No, This isn't Starbucks, You arrogant bitch. (3531 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.44 on 129 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Intangible Hands (View user info) at 2005-04-09 05:32:36 EDT
I hate coffee drinkers. Being one myself, I know the type well. You know, those people who act as if they are somehow better than you because they have an "acquired taste". (People who drink their coffee black especially.) When the truth is, most are arrogant, pretentious, and/or just plain stupid. You are NOT better than me, nor are you more cultured/worldly because you bought the "special" blend from Starbucks.
Case and point-
I work at a drive through (ooooh ahhhhhh) coffee shop. The only one as far as I know in DuPage County. We have two drive through lanes and two big menu boards to order at before you come to the window. It's an Ok gig. Slow business means quality time with my XBOX on our little 13" TV. If only it weren't for the customers...
The customers...
The customers...
The customers...
Me on headset: "What can I get for you?"
Soccer mom with 18 kids: "I'll have a nonfatdoubleespressoextralargehalfdecafsugarfreevanillalattèwithoneequaltwosplendashalfpacketofsugarandnofoam".
Spoiled kids: "I WANT A COOKIE! I WANT CHOCOLATE MILK! I NEED MY INSULIN!"
Then we have these people:
Me: "what can I get for you?"
Moron: "I'll have a large coffee with cream, and a muffin".
(Starts to put car into drive to pull up)
Me: "Uhhhhh, what kind of muffin?"
Moron: (stops) "Oh... um... what kind do you have?"
Thinking to myself: WHAT?!?! YOU WERE JUST GOING TO SAY "MUFFIN" AND THAT'S IT?! YOU JUST STARED AT THE MENU FOR 20 MINUTES AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WE HAVE?!
Me: well all of our muffins are listed on the menu.
Moron: "where?... oh... um... huh... never mind, I'll just have the coffee."
Then we have these geniuses-
Me: "what can I get for you?"
Blind: "yea... uh... Do you guys have just coffee?"
Me: "you have got to be kidding me, did you not see the sign outside when you pulled in that says: COFFEE."
Blind: "I'm sorry; I am legally blind and therefore did not see your sign when I drove up. You see, my brain is directly linked to my vehicle and I see using a front mounted camera. With the peripheral vision the way it is, I was unable to see it. I will now commit ritualistic seppuku".
Me: "that's right".
Ok so maybe that was exaggerated, but people do in fact drive up and legitimately ask if we sell coffee, as if they didn't know.
It's these people I hate the most-
Me: "what can I get for you"
Bimbo in an SUV: "So like, the other day, like, I told him like, no way! Yea totally!"
I look to see the dumb bitch is on her cell phone
Me: (louder) "What can I get for you!"
Bimbo: "So like, I got the test results back, and like, Oh My God! Like Yea!"
I sit and wait for her brain to kick in and tell her why she is here to begin with. Finally she says:
"Like, hold on, I have to order my coffee. HELLOOOOOO!!!!! ARE YOU THERE!!!!! HELLOOOOO!!!!"
That's it you whore, now you get nothing but a boot to your fucking jaw.
Bimbo: "like, I am so sick of waiting!" (Drives away)
...You stupid bitch...
There is one customer in particular, who manages to garner all of my hatred into one centralized location... her face.
This woman would order an espresso macchiato, which is a tiny dollop of foam with espresso poured on top. This drink isn't on our menu, we usually only do caramel macchiatos. Which is really just a caramel latté. The first time she ordered it, I heard "macchiato" so I rang up a caramel macchiato and gave her the total. When she pulled up to the window, she demanded to know why it was so expensive, and exclaimed that Starbucks was cheaper. Now, I'm thinking, "Yea, so what bitch, does this LOOK like Starbucks to you?!" My Manager politely stepped in and explained how our menu worked, and decided to only charge her for 2 shots of espresso. (Which is a huge undercharge, but hey, what the hell.)
