Mensa Approved IQ Test #2 (Revised Retard Edition) (1288 hits)
Category: HumorLabels: ETS_Comedy_Writing
Rating: 0.5 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (View user info) at 2005-04-08 10:12:50 EDT
This is a continuation of this test: http://www.ubersite.com/m/47360
(Revised and reposted due to stupidity.)
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1. Which of the following does not belong?
A. Telegraph
B. Telephone
C. Radio
D. Internet
E. An unarmed black man in the town of Killdarkie, Arkansas
2. Rearrange the following letters to construct a phrase meaning, "please, sir, if you would be so kind as depart my presence and engage in auto-erotic stimulation, I would be grateful."
Og Uckf Ourselfy
A. Go fuck yourself
B. Let's be friends
C. Here, just take the fucking thing, I've already seen it anyway!
D. Let's be pen pals
E. Let's make love
3. What's the next number in the following sequence?
O...O...O...O...?
A. O
B. 167,489,111
C. Colonel Pappersnapper
D. Sexual Chocolate
E. None, you idiot, that's the fucking letter 'O'
4. Which of the following does not belong?
A. "
B. !
C. ?
D. :
E. ;
5. Which of the following words best completes the sentence: "The bag of weed that I purchased from that black man was very __________."
A. Generous
B. Fluffy
C. Bounteous
D. Plump
E. Niggardly
6. You find yourself trapped in a well with an angry platypus. Which of the following items would be most useful in this situation:
A. A collection of platypus porn and a TV and VCR
B. An ancient Aboriginal Voodoo charm that is supposed to lull platypussies to sleep
C. A severed penis and a rhinestone-encrusted turban
D. A bundle of industrial rebar
E. A ladder
7. You purchase an illegal bootleg of the Paris Hilton sex DVD on ebay for $15. You live in the same state as the seller, so he tries to charge you 8% sales tax on the item, to which you reply, "fuck you, you crooked bastard! I'm not paying taxes on an illegal item," to which the seller replies, "oh yea? Well if you don't pay the tax, then I won't ship it," to which you respond in turn, "well, then, I'll just leave negative feedback on your account", to which he responds, "Og uckf ourselfy," in response to which you inquire, "what the fuck does that mean???" to which the seller replies, "I don't know, I saw it on an IQ test somewhere," at which point you ask, "yes, but what does it mean?" to which the seller replies, "uhhhh......C?" Paris Hilton is hot.
A. True
B. False
C. All of the above
8. A train leaves a station in Newark at 8:00am and heads toward the town of Newcastle, which is 1500 miles away, traveling 70 kilometers per hour. Another train leaves the station at Newcastle at 10:00am and heads toward Newark traveling 110 kilometers per hour. Provided that each train weighs 90,000 tons, what will be the force of impact in PSI when the trains finally collide because they were traveling on the same set of tracks?
Ok, that's too hard... Instead, where would you rather be living in the event of a flood?
A. Newark
B. Newcastle
9. Bart Cilfone is to übersite.com as ___________________
A. advertisements are to monkeys
B. journalists are to historic world events
C. flippers are to walruses
D. giants are to beanstalks
E. cow farts are to ozone depletion
10. Place the appropriate item in the Z position to balance the bar.
User Reviews
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-04-08 12:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rollerboognish (user info) at 2005-04-08 11:55:14 (#)
Ranking: 1
This is weird. I woke up and got on ubersite, and I saw this post, and a bunch of posts called "I Believe" (naturally) and one called "I Conceive," and I thought that nothing new had been posted since last night.
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Yea, it's a repost. Sorry dude. I fixed the mistake with the adjective though!
I'll get you another puzzle to chew on later if I have time. In the meantime, you should check out one of these tests: http://www.highiqsociety.org/noflash/nonmembers/iqtests.htm
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-04-08 12:04:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would have chosen bounteous. It's such a good word.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-08 12:04:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Once was enough...
Submitted by rollerboognish (user info) at 2005-04-08 11:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This is weird. I woke up and got on ubersite, and I saw this post, and a bunch of posts called "I Believe" (naturally) and one called "I Conceive," and I thought that nothing new had been posted since last night.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-04-08 11:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-04-08 11:34:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
ETS, I didn't see the one you did yesterday so if you hadn't reposted I would have missed it and it was pretty funny so thanks
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If I can reached but one person...just one...it will have all been worth it.
*cries emo tears*
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-04-08 11:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ETS, I didn't see the one you did yesterday so if you hadn't reposted I would have missed it and it was pretty funny so thanks
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-04-08 11:33:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You people have lost your edge.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-08 11:21:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What's fuckface's LATEST problem?
Zitboy there needs an enema....stat.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-08 11:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You have two usernames?
and you felt the need to have two things on the front page at the same time?
and you call me an attention whore?
hypocrite
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-04-08 11:07:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
awwwww, is wittle fuckface upset???? Poor wittle fuckface. I guess he and his buddy, AJ, will now have to go back to butt-banging each other for their fun.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-08 10:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-04-08 10:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You posted it to get more recognition you fucking emo. Too bad you can't even measure your "popularity" because the hits are down. Emo fag.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-04-08 10:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am sorry about the repost... The mistakes were getting on my nerves. One whole part of the ending got cut off and everything on the other one. I couldn't stand looking at it anymore. I dont care what rating this gets, I just want it to be right.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-08 10:31:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Title your next post..."How to take a +2 post and turn it into a -2 post in 24 hours time" - by ETS
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-04-08 10:29:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
O NOES! NOT MY SCHEME!?!?!?!!!!
Submitted by JoisyGirl (user info) at 2005-04-08 10:26:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Need to know how one finds the time to think this up, but brilliant
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-08 10:22:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
According to the test, my IQ score is "-2 die." Just as I always suspected.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-04-08 10:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-04-08 10:18:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
You posted this yesterday. Emo faggot.
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You stupid fuck, that's why the name of the goddamned thing is 'REVISED Retard Edition'. Fucking twat. I even stated at the top of the post it's revised. That's it. You've pissed me off... I'm blowing the lid on your little scheme.
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2005-04-08 10:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
pretty funny.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-04-08 10:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You posted this yesterday. Emo faggot.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-04-08 10:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.highiqsociety.org/noflash/nonmembers/iqtests.htm
Take the Ultimate IQ test if you're bored. It's pretty good. See if you can beat my score.