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I beleive (543 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 1.5 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Zackstersmackster (View user info) at 2005-04-07 21:51:30 EDT


I Believe

I believe we can learn important things from spending time with an older person

I believe any food, from a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to a holiday feast, is better when your mom makes it

I believe the first snowfall of the year is magical, and the rest are a pain in the ass

I believe cows were placed on this Earth so we could enjoy steaks

I believe cattle mutilations are a result of aliens wanting steak also

I believe the Chupacabra was looking for cows, but he settled for goats

I believe a fire in a fireplace counts as therapy

I believe petting a dog will make you feel better

I believe beer is a necessary part of the food pyramid, or rhombus, or whatever...along with pussy

I believe that if you could lay all the Uberwomen end to end, it would be a good idea

I believe in a neatly groomed landing strip

I believe everybody should live out at least one of his or her fantasies, once

I believe everybody should experience a brush with death to appreciate life more

I believe stupid people are here to make me feel better about myself

I believe Asians are better at math and science than they are at driving

I believe I have bigger junk than any Asian

I believe dogs know more than we think they do

I believe that one day the Loch Ness Monster's body will wash ashore and we will all know the truth

I believe that one day I will hit a hole in one

I believe that one day I may win the lottery, and a bunch of people that hated me will like me

I believe that I will tell all of them to fuck off

I believe the "new" Burger King guy in the commercials is Satan

I believe reality shows are for people who can't do anything in real life

I believe psychiatrists are full of shit

I believe my boss is a pedophile

I believe I would like to see a professional athlete do my job(s) for a week

I believe in life on other planets

I believe they are laughing at us

I believe in evolution, but our gene pool needs a shot of chlorine

I believe that if I went on for 500 words, everbody'd -2 me


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User Reviews


Submitted by Ich (user info) at 2005-05-15 23:54:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Good article.

On duck tape suit construction: it won't take you as long as it did
for me.

I got the pattern at a fabric store (Joann Fabrics). It was pattern
2383 from Vogue patterns.

http://store.sewingtoday.com/cgi-bin/voguepatterns/shop.cgi?s.item.V2383

If you are in any way familiar with sewing, so much the better. If
not, you will be before the end of the project. It isn't easy by any
stretch of the imagination, so here's a pretty good parts list.

Pattern, like above - should cost about $10-15
8 Rolls of duck tape - Get the 60 yd. kind. This will give you a
generous amount for your project. Home Depot has white, black, red,
and silver.
About 5 yds. of muslin.
A tie for the outline
a boxcutter
a surface you can use as a cutting board, say, heavyweight cardboard.
a helpful partner

The process involved was taking about 5 yards of 45" wide lightweight
muslin cloth and stretching it flat over two large pieces of plywood.
After it was anchored down, we began applying duck tape in strips to
it, until we had covered the entire cloth. It took about 3 1/2 rolls
of 2" duck tape at 60 yards per roll, so there was a fair amount of
overlap and the edges of the cloth were duck taped down (a staple gun
might have been nicer). Next, a pattern was purchased from Joann
Fabrics (2383 by Vogue patterns, according to the package) and the
relevant pieces were cut out. The linings and all non-visible pieces
were discarded as superfluous. The pieces of the pattern were
carefully laid out on the newly made fabric, and slowly were cut out
with the best and most convenient blade available. It consists of a
single-edged razor blade and a holder. I have heard it called
alternately a "razor knife" and a "boxcutter"; I hold that both may be
correct. I carefully cut out the pieces (in double, because the
fabric was folded in half. they only give you one outline of a
sleeve, and you're expected to fold it in half, so you get two mirror
images of each piece).

Connect the pieces together. You might want to reduce their size (cut)
on all sides by about 5/8" because that's normally the seam allowance.
I am really fucking tired. Email me if you have questions, which I
see as an inevitability. I didn't cut the seams before connection,
and that added many hours onto the total completion time. I folded
the edges in on themselves, and I don't think there was an appreciable
quality difference, except for the edges. Don't do it on your seams,
just the edges.

iblamethegovernment (at) gmail (anti spam. yeah, yeah).

Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-21 04:08:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by TMedeiros (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I believe I'll have another beer.

Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-04-08 09:24:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

**I believe the "new" Burger King guy in the commercials is Satan **

so it's not just me?
whew I feel better now

Submitted by spazzh0le (user info) at 2005-04-07 22:19:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Degreeless and Shlongy, pull your panties outta yer asses.
+ 2 because I was abducted and I enjoyed a fine steak dinner aboard a spaceship with aliens.

Submitted by Zackstersmackster (user info) at 2005-04-07 22:09:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I believe Schlongy's a little too harsh sometimes, but he's OK

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-04-07 22:09:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

i before e except after c

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-07 22:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I CAN'T believe you spelled your title incorrectly.

Check that: I DO believe it, now that i think about it.

Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-04-07 22:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 for this one:

I believe everybody should experience a brush with death to appreciate life more.

Submitted by Zackstersmackster (user info) at 2005-04-07 21:55:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

What a retard, I spelled "believe" wrong! Have mercy!

Submitted by metroidkillah (user info) at 2005-04-07 21:55:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Now THAT'S more like it! Although, if you won the lottery, a lot of people who once liked you would begin to hate you. With a pasion.


You know, some of these stories are pretty good. I never knew mice
lived such interesting lives.

-- Homer Simpson
Itchy & Scratchy & Marge