I do indeed enjoy the large, pulsating monkey cock. (1637 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 0.15 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MasochisticMole (View user info) at 2005-04-06 00:23:19 EDT
There's nothing I love more than to come home after a long, hard day of work and bring my silverback monkey up from the basement. That's when the fun begins.
You see friends, I am a semen-receptacle; a cum-dumpster if you will, for monkey love snot. I simply adore gargling the phlegm-like, salty solution.
Why, I even take it up the poop-chute! When that throbbing monkey stick gets too big for my cock-holster of a mouth, I just shove it right up my rectal cavity for a nice, warm BEEF INJECTION!
One time, my monkey humped me up so hard that his dick got lodged in my anus, which was by that time completely ruptured, and I bled all the way to work. When my boss asked me why I was spewing anal fluids and blood all over his carpet, I responded with a dragonkick to the pelvis and knocked off his fucking head. Then I went to his house and pooped a bloody turd on his doorstep and smeared it all over his wife's boobs. After that, I pulled the broken phalus out of my ass and started cockslapping that fucking cunt until she had Down syndrome.
Then I sodomized a tarantula and threw it at a passing car.
True story.
User Reviews
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-04-06 10:36:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I wrote this same story when I was 12.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-06 10:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Then I sodomized a tarantula and threw it at a passing car."
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2005-04-06 09:18:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"pooped a bloody turd on his doorstep and smeared it all over his wife's boobs"
+1 because you said boobs
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-04-06 09:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, that was extremely rancid.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-04-06 08:46:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't see how this is getting negative ratings. Fucking hilarious, if you ask me. But then again, I'm a well known fuckwit.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-04-06 08:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Made me laugh quite a bit!
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-04-06 04:20:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
this should be in the romance section
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-04-06 03:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2005-04-06 02:24:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for this
Then I sodomized a tarantula and threw it at a passing car.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-04-06 02:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
547
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2005-04-06 02:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for this
Then I sodomized a tarantula and threw it at a passing car.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-04-06 02:10:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your a very strange person. or you do wicked drugs.
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-04-06 01:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This post is free of any redeeming content.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-04-06 01:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was incredible. Brought a tear to my eye...
Submitted by SyntaxZero (user info) at 2005-04-06 01:23:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what the fuck.
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-04-06 01:21:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't see why OICU812 and Jocko Johnson are fighting here. Both of you guys do good work. This was great.
Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:38:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
" fictional 'good old days' "
First word.
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D, you are a hypocritical, shit-headed assdog.
The fact that you alluded to your previous post says to me that this was, in fact, a retributional -2.
You are the cum your mother should have swallowed.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I was entertained.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
" fictional 'good old days' "
First word.
Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:37:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I LOVE YOU JOCKO!!!!!11!1!!111!11!111!!1!!1!!!!ONE1
Submitted by Jocko_Johnson (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:35:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rope.
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:33:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you post to much
Submitted by Bayley (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ewwwwwwwwwwww: pooped a bloody turd on his doorstep and smeared it all over his wife's boobs
seriously dude, get some sleep!
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You need a woman. Or a life. Or a rope.