with that. Third, its expensive. Fourth, if you take antibiotics it doesn't work. Sixth, you have to start taking it almost a week in advance before it takes affect. The pill is an excellent method but it really is more for girlfriends and skinny chicks.
The "morning after" pill, this is also an excellent method of birth control, it is basically the equivalent of a months supply of birth control taken orally the morning after, hence the name. Only real problems are it costs money, and because it tends to make women extremely sick they are not inclined to use it as a preffered method.
I will not discuss, the diaphragm, the sponge, spermicide (seems a lot like genocide, gene-o-cide, gene a.k.a. sperm) these contraceptives bore me, are not common and frankly I don't know much about them.
Finally my preffered method of birth control is the pull out. Its free, it can be used at the spur of the moment, it makes her stomach, face, tits, etc. look pretty, and simply by having removed yourself from her, the act of sex is terminated with your orgasm. I am reminded of a timeless joke. Q. How do you make a woman cum? A. Who cares.
There you have it Ubersite, several excellent reasons to use my preffered method of birth control, and many reasons to avoid the other methods. Just here to help out. Worst comes to worse and by the devils miracle she gets pregnate, call her a whore and deny patriage.
-Godless
Disclaimer-
For all the sexist shit I spew on here ladies, I really do love each and everyone of you (applies only to my definition of lady), Women should not really be hit, abused, or maltreated in any shape or form. Women should be left to be free, artistic, creative, sexy and independent minded. Also, I am aware that pre-cum can still impregnate someone, but I personally have not suffered that bad luck due to a tough regimen of drinking and weed smoking which I believe is rendering my boys temporarily incapacitated (I hope temporarily).
P.S. I would apreciate sugestions for a future topic.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sachi (user info) at 2005-04-06 08:43:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Again you show yourself to be a Idiot.
but keep up the job of screwing "skanks"
because like playing the slot machine....you "Will Get an STD"
and Maybe Aids...Currently, risk reduction options when performing oral sex on a man (fellatio) include the use of latex condoms, but also include withdrawal before ejaculation without a condom (avoiding semen in the mouth) and/or refraining from this activity when cuts or sores are present in the mouth.
Worldwide: UNAIDS estimates that 47.3 million people have been infected with HIV since the start of the global epidemic (42.9 million adults and 4.4 million children under 15). An estimated 13.9 million people have died with AIDS since the epidemic began (10.7 million adults and 3.2 million children under 15).
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-04-06 08:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
duherragoweashhh
Submitted by snarf (user info) at 2005-04-05 11:12:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Billy Connolly on the rhythm method and withdrawal:
"When I'm about to come, there's not a herd of wild f**king horses could make my arse go in THAT [pointing backwards] direction..."
too true billy, too true......
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-04-05 11:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no sex education at your school then?
Submitted by canadia (user info) at 2005-04-05 10:59:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
condoms suck!
I'm glad I don't have to use them anymore
and I'm a girl
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2005-04-05 10:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have used the pullout method EXCLUSIVELY for the past 7 years. I do have one child, but wouldn't you know it, that happened when I didn't pull out.
And ooooh how I love the distance-ejaculation field event held on my lady's midsection (and sometimes her face or the wall behind her).
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-05 10:47:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's because of people like you that this planet is horribly overpopulated with retards.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-05 10:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a woman can still become pregnant and catch std's from the pull out method.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-05 01:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Deep.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:24:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, you're right about my sampling error. Still, I think that having sex with numerous partners w/o the use of condoms is like playing with matches next to a full gas can.
But like I said, I'm silly that way.
Submitted by Godless (user info) at 2005-04-04 21:50:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-04-04 21:10:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, you may want to rethink this! I work at a hospital and you wouldn't believe the number of men who have to go to the ER because their dicks are leaking puss and they can't urinate without the sensation of hot razors slicing up their urethra.
When asked, they tell the Doc about screwing some skanky girl without a condom.
I think there might be a connection there.
Then again, I may just be silly.