Well, she then proceeded to show up every day for weeks, and order the same thing every time, except every day, she would take the cup from my hand, pop the lid, and look at it with disgust, say: "I NEED MORE FOAM!" as I ready myself to tell this hooker to go fuck herself, my manager steps in and gives her what she wants. ALWAYS. What a pussy.
One human inevitability is that some day you will get sick and will be unable to perform your daily tasks, such as, come to work in your shitty coffee shop. When the manager is sick, I have to work alone all day.
Jackpot
Of course, this woman comes through on that day of days, and orders her fucking drink. And of course, she complains.
Arrogant bitch: "There isn't enough foam in this."
Me: "Any more foam, and I would have to charge you for a small cappuccino. I'm sorry."
Arrogant bitch: "what?! That's ridiculous! If I want a macchiato with extra foam, that's what you give me!"
Me: "NO, I'd be GIVING you a small cappuccino which is $2.67".
Arrogant bitch: That's just how I like my macchiato! At Starbucks I...
I cut her off. I don't have much patience when people yell at me.
Me: "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE STARBUCKS TO YOU?! I DIDN'T THINK SO! AND I KNOW DAMN SURE THIS ISNT BURGER KING EITHER! YOU DON'T GET IT "YOUR WAY" YOU GET IT "OUR WAY!!"
I am literally screaming at this woman
Me: "Starbucks is right down the street! Let them deal with your stupid ass!"
She looks at me with utter contempt. I stare right back at her. She then makes a face like she is pinching one off, grits her teeth, lets out some high pitch squeal, and throws the scalding hot espresso right in my face.
"WHAT THE FUCK!!" I yell as she speeds away.
As I struggle to get this hot fucking liquid off my face, 3 customers all pull in at the same time. I cant let them wait otherwise THEY get pissed, and I'm not quite in the mood for another incident. One thing about espresso is that if you leave it on your skin too long, it stains pretty bad. I had to take orders for about a half an hour with these stains all over my face.
I hate coffee drinkers.
(By the way, this is my first post here.)
User Reviews
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-07-31 15:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit, this bitch threw a scalding hot drink in your face? Are you kidding me? If you're not joking, I would make a concerted effort to find her. Then, I would have her arrested for assault and battery. Then, I would file a civil suit against her.
Any witnesses? Fuck, that's like a dream come true.
Submitted by LoVe_FaTe (user info) at 2006-07-31 15:49:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha! This was my favorite part:
"Like, hold on, I have to order my coffee. HELLOOOOOO!!!!! ARE YOU THERE!!!!! HELLOOOOO!!!!"
Jesus, we have so many people that do that! You're my new friend as we are commarrades in coffee-providing! lol Oh, but today (kinda similar to the muffin thing) we ran out of whipped cream and we had a few of these:
Person: Can I have a coolata with whipped cream?
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, we're all out of whipped cream today.
Person: *looks at me like I just slapped them* Um, nevermind... *walks out*
Me: (to co-worker) OMG, they just didn't buy a coolata BECAUSE it doesn't have whipped cream...
Sad, no? lol
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2006-02-20 08:22:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-04-09 08:50:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
If only it weren't for the customers...
Plus two for that line it reminded me of clerks
"This job would be great if it weren't for the fucking customers"
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heh liked it then, and like it now ;). My manager is a pussy as well, most people don't know it, but if you go up to most drive thrus and claim to have gotten an order wrong or whatever, you can get free food. They make it a policy to please everybody. And it really depends on who is on duty, cause some people will want to see a receipt and crap.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-20 08:05:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by IntangibleHands (user info) at 2005-09-10 14:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Vengance (user info) at 2005-08-28 18:20:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
Since you want to be a moron and try to stick up for your friends, or actually, he's probably you...
Here's another -2.
You can keep going if you like...
I've got all day, g.
*******************************************************************8
yes, we all know you're an internet geek. No need to further persuade us with your childish tactics.
