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I do indeed enjoy the large, pulsating monkey cock. (2055 hits)

Category: Business & Financial

Rating: 0.15 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by MasochisticMole (View user info) at 2005-04-06 00:23:19 EDT


There's nothing I love more than to come home after a long, hard day of work and bring my silverback monkey up from the basement. That's when the fun begins.

You see friends, I am a semen-receptacle; a cum-dumpster if you will, for monkey love snot. I simply adore gargling the phlegm-like, salty solution.

Why, I even take it up the poop-chute! When that throbbing monkey stick gets too big for my cock-holster of a mouth, I just shove it right up my rectal cavity for a nice, warm BEEF INJECTION!

One time, my monkey humped me up so hard that his dick got lodged in my anus, which was by that time completely ruptured, and I bled all the way to work. When my boss asked me why I was spewing anal fluids and blood all over his carpet, I responded with a dragonkick to the pelvis and knocked off his fucking head. Then I went to his house and pooped a bloody turd on his doorstep and smeared it all over his wife's boobs. After that, I pulled the broken phalus out of my ass and started cockslapping that fucking cunt until she had Down syndrome.

Then I sodomized a tarantula and threw it at a passing car.

True story.

alexander.mosaic.jpg (243 kB)

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User Reviews


Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-04-06 10:36:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I wrote this same story when I was 12.

Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-06 10:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

"Then I sodomized a tarantula and threw it at a passing car."

Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2005-04-06 09:18:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

"pooped a bloody turd on his doorstep and smeared it all over his wife's boobs"

+1 because you said boobs

Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-04-06 09:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Ok, that was extremely rancid.

Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-04-06 08:46:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I can't see how this is getting negative ratings. Fucking hilarious, if you ask me. But then again, I'm a well known fuckwit.

Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-04-06 08:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Made me laugh quite a bit!

Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-04-06 04:20:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

this should be in the romance section

Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-04-06 03:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2005-04-06 02:24:29 (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 for this

Then I sodomized a tarantula and threw it at a passing car.

Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-04-06 02:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

547

Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2005-04-06 02:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 for this

Then I sodomized a tarantula and threw it at a passing car.

Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-04-06 02:10:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Your a very strange person. or you do wicked drugs.

Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-04-06 01:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

This post is free of any redeeming content.

Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-04-06 01:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This was incredible. Brought a tear to my eye...

Submitted by SyntaxZero (user info) at 2005-04-06 01:23:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

what the fuck.


Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-04-06 01:21:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I don't see why OICU812 and Jocko Johnson are fighting here. Both of you guys do good work. This was great.

Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:38:26 (#)
Ranking: -2

" fictional 'good old days' "

First word.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

D, you are a hypocritical, shit-headed assdog.

The fact that you alluded to your previous post says to me that this was, in fact, a retributional -2.

You are the cum your mother should have swallowed.



Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

I was entertained.

Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

" fictional 'good old days' "

First word.

Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:37:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I LOVE YOU JOCKO!!!!!11!1!!111!11!111!!1!!1!!!!ONE1

Submitted by Jocko_Johnson (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:35:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0


Rope.

Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:33:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

you post to much

Submitted by Bayley (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

ewwwwwwwwwwww: pooped a bloody turd on his doorstep and smeared it all over his wife's boobs

seriously dude, get some sleep!

Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-06 00:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

You need a woman. Or a life. Or a rope.


Homer: The secret ingredient is --

Moe: Homer, no!

Homer: Cough syrup! Nothing but plain, ordinary, over-the-counter
children's cough syrup!

Flaming Moe's