A Random Walk (668 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sarcasticus (View user info) at 2005-04-06 13:37:40 EDT
Did you ever get that feeling that you were trapped? Constrained? A panicky feeling where you start sweating and want to run away for no good reason. Yeah, that was my lunchtime walk today.
I had the song "Electric Sleep" by Sheavy playing in my ears, and I was doing my best not to rock out. (Aside: I should definately not own an MP3 player. I'll always forget I'm around people and start nodding my head a la "Yes! Yes! Yes! This Rocks!" The worst was when I was singing "War (What is it good for)" by Edwin Starr in a crowded street. I was all, "Unh. Yeah, get down. What is it good for? Ab-so-looot-ly..Nothing. Say it again y'all!" Awkward...)
But I digress...I was listening to this song and walking, enjoying the sun and I come to a stoplight. I'm in the middle of a crowd, and more people are arriving. Meanwhile, the song is getting totally intense in it's Faux-Black Sabbath stylings and my hands are twitching noticably in time with the drums. So, I look around at the people standing with me.
-There's a hipster - Brit-Pop hair and trendy sunglasses. Unsmiling, pouty, trying his best to look cool
-A fierce looking mid-40's bitch, with red-highlighted hair cut short and black box frame glasses. Trying her best to look important.
-A couple fat, balding middle-level managers. Faces sweaty and ruddy from their walk, guts hanging out over their belly.
-A young starlet type, flowing brown hair, tight jeans with the faded stripe down the middle, Ugg boots.
And others - pigeonholed into various categories as well. You had the slacker, the 'cool dude', the homeless guy, the mousy woman, the fat friend, cougars, etc...
So I stood with this teeming mass of humanity when the feelings of panic overtook me. Thoughts raced through my mind. Mostly about the tragedy of trends, and needing to be identified with one group over another. How too many people think their job means something, so they puff themselves up and act big - when really, no one gives a shit that they're regional sales coordinator of the Grundy account. How women have so much power when they're young - they can get any guy they want from ages 14-30 - but then it's over, and they spend their middle-age trying to recapture the power they had when they were young, not realizing people are laughing at their leather pants behind their back.
And these waves of thoughts washed over me and the tragedy of life started creeping in - reminding me that he still exists. So the feelings of being trapped, being limited starting getting more and more severe. And I knew I had to escape - I knew I had to transcend the limitations of where I was. I don't want to be some office jockey with dusty khakis 40 years down the road.
So I took out an insurance policy for the future. I freaked out.
I cranked up my music. Turned to 'Fire' by Arthur Brown and walked into the middle of the street. (By now it was a walk sign anyway.) And I started singing my fool head off.
"FIRE! DOO DOO DOO! TAKE YOU TO BURN"
Singing as loud as I could - in the best Arthur Brown voice possible. People were noticable disturbed and cutting a wide swath around me as they crossed the street. I was the Moses of freakdom and they were the red sea of timidity. I didn't care. Fools! I thought, enjoy your plastic button-down world - I'm freaking out the squares!
And I was dancing as well...man was I dancing. I was shaking my ass, shimmying, grooving, doing the Freddie. I jived. I boogied. Man, I fucking rocked my ass off.
People were unsure whether to laugh or shield their children. Some people in cars were honking their horns in approval. (Or maybe disdain, I 'unno.)
But the whole point is, when I was creating a scene, I was free. I was no longer bound by any rules of society - I was no longer some schmo working in a box factory. I was this crazy, insane man who could do anything - and might do something to you if you're not careful. And it was grrrreat.
But the light changed, and now people were honking at me to get out of the way. So I shuffled off, changing the song, and already beginning to reminisce my moment as a free man.
User Reviews
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-04-07 04:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-04-06 14:03:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
That is the whole reason why I do not own an MP3 player.
-Dave
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-04-06 13:54:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
don't let the fuckers keep you down.
------------------------
Basically.
You Rock!
Submitted by Umbilical_Cord (user info) at 2005-04-07 01:24:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE, AND I BRING YOU...
Submitted by Geodescent (user info) at 2005-04-06 19:51:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You needn't worry about the cougars. They're busy forming a plan to eat Cameron Diaz's legs off...
Submitted by Bizantine (user info) at 2005-04-06 19:35:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for daring to spaz in public :D
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2005-04-06 16:58:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-06 14:28:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry - cougars?
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you know....cougars...
older single women who, when on the prowl, make the younger men in their twenties feel hunted.
it really is quite scary.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-06 16:07:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-04-06 15:31:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for freaking out the squares.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-04-06 15:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for freaking out the squares.
Submitted by Sarcasticus (user info) at 2005-04-06 15:29:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Incidentally, the title was chosen on purpose - as a tribute to my nerdish learnings...
And cougars are the old chicks at bars that reek of despair and grab onto any hot young stuff and try desperately to recapture their lost youth.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-04-06 15:04:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Philst82 (user info) at 2005-04-06 14:55:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
A random self avoiding walk?
Dammit, physics makes me hate myself.
hilarious...that's the first thing i thought of too
Brownian motion for everyone!
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-04-06 14:59:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Arthur Brown would light his head on fire for that song. Well, not his head really, he had this crown/mask thing that would actually be on fire. Quite a spectacular effect.
Submitted by Philst82 (user info) at 2005-04-06 14:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A random self avoiding walk?
Dammit, physics makes me hate myself.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-06 14:33:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beeeeautiful. Chaos is the ultimate freedom of the individual. You can quote me on that.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-06 14:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry - cougars?
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-04-06 14:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is the whole reason why I do not own an MP3 player.
-Dave
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-04-06 13:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
don't let the fuckers keep you down.