Good job kid.
Submitted by Vengance (user info) at 2005-08-28 18:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Since you want to be a moron and try to stick up for your friends, or actually, he's probably you...
Here's another -2.
You can keep going if you like...
I've got all day, g.
Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-08-28 18:03:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-27 19:32:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
PS: Welcome to ubersite, noob!
___________________________________________________________________--
Just for being that stupid of a pc nerd to call someone a noob for making a post....
Now everyone of your last 30 posts truly expresses how we see your sexuality.
and your gay
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-08-28 17:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i feel better now. i'm sorry for the outburst.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-08-28 17:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just read a great fucking post! I laughed, I cried, I tore my peener off and threw it against the wall where it stuck with a hearty, wet "slap" then trailed a long line of blood as it slid down the eggshell paint...then I got to
'This is my first post here, by the way.'
So I sewed my cock back on and went over to your parents house and sodomized your mother while your father watched and cried as I made him masterbate at gunpoint.
Damn! I was hyped about +2ing this post but then that shit happened.
Good lord.
I won't give you a -2 cause it was a great post.
Welcome to Uber!
-1DI...er...umm...
-1CATCHASEXUALLYTRANSMITTEDDISEASE!
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-08-28 17:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-08-28 17:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i drink my coffee black. but i brew it myself so i don't have to deal with losers who work in coffeeshops. get a real job.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-08-27 20:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
People who talk to an inanimate object, deserve everything they get, or don't get.
Submitted by GroundHogSlayer (user info) at 2005-08-27 20:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dig man
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-27 20:10:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Adona (user info) at 2005-04-09 05:57:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
It was pretty good, but why did you announce it was your first post?
-
She did it at the end as though it doesn't matter, so it's okay.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-27 20:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THIS POST WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS.
Especially because you didn't explain the Ninja suiciede thing.
'AND I KNOW DAMN SURE THIS ISNT BURGER KING EITHER! YOU DON'T GET IT "YOUR WAY" YOU GET IT "OUR WAY!!"'
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-27 20:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate people who buy Starbucks' regular coffee, which sucks. Every one knows that people only go to Starbucks for two things: Frappucino, and mulitple Frappucinos. Any one who goes to Starbucks for all the extra non-frappucinos just likes the image.
Okay I don't care about the meaning of this post, nor have I ever had the regular Starbucks coffee, because I make that my self or go to Tim Hortons. I just wanted to add something.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2005-08-27 19:56:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh sorry...you're official uber welcome...
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2005-08-27 19:55:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done. Welcome.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-27 19:32:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
PS: Welcome to ubersite, noob!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-27 19:31:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by IntangibleHands (user info) at 2005-08-27 18:52:30 (#)
Ranking: -2
gay
Submitted by QuiteContrary (user info) at 2005-05-09 18:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a theory that Sword is your pissed-off-not-enough-foam-for-my-under-priced-macchiato idiot blonde. If not, why the argument?
As a coffee drinker with a regular order, you totally deserve a +2.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-05-09 17:41:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-04-11 01:01:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
you are a terrible employee, you should have just given her the extra foam or whatever it doesn't cost you anything jackass and your store will likely still have a high profit margin on the sale. Are you really so lazy as to not take an extra second to prepare her drink the way she likes it?
Your job is to serve the customer and not try and enforce your own vigalantee brand of pricing. You suck dick.
____________________
Sword, just fucking shut up, for Christ's sake...Williamson was in the right. Whether or not a profit is made is not the point; the point is that this cunt is a fool to fuck with food handlers and can jam her fucking macchiato in her starfish.
I'd like to see you in any eating establishment whose employees read Ubersite. They'd load your order up with so much rat poison, you'd be dead before your first taste hit your stomach. The world and Uber would suddenly become much more pleasent to dwell in.
Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-05-09 17:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY ASSHOLES: if he says it's his first posts and you wet your panties, deal with it. No need to fall into the catagory of "arrogant assholes" that he's talking about through his ENTIRE post. Get a fucking clue you morons, better yet, teabag my balls, you bitches.
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-04-13 21:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
that was a great post.....utterly ruined by saying this is your first post -2!
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-04-13 13:25:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I highly doubt this ever actually happened. Still a funny story though.
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:22:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm addicted to coffee but I honestly care quite little about what the name is or where it comes from as long as it's hot, the box says "coffee", and it tastes good.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-12 10:08:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by cpeachok (user info) at 2005-04-09 06:54:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
why are all your shops drives through?
you americans really that lazy?
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Naw, it's to cut time off the 2hour 10 mile commute in the morning.
Submitted by urbaneruralite (user info) at 2005-04-12 07:35:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hunt the white whale!
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-12 05:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The beauty about winning, sword, is that when you win other people recognise it too.
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-04-12 04:51:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wrong as always DanielH he said he gave up. Clearly I am thus the winner. Aren't you aware of the etiqute of internet debates? Both sides repeat the same arguments peppered with as many insults as they can creatively imbue until the side forefits. I win! Huray!
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-04-12 03:04:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Keep your panties on, Sword, no winner yet.
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-04-12 02:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hoa ha ha ha I win!
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-04-11 23:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice rant. We don't even have one Starbucks in Orange Beach (you don't work there but still).+++
I'll give a +2 (to the most recent post) of the first person who knows where the name "Starbuck" came from.) No hints, it's too easy. (Reply here, not to my last post.) This should get you a few more hits, Hands.
Submitted by urbaneruralite (user info) at 2005-04-11 23:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You work drive thru. Here's a +2 b/c your life sucks.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-11 23:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think sword threw a temper-tantrum recently when McDonald's put the wrong toy in his happy meal.
*zing*
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-11 23:06:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I give up arguing with Sword. No doubt he will believe this means he has "won". Whatever.
Never argue with an idiot. They just drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
Submitted by Kosta (user info) at 2005-04-11 22:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anyone who -2ed this post is fucking stupid. You are awesome.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-04-11 18:49:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2005-04-11 18:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Work would be great if it wasn't for the people.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-04-11 17:17:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
see now this is why you should stay in school kids
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-04-11 17:14:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by IntangibleHands (user info) at 2005-04-11 17:04:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-04-11 16:22:07 (#)
Ranking: -2
if they don't intend to do it then I would expect them to inform you of that fact clearly yet politely. What I would not expect them to do is first tell you that is acceptable, continue to provide the deal for about a week and then suddenly and rudely rescind their offer.
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It would seem to me my dear boy, that yet and still, you cannot quite grasp this concept. What she asked for at the time of the incident, is in fact not what we had been serving her. Her insatiable greed and arrogance led her to believe she could keep asking for more (read that word a few times)without us charging her for it. What she had ordered the first time she came to our coffee shop was annoying, but acceptable. however, it is not acceptable to assume that we will allow customers to indulge further into our generosity without some sort of compensation. Our arm of politeness only stretches so far.
The point you obviously missed, is that I, as well as the business I work for, will not be taken advantage of. Not I, nor my manager, nor the owner, care about losing the business of people like her or you. We are privately owned and can refuse to serve anyone, anything, at anytime.
Just because I get extra cheese on my burger for free, doesn't mean I should get an extra pattie for free. It doesnt mean that every day, I can go into Mcdonald's and EXPECT more free food on top of what they are already giving me for free. And it sure as hell does not mean that I have the right to get upset if they refuse to keep giving more and more free food, just because I asked for it.
Let's put this into perspective for you, shall we?
When she asked for a dollop of foam, it would be the Mcdonald's equivalent of asking for extra cheese. When she asked for the cup to be half full of foam, that would be the Mcdonald's equivalent of asking for an extra pattie on my cheeseburger, WITH extra cheese.