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People come to a hospital when shit is fucked up, the vast majority are fine and do not go to the hospital to have their penises checked. Your subjective personal survey suffers from self selecting sample bias, it would be the major critizism if you were to publish a study based on such observations. But forensic girl, you do allways seem to be able to at least make a level headed response to the horrible things I put on here.
-Godless
Submitted by Godless (user info) at 2005-04-04 21:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-04 17:56:11 (#)
Ranking: -1
I bet you can't wait to actually have that opportunity at USING thise particular method, eh?
"Pulling out", in mid-masturbation stroke isn't really the same thing.
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-03 15:09:57 (#)
Ranking: 1
This was kind of funny, actually.
What I really enjoy is the guys who NEVER get any pussy, being able to write about it like they're experts in the
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This loser seems to think no one is having sex. HaHaHa, Project your personal experiences somewhere else wanker.
-Godless
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-04-04 21:10:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, you may want to rethink this! I work at a hospital and you wouldn't believe the number of men who have to go to the ER because their dicks are leaking puss and they can't urinate without the sensation of hot razors slicing up their urethra.
When asked, they tell the Doc about screwing some skanky girl without a condom.
I think there might be a connection there.
Then again, I may just be silly.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-04-04 20:55:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A +2 for me stealing your title.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2005-04-04 20:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-04-04 18:45:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Condoms suck; your post was barely legible.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-04 18:31:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
indeed, condoms are teh suck
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-04 18:19:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I would have thought you preferred 'swallowing', but hey I guess this works for you too!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-04 18:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-4 because Canuckfan is obviously a fag - a high school emo fag at that - and doesn't even understand what this post is about.
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-04-04 18:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because shlongy has wayyyy too much time on his hands
and it was a great post
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-04 18:06:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Methodius (user info) at 2005-04-04 17:59:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 to balance out Shlongy's ignorance.
-3 to cancel out some insignificant dipshits' response to, well, me.
Submitted by Duke_Diggler (user info) at 2005-04-04 18:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shlongy uses the pull out method when he's fucking elton john in the ass. hahahahahahahahhaha
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-04 18:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome. Dont they have some little rod a girl can have implanted in her arm that will keep her baby-free for five or so years? I think that would be my favorite. As long as I'm not paying for it, at least.
Submitted by Methodius (user info) at 2005-04-04 17:59:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 to balance out Shlongy's ignorance.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-04 17:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I bet you can't wait to actually have that opportunity at USING thise particular method, eh?
"Pulling out", in mid-masturbation stroke isn't really the same thing.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-04-04 17:55:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
can anyone say Russian Roulette?
damn.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-04-04 17:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by David.Federman (user info) at 2005-04-04 17:48:44 (#)
Ranking: 1
Pull out is a great method if you are a guy who control his penis. Some idiots can't tell when they are cumming or can't hold it back for a second or two.
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Just because they tell you that they came in your mouth cause they dont know when they are about to cum doesnt mean that they dont know, it just means that they didnt tell you.
I have used that excuse if I knew the bitch wasnt gonna guzzle the shit down, it goes like this:
"Sorry baby, it was just so good that it happened all of a sudden and I didnt know it was coming"
HA, I BUSTED ALL OVER YOUR FACE BITCH
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-04 17:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for anal sex.
Submitted by David.Federman (user info) at 2005-04-04 17:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pull out is a great method if you are a guy who control his penis. Some idiots can't tell when they are cumming or can't hold it back for a second or two.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-04-04 17:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My Favourite Birth Control Method:
Anal sex. Last time I checked no girl has gotten pregnant from ass loving.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-04 17:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Go pull out method!!! wooo!
Idea's for future posts. Print out all your posts and let your mother read them. Then submit either pictures of your fractured face or a shot of you mother, after receiving...well a shot.
SPLUUUGE!!!
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-04-04 17:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree fully, there is nothing better than the "pull out and bust on the chin approach"
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-04 17:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good luck with that.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-04 17:39:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the first paragraph is fucking funny