Hippos don't swallow (NSFW) (4694 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.62 on 122 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Shandythedog (View user info) at 2005-04-04 22:50:24 EDT
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 12:32:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
vNominated for best ever
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88572
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-05-31 17:39:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-24 05:12:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2005-11-24 04:27:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
That was wrong on so many levels.
=====================
name more than one.
--------------
Disrespect of ones personal property
Indirect defiling of St Augustine: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Augustine_of_Hippo
Public indecency
Corruption of the young/weak minded/self
Rape
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-11-24 06:21:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not enough 2 on the keyboard
Your stock just went up...
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-24 05:12:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2005-11-24 04:27:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
That was wrong on so many levels.
=====================
name more than one.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-11-24 04:53:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You sicken me.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-11-24 04:43:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-11-24 04:37:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hippo bitch
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2005-11-24 04:27:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That was wrong on so many levels.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-11-24 03:37:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
actually, it is magnificent
many primative peoples have built statues and images in it's likeness
it is the archetype perfect cock head.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-11-24 03:22:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your cockhead is odd
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-10-06 10:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ProgramGeek (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-15 13:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-05-12 14:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by UberGirl (user info) at 2005-05-07 04:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you are one strange person.
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2005-04-08 07:27:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant use of candlewax. (Don't try and fool me, I know what both look like, and that's wax.)
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-04-07 22:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not sure how to respond to this, so YOU ROCK
Submitted by Bayley (user info) at 2005-04-07 18:05:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe what I've just seen...
I think you might be my hero.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-04-07 17:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i puked.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-04-07 08:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH MY GOD!!!
This cracked me up.
and the responses to Mystia are gold.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-07 06:34:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Money shot.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-07 05:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:02:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
looks like mystia has some kind of hang-up about swallowing
-=-=-=-=--==-=-=
HAHAHAHAHAH
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-07 04:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually poly, i must post a close up from that second pic. at full magnification, the jism dribbling on cutie pie's grimey surface is a sight to behold.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-04-06 20:04:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe you got Most Heated with this.
hahahaha
I keep laughing even harder because I picture you feverishly washing the hippo of any left-over jizm on it before the wife or boy finds it.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-04-06 19:56:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hippo=pwned
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2005-04-06 19:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-04-06 14:49:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:08:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
I feel sad because as a guy you will probably not even wipe that hippo off. You will just wait until it drys and stick it back in your sisters room.
Submitted by Heathers (user info) at 2005-04-06 12:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Really, just wrong.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-06 12:42:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I found this really disturbing.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-04-06 12:35:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, man, that is some fucked up, funny stuff. I puked a little.
Submitted by ahrcee (user info) at 2005-04-06 12:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Okay, so she didn't swallow, but give her another chance - could her mouth BE any further open?!
And she's a real cutie, ain't she?
Submitted by dethcow (user info) at 2005-04-06 11:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-06 11:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
With the Patriot Act they could inspect his anus without him knowing then kill his entire family...
Twice.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2005-04-06 08:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
wow....so you're blowing your load on kids toys...
Amber Alert...Megans Law...
Hide your IP dude!
With the patriot act they can proabbly arrest you for this....or at least hold you in jail for months with no counsel.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-04-06 07:08:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
it's something to tell the grandkids i guess
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2005-04-06 01:10:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't know how to feel about this...
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-04-05 22:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You couldn't have waited until Bart got back and fixed the hits thing, could you? I understand.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-04-05 22:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, that was prety fucking funny.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-04-05 20:07:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
electro1178: some sick bastard on ubersite likes to jerk off onto toys. I mean actual, 3-yr old preschool like toys...
electro1178: people are just fucked up.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-05 19:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm disgusted, yet thoroughly intrigued.
Submitted by Vanni_Fresco (user info) at 2005-04-05 19:48:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Horrible.
Submitted by Duke_Diggler (user info) at 2005-04-05 19:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by TenYears_Gone (user info) at 2005-04-05 19:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Three letters: Ugh.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-04-05 19:10:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bwahahahahahahayouperv!ahahahahhaha*gaspsnort*hahahahahhaha
oh man
the hippo has caught teh HIV!
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-04-05 19:01:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is horrible...
The reviews made me laugh, but you can't rate the reviews.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-04-05 18:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do that to electro next time. Except use a revolver.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-04-05 18:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You jerk off onto toys?
