I believe (1037 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Untruth
Rating: 1.76 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Snark << snarkk.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2005-04-07 15:11:07 EDT
I believe in Santi Clause
I believe that if at first you don't succeed, you should lower your standards.
I believe that all a person needs to be happy is a regular 7 figure income, more electronic gadgets than they could ever use, live in servants and a sex slave from a foreign land.
I believe that the moon landing took place but the last election was faked.
I believe most of the lies people tell me.
I believe that the best watercolor paints are the 7 dollar kind. They cost less than the 11 dollar kind and taste better.
I believe that I was cast out of Heaven because god was JEALOUS!
I believe sticking it in is just as fun as pulling it out.
I believe that if you stuck a thousand monkeys in a room full of typewriters you would end up with the biggest shit fight in history.
I believe that there's probably nothing more disturbing than the sudden realization that there's a man growing out of your bum.
I believe that there's nothing wrong with that, if that's what you are into.
I believe I'm not.
I believe that the saying "You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends nose" is essentially wrong. A true friend will not only encourage you to pick his / her nose, but will provide you with a flashlight and the "jaws of life".
I believe that somewhere between black and white, there is an area of grey, because that's what you get if you mix black and white.
I believe blue and green make bleen.
I believe that masturbation is my healthiest hobby.
I believe there is nothing wrong with mixing your hobbies with business or social functions such as funerals.
I believe in miracles. Where ya from? You sexy thing you.
I believe I'll have another "episode" before I actually get to 500 words.
I believe this man is my real dad.
User Reviews
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:00:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Convent
Submitted by ProgramGeek (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-06-14 22:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:27:34 (#)
Ranking: -1
I believe these posts are getting older than WhatTheHell's Schlongy tributes
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This was great. I believe boomslang can suck my dick.
Submitted by mo (user info) at 2005-04-13 21:34:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe I just gave you a pretty high credit for being a believer. I believe in kicking some ass if waranted. I believe my friends believe that I believe. I believe George the Animal Steel is you real Father just alot harrier. Anyways I believe buddy that I will leave it at that. Mo
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-04-13 11:22:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe that you believe that all things are believable.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-04-08 08:53:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Animal!!!
And the $7 paints REALLY are better than the $11 ones.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-04-08 08:10:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kojak? Is that you?
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-04-08 06:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funnier than watching a one-armed windowcleaner try an wring out his shamois
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-04-08 00:52:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-04-08 00:01:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone to fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me
[Chorus:]
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all
I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
[Chorus]
And if by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2005-04-07 23:37:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your Dad looks a little creepy. If you ever meet him for God's sake don't turn your back on him.
Submitted by r1nce (user info) at 2005-04-07 21:59:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by foster (user info) at 2005-04-07 21:05:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2005-04-07 20:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i can dig it
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-04-07 17:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
#1 'I believe' = Bull Durham
#2 =
I don't believe in superstars,
Organic food and foreign cars.
I don't believe the price of gold;
The certainty of growing old.
That right is right and left is wrong,
That north and south can't get along.
That east is east and west is west.
And being first is always best.
But I believe in love.
I believe in babies.
I believe in Mom and Dad.
And I believe in you.
Well, I don't believe that heaven waits,
For only those who congregate.
I like to think of God as love:
He's down below, He's up above.
He's watching people everywhere.
He knows who does and doesn't care.
And I'm an ordinary man,
Sometimes I wonder who I am.
But I believe in love.
I believe in music.
I believe in magic.
And I believe in you.
Well, I know with all my certainty,
What's going on with you and me,
Is a good thing.
It's true, I believe in you.
I don't believe virginity,
Is as common as it used to be.
In working days and sleeping nights,
That black is black and white is white.
That Superman and Robin Hood,
Are still alive in Hollywood.
That gasoline's in short supply,
The rising cost of getting by.
But I believe in love.
I believe in old folks.
I believe in children.
I believe in you.
But I believe in love.
I believe in babies.
I believe in Mom and Dad.
