My own live porn movie in the making, right before my eyes. (Possibly NSFW) (3951 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.19 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The W (View user info) at 2005-04-06 02:54:49 EDT
I got drunk in a bar in Georgia.
I origonally went to the bar to sit around and wallow in self-pity for no apparent reason. I was perfectly happy doing this. But when I got to the bar, I realized it was Kareoke night, and as I've mentioned somewhere in here, Kareoke has changed my life....okay maybe I didn't say it before, whatever.
Anyway, so I get invited to share a table with my bar friends (not that I go there often or anything) and sitting there is a girl that I had not yet been introduced too. The conversation went something like this (too protect the innocent, we'll call her Tiffany)
Tiffany: Hi, I'm Tiffany *shakes hand* [it is the south, a handshake is still acceptable]
Me: Hi, I'm Willard. You're cute, want to dance.
T: Well, I would, but I'm a lesbian...and thats my girlfriend [points to a butch looking girl with piercings all over her face]
Me: I didn't ask you if you wanted to fuck, I asked if you wanted to dance.
T: (gives me the "you're such an asshole and I like it" look)
Apparently after this little statement, I was good to go. This girl was all over me the rest of the night with her perky brests and tight ass, and beautiful legs.
Give me a moment.
Okay, well, one thing lead to another, and she and her girlfriend were also all over each other all night, and she played with her pussy at the table (she was wearing short shorts....yes in the bar....its the south), and stuff. But all this time, she was still hanging all over me. Then she finally turned to me and said the most beautiful words I've ever heard in my life:
"I wonder if my girlfriend would care if I started making out with you"
Turns out she didn't.
BUT WAIT, THERES MORE!
Not only was she all over me, she was all over my bar friend also named Tiffany. I had been working on Tiffany for awhile. Turns out Tiffany not only sits on the fence, but she has a boyfriend or something that likes to watch her get it on with other people. Anyway, so at the end of the night, in my drunken stooper, I end up following both of them to the car, and while there, I finally get a bit of action from the bar friend Tiffany. Then a bit from lesbian Tiffany. Then both together.
I swear this is all true, hand to God.
And I didn't spell check, or make a conclusion. Kiss my ass.
User Reviews
Submitted by bulldog (user info) at 2005-05-22 02:25:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My turd that just made "The Splash" looked like you (of course, its IQ was a bit higher than yours. Sorry 'bout that one, chum.)
Now go kill yourself. Really. No one cares.
Go do it.
Now.
Right now..
quickly!!!!
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-12 18:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-12 15:40:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/55785
Are you talking about this fat guy?
hahahahahahhahhahah
C'mon he has LIFETIME VIRGIN tatooed on his forehead
==================================================================
Being a virgin (which I'm not) is better than marrying your sister.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60704
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-04-12 15:57:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, this happened, sure.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-12 15:40:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/55785
Are you talking about this fat guy?
hahahahahahhahhahah
C'mon he has LIFETIME VIRGIN tatooed on his forehead
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-10 19:03:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh...and if someone can give me one good reason why I should put any effort into a post...other than to satisfy grammer nazis, and those who live to find a reason to berate other people, please let me know, and I will start posting something with perfect grammar, syntax, and all that bullshit.
This post wasn't created to make me sound intelligent or anything. It happened to me, I though it to be a once in a lifetime thing, so I wanted to tell a story. I didn't feel the need to embelish details.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-10 18:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Grad school consists of nothing but writing papers. Sounds like the rantings of an ignorant person to me.
Submitted by rdn4 (user info) at 2005-04-10 10:21:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahaha. I love all the whiny ubers: "You're not in Grad School!" (gasp!)
+4 for the Ron pic and -2 for not having a +4 on the rating scheme.
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-04-10 10:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, the picture of Ron made this story.
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2005-04-10 09:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are not in graduate school. Grad schools classes mostly consists of the student writing paper after paper. Based on the numerous spelling and grammatical errors in your post, poor syntax and overall bland writing technique, I would venture to say you are no older than 17 years old. You have never even talked to a girl for longer than 30 seconds without ejaculating in your Bugle Boy jeans.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-10 08:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
First of all...I'm in grad school you little sophmore bitch. When you're halfay done with your masters and maintain a 4.0 GPA while working two full time jobs, plus an internsip, come talk to me about accomplishments. Furthermore, good luck with that psych degree...change majors now while you still can. Despite what your school tells you, there are no jobs with a BS degree. You might be okay with the english, but only if you want to teach, write, or do journalism. Go into busniess, or if you want to study people, go into communications
Secondly, despite "all you have learned" you must have issues if you take what someone says on an internet site so personally. I didn't realize it meant that much to you, so here's your +2. Most of what people write here, wheither it be in a review, or in a post, is mostly bullshit. Myself included. Keep that in mind when you want to retaliate with -2s on someone else's post.
Third, which I believe was the point most of your reviewers were trying to make, is that no matter how much of a deep understanding you THINK you have of life at 18 years old, this reality will change for you so many times over the next five years of your life. Hell, not even five years, probably two or three tops.
The best advise I have, is to relax and let things ride. If you over think things, you'll become fucked up in the head. Of course, that's job security for me.
Oh, and to never post again.
Submitted by DerivableZero (user info) at 2005-04-09 18:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The only advice I can give is grow up, based upon the advice that you have given me and what I read here.
As far as your checklist goes:
I've been to college. I currently am a double-degreeing major in psychology and english and I have four semesters left. Probably more than you'll accomplish making pornos and getting drunk in Atlanta bars.
I've been fucked. I loved it.
I've done drugs. They hurt the way that I think, and I don't like it.
I however, have not made a porno. So, congratulations.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-07 01:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Its true...I'll post the video after its made.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-06 21:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You just set off the buzzer on the "Uber Bullshit Detector" , and I can't get it to stop.
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2005-04-06 21:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2005-04-06 16:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 'cause i'm proud of ya, son.
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2005-04-06 11:52:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nope
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-06 11:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's disgusting how you talk about your mom like that.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-04-06 10:31:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This could have been a +2 but you didn't really tell the story all that well. I'm sure it was great being there though
Submitted by BigCore (user info) at 2005-04-06 09:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn straight.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-04-06 09:20:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2005-04-06 08:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rock on.