Dude... WHAT in the heelll is wrong with j00?
http://crapoartworks.frandt.com/Yourpost/Results.html
*HONK*
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-05 18:25:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you. +2 isn't enough.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-04-05 18:24:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What
The
Fuck
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-04-05 18:19:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is deserving of my 1,000th review.
Congrats!
I have an old Pound Puppy and a Gloworm if you are into Toy-Swapping.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-04-05 18:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's fucking disgusting but...fuck that's got to take some serious timing skills.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-05 18:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cookie lass, the reasons are complex, but the yawning mouth of miss hippo did mark her out for special attention.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-04-05 17:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Your hippo is giving me the bedroom eyes.
I want to know the definative answer to this: did you think to yourself "I should whack it on a knick knack" and then go find the hippo? Or did you see the hippo and think to yourself, "She needs a healthy dose of man-goo all over that little pink mouth"?
Which was it? Chicken or the egg?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-05 16:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
monseiur prickle!!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-04-05 16:11:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that's just some stupid squirt gun he has in the shape of a penis, it's not real.
Fess up, you hairy baboon
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-04-05 15:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
By the Hammer of Thor this is just fucked. And you have a weak load.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-04-05 14:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Nothing personal, but I simply cannot encourage this type of behavior.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-04-05 14:33:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You hold the camera remarkable still while jerking off, lots of practice??
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-04-05 14:26:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That is disgusting.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-04-05 11:43:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The replies of horror make this all the funnier.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-04-05 11:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what the fuck is wrong with you?
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2005-04-05 11:37:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
jesus marimba!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-05 11:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck? that's twice on this post a +2 noo comment has not gone through... maybe this will work
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-05 11:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A straight 0 didn't convey my feelings enough.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-05 11:28:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-04-05 11:16:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for sheer randomness
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-04-05 11:11:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did i laugh till i vomited?
No, tell me.
Submitted by gabrielpm (user info) at 2005-04-05 10:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bold and provocative deconstruction of necrophilian zoophilia!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-05 09:39:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Me ken brechen!
Submitted by Calios (user info) at 2005-04-05 09:07:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-04-05 06:55:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Gosh. golly. Goodness gracious for crying out loud in a bucket oh my for fuck's sake.
Shandy, you're either my hero, or my worst nightmare...
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2005-04-05 08:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Auto -2 for scaring me.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-04-05 07:46:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-04-05 01:18:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
You should do a whole series.
Jacking off on children's toys.
It would be fucking spectacular!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Congratulations, Shandy, you've just outed kaos_king as Uber's answer to Michael Jackson. There's one in every crowd..
You really LOVE toys, don't you?
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-04-05 06:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gosh. golly. Goodness gracious for crying out loud in a bucket oh my for fuck's sake.
Shandy, you're either my hero, or my worst nightmare...
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-05 06:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
also forensic girl, there is a kind of sporty challenge to this - it's not easty and involves split second timing.
you will notice that, in common with mr prickle, i actually capture my second volley of ejaculate in flight, not the first as i intended.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-05 06:28:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
apollo, immininetly odl chap, immininetly
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-05 06:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:59:04 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm just wondering what was going through your mind before this scene happened.
Were you like; "What to do? What to do? Perhaps I will find a ceramic hippo and masturbate over it until ejaculation and then photograph it. Yes, that seems like a worthwhile way to spend a few minutes."
or was this just one of those things guys do when home alone? No planning, it just....happens.
Enlighten me please.
----
good question
my, erm, flatmate mr prickle began this artistic trend in his famous Ascent of Man series: http://www.ubersite.com/m/36339 (nsfw)
i believe he was inspired in part by the purchase of a brand new digital camera, and a charles bukowski story. the use of figurines, though, seems to be entirely original and i cannot imagine what mental condition led to that. some form of arrested development, i would assume.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-04-05 06:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'kin 'ell.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-04-05 06:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I choose 'disturbingly ambiguous'
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-04-05 04:21:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
makes me want to go to toys r us and...
i better not finish that sentance.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-04-05 04:10:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<ejaculates>
p.s., where is your mohk stuff?
Submitted by Walrus_King (user info) at 2005-04-05 04:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Plus 1 for the skill man, but seriously what the fuck is wrong with you?
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-04-05 03:54:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wont be sleeping tonight.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-04-05 03:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know whether to applaud or vomit, so I will do both.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-04-05 03:12:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're sick.
But I laughed, so what does that make me?