And I believe in you.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-04-07 17:16:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-04-07 17:01:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
I know.
=====
BAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-07 17:05:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In these times of contention it's not my intention to make things plain
I'm looking through mirrors to catch the reflection that can't be mine
I'm losing control now I'll just have to slow down a thought or two
I can't feel the future and I'm not even certain that there is a past
I believe in the worker's revolution
And I believe in the final solution
I believe in
I believe in
I believe in the shape of things to come
And I believe in I'm not the only one
Yes I believe in
I believe in
When I poison my system I take thoughts and twist them into shapes
I'm reaching my nadir and I haven't an idea of what to do
I'm painting by numbers but can't find the colours that fill you in
I'm not even knowing if I'm coming or going if to end or begin
I believe in the immaculate conception
And I believe in the resurrection
And I believe in
I believe in
I believe in the elixir of youth
And I believe in the absolute truth
Yes I believe in
I believe in
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
I've fallen from favour while trying to savour experience
I'm seeing things clearly but it has quite nearly blown my mind
It's the aim of existence to offer resistance to the flow of time
Everything is and that is why it is will be the line
I believe in perpetual motion
And I believe in perfect devotion
I believe in
I believe in
I believe in the things I've never had
I believe in my Mum and my Dad
And I believe in
I believe in
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
I'm skippin' the pages of a book that takes ages for the foreword to end
Triangular cover concealing another aspect from view
My relative motion is just an illusion from stopping too fast
The essence of being these feelings I'm feeling I just want them to last
I believe in original sin
And I believe what I believe in
Yes I believe in
I believe in
I believe in the web of fate
And I believe in I'm going to be late
So I'll be leavin'
What I believe in
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-04-07 17:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-07 16:57:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2005-04-07 16:44:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very good
Submitted by Feebleattempt (user info) at 2005-04-07 16:41:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Godd job
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-04-07 16:28:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahahahaha
I blew bubbles in my tea.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-04-07 16:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woo hoo hoo! I'm IN........
thebuildingacrossthestreet,dousedinhoney,watchingyoureverymove.
er.. what?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-04-07 16:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-04-07 16:07:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was moved to tears by this.
Simply beautiful.
========
It was Georges majestic beauty wasn't it?
I know... He does the same thing to me my friend.
===============
Dannie,
I consider the building across the street to be a foreign land.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-04-07 16:07:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was moved to tears by this.
Simply beautiful.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-04-07 16:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh and....
I believe in miracles. Where ya from? You sexy thing you.
BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHARRRRHARPEENERHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-04-07 16:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and a sex slave from a foreign land.
America is a foreign land, right? Cuz, I do believe we can work something out here.
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2005-04-07 16:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe I didn't include this in my "I believe" http://www.ubersite.com/m/63749 post, because it super duper funny!
I believe it's kind of sad that I included a link to my own post, but fuck it, I'm shameless.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-04-07 16:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:27:34 (#)
Ranking: -1
I believe these posts are getting older than WhatTheHell's Schlongy tributes
===========================
I believe you didn't even read this post.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:42:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I believe that if you stuck a thousand monkeys in a room full of typewriters you would end up with the biggest shit fight in history."
HAHA SIMPSONS!
"It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times? Get out of here, you stupid monkey!"
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:41:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shit flinging apes
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damnit you just made me spit peanut butter crackers all over my monitor
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:31:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
andre the giant woulda been better.....but hey, this still rocked.
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I believe these posts are getting older than WhatTheHell's Schlongy tributes
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HolyCrapThisIsAwesome.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe that if you stuck a thousand monkeys in a room full of typewriters you would end up with the biggest shit fight in history.
***
hahaha
Submitted by Xena (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe you may be insane...
thank you
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would be proud to call George "The Animal" Steele my dad!
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:14:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh no not George "the animal" Steele.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bleen
HAHAHAHAHAHA
You are awesome.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-07 15:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe this man is my real dad.
---
Really??
I don't believe you! ;)