I dont know WHY I do random stupid shit, but... (639 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.63 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mike <mike.elias17.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-04-07 13:54:13 EDT
*preface: I'm a 15 year old high school sophomore, 5'11 150lbs.
A funny thing happened on my way to lunch today...I was minding my own business when some giant fat older kid, probably 6'4'' 250, started chasing some other kid in my direction. The first kid kinda ran to my left, and for no real reason I'll admit, I stuck out my leg and tried to trip the giant upperclassman. Being fucking enormous, he just kinda plowed past my shoe, stumbling a little bit. I kept walking. He turned around and started walking back in my direction, but I know he wasnt coming after me (yet). I figured I'd go apologize, let him know I was just messing around and couldn't help it. He went immediately into "I'm a big dumbass and I'm gonna fuck you up" mode.
"I oughta fuck you up, you little faggot."
"Yeah that was actually pretty funny. Woulda been worse if you actually fell though."
"Yeah if I fell I woulda fucked you up, you little faggot. You're lucky I dont punch you in the face right now."
"Well at least you're being a good sport about it."
"(unintelligible) ...you little faggot."
Alright so I kept walking, went into the library and checked my email. Came outta the library, and there he was with his giant dumbass buddies, taunting me. He's at least 100 pounds bigger than I am, and I walked out to hear a comment so stupid I that I was more fascinated than intimidated.
"You're a little faggot!"
I just kinda looked both ways with my eyes like "ooookaaay..." and kept walking.
"C'mere, I'm gonna fuck you up!"
"Nah, that's alright." I kept walking.
I was in a wide hallway area alone (lunch traffic was pretty light by now) and I just vaguely hear *clumpclumpclump* and next thing I know my vision goes askew and I stumble forward. Then I noticed a pang of soreness in the back of my cranium.
Apparently, this idiotic behemoth pussy ran up and punched me in the back of the head while nobody was around.
Fortunately, I turned around in time to hear him scamper away saying "That's for tripping me you faggot!" I walked away without much loss of coordination whatsoever. Come to think of it, it may have hurt his hand more than me. I'm not really worried about anything besides how many IQ points I must've lost. I wish more people saw that though, I mustve looked fuckin badass getting punched by this bear and just walking away like nothing had happened.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheRocketeer (user info) at 2005-04-08 11:55:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DonovanMD: I do stand up for myself, I just dont see the need to fight cowardly gorillas. About the bat idea, I bring my baseball stuff to school every day, and something along those lines did occur to me. I just dont think it's worth it (unless it's self defense).
I dont think I got what I DESERVED, but I agree that I did deserve somethin :p This kid is just too big in size and too small in trousers to laugh it off like a pal.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-08 09:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Sounds like you really showed him who's boss.
Submitted by r1nce (user info) at 2005-04-07 21:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Huzzah for big-ass jerks at high-school. Take chemistry, then accidentally spill half a bottle of acid over the prick. He'll thank you for it in the long run.
Submitted by MJP (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:13:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Kill it with fire.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:09:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:01:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You really have to stand up for yourself, even if its in threats over physical harm. Tell the kid if he ever touches you again you'll bring your bat to school and after beating him senseless shove it so far up his ass he'll be coughing slivers. And let him see the bat in your locker or something. By the sounds of it you wont be getting into a fist fight with him anytime soon.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-07 14:42:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-07 13:58:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Baseball bat to the dome, put fatty on life support
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Goddamnit I hate agreeing with that asshole.
Submitted by Sarcasticus (user info) at 2005-04-07 14:40:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"If you don't take these stumps, I'm gonna reach over there and punch you in the brain."
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2005-04-07 14:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hate to say it man, but you got what you deserved, lol. tip: dont try to trip dumbfucks that outweigh you by 100 pounds! ...the next one may actually want to fight and not just suckerpunch.
did he hit you in the actual skull from behind, or the back of the neck?
well, i guess it had to be the skull to have maybe hurt his hand like you said
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-07 14:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-04-07 14:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Reminds me of when McFly trips Biff in the malt shop.
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-04-07 14:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
nice work stopping his hand with your head, mike.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-04-07 14:16:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for making me Not The Youngest User on Über.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-07 14:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well written, but I don't care if you are alive or dead...
Sorry about that.... but here's a "0" instead of the well deserved -2
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-04-07 14:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
At least you got to bruise his hand with your head, Rocky.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-04-07 14:06:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i almost stopped reading whwen i saw the 15 year old part, but hey, you don't suck!
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-07 14:04:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i could usually overcome my large enemies with the ol' "look over there" trick.
"60 percent of the time, it works EVERY time."
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-07 14:02:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey, it's my tasty high school boy. Where you been, sugar?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-07 14:01:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus Christ.
This is how those Columbine kids got their start.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-07 13:58:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Baseball bat to the dome, put fatty on life support