Submitted by Winchester (user info) at 2005-04-05 03:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You fuck'n disturbed piece of shit.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-05 02:52:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
that is the sickest, yet funniest, thing I've ever seen.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-04-05 02:38:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ugh, fucking disgusting.
Submitted by Godless (user info) at 2005-04-05 02:32:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats fucking gross, but I find myself laughing. Hippos don't swallow, I get it, HaHaHa. Wow your pretty ballsy to actually put a picture of you jerking yourself off on the internet. Maybe you would like some of my posts. Dont worry I won't link whore it. But wow your humor is on my level.
-Godless
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-04-05 02:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
so this is your camwhore for the directory.
at least your weren't flipping us off while you ejaculated.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-04-05 01:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-04-05 01:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So wrong...or RIGHT? LMAO.
No, wrong.
I'm drunk.
Okay, I lied.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-05 01:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I respect that.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-05 01:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I stared in disgust, then bursted into laughter. You're a sick being.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-04-05 01:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
They don't fake orgasms, either.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-04-05 01:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should do a whole series.
Jacking off on children's toys.
It would be fucking spectacular!
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-04-05 01:12:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So very wrong. So, so very wrong. Why can't I stop laughing?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm just wondering what was going through your mind before this scene happened.
Were you like; "What to do? What to do? Perhaps I will find a ceramic hippo and masturbate over it until ejaculation and then photograph it. Yes, that seems like a worthwhile way to spend a few minutes."
or was this just one of those things guys do when home alone? No planning, it just....happens.
Enlighten me please.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:31:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
ok, i confess, it is fake: it's not a real hippo
she's ceramic, made in japan.
--------------------------------------------
Hilarious. The post is kind of ucky though. Why are you jerking off to a toy hippo?
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:41:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
damian - i try to avoid the concept of 'ownership' in my relationships
mystia - well, no one could accuse you of arrogance in your posting.
also, as you can see, some people, perhaps more sexually together than you, DO enjoy this kind of thing.
and do you have any idea of the kind of incredible SKILL needed to pull this off? (so to speak)
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There's no hang up here. This is the second time you have posted the end result of you jacking off and it's a bit arrogant to presume that ANYONE cares to see you shooting your wad all over knick knacks or worse, your childs toys.
I find you disgusting, it's my right.
Submitted by DamianD (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:30:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I hope the hippo belongs to you.
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:22:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
By far, the best thing ever.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually, i rushed to post this a bit too hastilly
i should have included a preliminary pic of the hippo from a side angle, prior to recieving my money shot.
she looks very sweet, lying on her back with her fat little body and her gaping mouth
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
corn, i'm glad you thought my cum was 'worth reading'
'kicker of all ass' would have been quite inappropriate, as i'm not a back door man
'made me smile' would have been disturbigly ambigous
'i've seen better' would have been hard to believe
and 'don't bother' would have suggested you suffered some kind of sexual hangup, like poor mystia.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:04:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shandy, how could I resist commenting on your cum?
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
looks like mystia has some kind of hang-up about swallowing
Submitted by kochier (user info) at 2005-04-05 00:02:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU KICK ASS YOU FUCKING KICK ASS
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what the fuck is wrong with you, dude?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:49:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:31:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
ok, i confess, it is fake: it's not a real hippo
she's ceramic, made in japan.
-----------------------------
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:18:54 (#)
Ranking: 1
tell me that's fake
----------------------------------------------------------
This is where I started to choke on my cigarette from laughter...
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:31:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ok, i confess, it is fake: it's not a real hippo
she's ceramic, made in japan.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:18:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
tell me that's fake
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:10:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bitch don't swallow, why should i wipe her?
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-04-04 23:08:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I feel sad because as a guy you will probably not even wipe that hippo off. You will just wait until it drys and stick it back in your sisters room.
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:59:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you make me sick
(242)-534-2291
I like assplay
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:56:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
corn! i finally drew a review out of you
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is my cutie pie part of some board game?
i just found her lying around the house, and fell in love
Submitted by project_nessa (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't know if Im grossed out or turned on.
Submitted by smoke_in_my_lungs (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
small penis...
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:53:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SHANDYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
jesus christ man.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:51:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
apologies for second post today, i just could'nt contain my excitement at my second success in this photographic genre.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:51:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
gah!
Submitted by Mothball9000 (user info) at 2005-04-04 22:51:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for the effort, +1 for the use of an awsome board game, -1 for choosing the pink hippo. Orange was the most badass by far.