Did Jesus ever pick his nose? (1114 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.43 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Saxon (View user info) at 2005-04-07 19:44:58 EDT
I hate the feeling of a dry booger in my nose. The main problem with that is I am not the hanky carrying kind of man.
What kind of person carries a hanky around in their pocket covered in boogers anyway?
I guess I could be called a discreet pick and flick kind of guy. Although in company I will excuse myself and go to the toilet for a pick and flick or maybe even use some toilet roll for a wholesome blow but I am not one to go for gold in company.
Watching someone pick their nose isn't something that I enjoy either, in fact id rather be near someone who farted then was picking their nose. I've sat on a bus and watched a kid beside me go for gold and when his finger came out with an audible "PLOP" I said.
"Where are you going to wipe that?"
Looking at me with a guilty face he shoved his hand in his pocket.
"Awwwwwwwwww come on! That's disgusting!"
Am I the only one that dry reaches when I see a child pick its nose then stick the booger in its mouth?
Honestly there are some bodily mucus's and fluids that should not go into the mouth and boogers rate highly. It makes you wonder if you have ever kissed a closet booger eater.
How many times have you sat at traffic lights and noticed the person beside you nonchalantly probing their proboscis with a pointed digit? I have hung out of my car window many times and exclaimed.
"Did ya pick a winner?"
Fuck it! You wanna do something disgusting in my presence I should be able to out you and embarrass you and point out your dirty deed to all and sundry.
Nose picking isn't like pulling your underpants out of your butt crack, that's socially expectable but nose picking isn't. If it were we would pick a booger and show everyone.
Never! I repeat never look under the table at the café. Why you ask? Ok ok you take a look then and don't blame me when you loose your appetite. Most chronic nose pickers are wipers and they don't care where they wipe a booger and a quick unnoticed wipe under a table hides their disgusting behaviour.
I've seen boogers on ATM machines, parked cars and even shop windows. What the fuck goes through a nose pickers head at the ATM?
Oh bugga I have a booger on my finger oh well there ya go ill wipe it here and make my own deposit.
FUCK OFF! That's repulsive and if I ever catch someone doing it ill push their face into it. Blow your freaking nose on your transaction slip and stick it in your pocket if you have to just don't wipe it for the next person to come across and remember ATM machines have cameras so your dirty deed is recorded. It's just a pity we don't have booger police that turn up at your house with your booger on a towel to wipe your face in it. Then take a dump on your coffee table before leaving.
I love catching people out. Getting caught with your finger in your nose cant be explained away as anything but exactly what you were doing. How many times have you heard "The inside of my nose was itchy"? Bullshit! You might as well explain it away that a bee flew up your nose.
There is no plausible excuse for having your finger in your nose. I was waiting for an elevator once and when the doors opened a guy inside was just about to slip his finger into his nose but quickly put his hand to his side. I walked inside and said "Go on go for it" his face went red with shame.
We should be able to report nose pickers who then have to go to Nose Pickers Anonymous for counselling. I can see Fred Nerk standing in front of a room full of chronic nose pickers.
"Hi my name is Fred Nerk and-and-um I'm a chronic nose picker".
There are however people who just don't give a fuck and pick their nose anywhere they like. These people should be tied to something in the city so other people can wipe their boogers on them.
Then there's the nostril blower, this person has no morals or principles, he will cover one nostril with a finger and blow the contents of the other nostril onto the ground, often trailing a web of snot from his nose.
The hanky honker is just as annoying but not quite as gross, he covers his entire face with a hanky and honks like a goddamn semi trailer. Go do that shit in private for fucks sake. I've even seen people do this at cafes and restaurants; don't they know that that might put some people off their food?
Perhaps they should have a section near the end of the news report on TV just before the weather.
"Today we filmed 6 nose pickers, here is the vision just in. if you know these people please phone us with their names so they can be shamed on national television"
Public nose pickers have to be stopped so next time you see someone pick their nose point at them and follow them chanting "Nose Picker Nose Picker" and if you see someone outing a nose picker join in the pointing and chanting, I think a group of ten or more people following a nose picker chanting might make them think twice before doing it again.
User Reviews
Submitted by canadia (user info) at 2005-04-08 23:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ewwww.... but good
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-08 18:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Boogers are gross. Kids with runny noses make me "WRETCH"
do you catch my meaning?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-04-08 11:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a +2 before I even read it! Great pic and title! I always wondered if, being the son of God, Jesus could have possibly been exempt from shitting and pissing too. Also, to have drank as much wine as he seemed to have drank, did he ever get a buzz and pass out?
All of these things, if witnessed first hand, would sorta take the whole 'divine' factor out of Jesus a little for some people, don't you think?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-08 11:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-08 11:28:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was babysitting my little brother one time when he was about 2 years old. We were playing in the front yard and he picked a booger out of his nose and ate it.
I started fussing at him, telling him that eating boogers is nasty and he shouldn't do it anymore. He just smiled at me with his finger up his nose the whole time.
When I was finished talking, he took his finger out of his nose, stuck it in his mouth, and said "Mmmm, it's cake."
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-08 08:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious, but this plus2 is for the picture.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-04-08 08:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
ATM's have camera's to record this kind of behavior.
Read this if you want to know about kids and boogers.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/18686
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-04-08 08:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe boogers were the "forbidden fruit" hanging from the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden. :p
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-04-08 07:29:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck the loser(s) who gave this a - rating...
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-04-08 07:28:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Darko is a fucking idiot. I could say more on this subject, but why waste my time?
I get nervous when I see people picking their noses in their cars. How horrible would it be if they were really digging, and someone hit them? Ouch.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-04-08 02:56:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There is nothing like the good ol "Farmer Blow",
to impress people, and clean that sucker out.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-04-08 02:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty funny, but some of the errors made this difficult to read. I like you, though, so 2 for you.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-04-08 02:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Exactly; yet all of the Old Hollywood savvy Cary Grant types carried handkerchiefs folded just so in their suit jacket breast pocket. But their hankies were for showing, not blowing.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-04-08 02:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I... I... I'm just scratching my brain...
Submitted by matrix2681 (user info) at 2005-04-07 22:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pick a red one, win a prize!!
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2005-04-07 21:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
of course he did
and so thou shalt picketh thy nose...
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-04-07 21:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit, I'm so going to point and chant at people I see on the street.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-07 20:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I was waiting for an elevator once and when the doors opened a guy inside was just about to slip his finger into his nose but quickly put his hand to his side. "
I've been scratching myself *ahem* down there when that happened to me. I have no idea if the lady saw me. Hahaha
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-04-07 20:09:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Rambling mess. At the very best this read like a seinfield joke. "What's the deal with nose pickers?" And even his things don't translate well when written. I had my hopes up with the title, but the post didn't even have anything to do with it. This was a disapointment.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-07 20:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yup. Like he was mining for gold.
He also liked to scratch his ass.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-07 19:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nose picking isn't like pulling your underpants out of your butt crack, that's socially expectable but nose picking isn't.
-------------------------------
You didn't per chance mean "acceptable", now did you?
You are a booger-nazi.
Submitted by project_nessa (user info) at 2005-04-07 19:55:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love the pic (get it?)
Submitted by User10030 (user info) at 2005-04-07 19:51:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nope.