Retrosexual and proud (872 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.88 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by rick_the_stud (View user info) at 2005-04-04 22:22:00 EDT
I've seen a few posts lately filled with the typical "male chauvinist pig" attitude and while I can play some of them off as mere banter, others as (decidedly weak) attempts at most-heated, and others as "alter-ego devil's advocate-ism," I'm actually toying with the idea that some of these posts are the true beleifs of uber users. By the same token, this feminist bullshit has got to go, too.
And so I humbly submit my solution: the retrosexual.
The retrosexual, by definition, is a guy who acts like a guy is supposed to act; that is to say, like a guy. The retrosexual does not spend more than 2 minutes, collectively, in front of a mirror on any given day. Further, he watches football games and drinks alcohol. He brings home the bacon. He has a fascination with (the OPPOSITE!) sex.
However, he also, as any good gentleman does, practices a certain amount of gentility. He will hold the door open for a lady, and help his mom/grandma out by mowing the yard. He will love his wife/girlfriend/significant other. He will fix a leaky faucet.
In turn for this, there are some expectations: the retrosexual will in no way be expected to have a "fashion sense." (please note: ladies, as much as you may try or hope, guys were never meant to be metrosexuals, and while I'm oft informed that you find such behavior sexually attractive, you'll just have to get the hell over it.) the retrosexual's mom/grandma will make him cookies, loan him $20 bucks, invite him to have some dinner, etc. in return for his services. His wife/girlfriend will do his laundry and cook every so often.
It's that simple. Males are allowed to act like males and females the same for their respective gender. This hole "metrosexual" business is stupid. Guys will never be that way. The chauvinist thing is ridiculous, too, because eventually every guy realizes that by the time you're 45, women really aren't going to put out for you unless you've already matured enough to respect them and get married. And all you feminists can go to hell. Equality is basically here, stop agitating for inequality in your favor. If you want a career, that's great. But for the love of god, if you are attracted to assholes who treat you like shit, you better learn to deal with that.
In conclusion: feminists, metrosexuals, and chauvinists need to shut the hell up. Males can be true to their nature and still be decent human beings and also expect a little in return without being regarded as assholes.
(I have a feeling I wasn't really convincing and rambled a lot, but, meh....do with it what you will.)
User Reviews
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-04-05 16:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jojojojoan (user info) at 2005-04-05 12:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by myredmirage95 (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:58:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is how guys SHOULD be. If I wanted a pussy, I would become a lesbian.
Submitted by myredmirage95 (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:58:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is how guys SHOULD be. If I wanted a pussy, I would become a lesbian.
Submitted by myredmirage95 (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:58:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is how guys SHOULD be. If I wanted a pussy, I would become a lesbian.
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I second, third and fourth that!!!
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-04-05 12:09:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well said
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-05 12:08:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes! Right on and thank you.
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2005-04-05 11:50:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-05 11:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Metrosexual" is just another word for "vain and/or queer." No thanks.
Submitted by CJRipley (user info) at 2005-04-05 08:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CJRipley (user info) at 2005-04-05 08:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by myredmirage95 (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:58:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is how guys SHOULD be. If I wanted a pussy, I would become a lesbian.
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Spot on!
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-04-05 08:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This just reminded me of a stroy I saw recently. Apparently they are opening spas for men only where guys can get facials, pedicures and manicures with no women around. This takes away the one and only reason a hetero guy would do this, to meet chicks.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-04-05 08:03:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sarcasticus (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:40:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Instead of retrosexual, why not call yourself a man? Cause lemme tell ya, any guy who wastes his money on pedicures and facials and $40 hair-care products isn't a man.
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-04-05 06:02:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:11:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for chivalry.
Submitted by Godless (user info) at 2005-04-05 05:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I spend way more than 2 minutes in the mirror. I am fucking beautiful. HaHa Uberwankers
-Godless
Submitted by absolutzero (user info) at 2005-04-05 05:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Retrosexual.....Good Word...GooD thoughts and a wonderfully good post.
+2 , 'coz can't give no more.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-04-05 04:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
retrosexual..nice word.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-05 02:37:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:11:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for chivalry.
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I hate when a man does something chvalrous and feminists bitch about it. Damn them!
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-04-05 02:14:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fair enough, marry me. I'll turn all your whites pink, if you know what I mean.
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't wait to see what Carol thinks!
Submitted by getyourvoltronon (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well said.
Submitted by Kamargo (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:00:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bra-fuckin'-vo
I couldn't agree more with you
Submitted by myredmirage95 (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is how guys SHOULD be. If I wanted a pussy, I would become a lesbian.
Submitted by Sarcasticus (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:40:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Instead of retrosexual, why not call yourself a man? Cause lemme tell ya, any guy who wastes his money on pedicures and facials and $40 hair-care products isn't a man.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for chivalry.
Submitted by Mothball9000 (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Couldn't have put it better myself.
Submitted by rick_the_stud (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am rick_the_stud, once known as "mike schlotzsky," but only for a few days. I've only got a couple other posts:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63109
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63087
Submitted by haeftmece (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:35:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This hole "metrosexual" business
Had to give it a +2 just cause of that. Was "hole" used purposefully?
God I'm sophomoric.
Submitted by r1nce (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Agreed.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:30:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
amen!
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:29:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree, who *are* you?