WHOOO! WHOOO! Here comes the clue train! next stop, you!
The day she threw the cup in my face, she asked for it to be all the way full, which would be the Mcdonald's equivalent of asking for a Value meal, but you only want to pay for the sandwich. This would be WAY beyond the free cheese agreement.
If you were in fact literate, you would have read the part where I politely told her that that I could not do that without charging her for what she was asking. Which is in fact, MY JOB. I only responded the way I did, in response to HER outlandish response. This was not a dealbreaker, as you so ignorantly viewed it as. This was a customer who went too far, and it had to come to an end.
So, my dear, dear Sword,
please read my post, as well as my responses a few more times. Better yet! Have someone read them to you. You wouldn't want to go and strain yourself. If by then you STILL don't understand, then take your incoherent babble over to Starbucks, They'll love you there.
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-04-11 16:22:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Judging by your use of caps lock in that post"
I use caps lock to denote emphasis and irritation as if I am remaking a point I have already made several times, hey no problem that you didn't pick up on that, you are still exceeding your parents expectations simply by the fact that you are managing to use a computer without wetting yourself.
"You seemed to miss the key factor of my post"
You seemed to miss the key factor of my responce. Lets review
1) It is your job to prepare and deliver food to the customer
2) She wants a certain type of food that you can make
3) She has already negotatied a price with your manager
It would seem that your duty here is clear. Obey the mandate of your manager and do the reasonable thing, deliver food at the prices your superiors tell you to.
"Can I go to Mcdonalds or Burger King and ask for an slice of cheese on my burger? Sure. No problem. But what if after I do it every day for a week"
Then, unless their employees are as incompetent as you, they will continue to give you the extra slice of cheese and be glad for their continued oppurtunity to sell you their product.
"I start to ask for an extra pattie of meat on my burger at no extra cost? Is that fair? Will they do it? Fuck no."
If they don't intend to do it then I would expect them to inform you of that fact clearly yet politely. What I would not expect them to do is first tell you that is acceptable, continue to provide the deal for about a week and then suddenly and rudely rescind their offer.
This attitude of yours is why you will be damned to menial service for the rest of your working life
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-11 15:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you hate coffee drinkers, yet you work at a coffee place - hmm.
Here is my sage and thought-out advice as to how you can improve your situation, lower your stress, and achieve fulfillment in your chosen vocation....
*ahem*
FIND ANOTHER JOB, DIPSHIT!!!!!
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-04-11 15:20:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hot damn. This was amazing.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-11 10:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I worked at Chick-fil-A when I was 16. People would drive up to the drive thru and order hamburgers. Fucking morons.
Welcome.
Submitted by canadia (user info) at 2005-04-11 10:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
woohoo intangible hands!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-11 10:35:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I always knock on the microphone screen at drive throughs: it sounds like a bomb going off in the poor window-jockey's ears.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-04-11 10:14:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Good go. Carry on.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-11 09:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ritual seppuku is always a safe bet
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-11 07:14:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sword is making me laugh.
Submitted by IntangibleHands (user info) at 2005-04-11 06:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-04-11 05:02:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
Uh, oh williamson is getting angry, did I hurt your little feelings williamson?
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Judging by your use of caps lock in that post and your other witty insults like "shit faggot", it would seem that you sir, are the angry one.
You seemed to miss the key factor of my post Mr. Sword, and that is that every time she came to my store, she asked for MORE at the same price.
Can I go to Mcdonalds or Burger King and ask for an slice of cheese on my burger? Sure. No problem. But what if after I do it every day for a week, I start to ask for an extra pattie of meat on my burger at no extra cost? Is that fair? Will they do it? Fuck no. Do I have any right to think that I am special because I ordered extra cheese for a week and I deserve an extra pattie for free? Fuck no.
I'll forgive you for your ingorance, Sword, because you are only 9 years old and have trouble deciphering the english languange.
Submitted by A-Daamage (user info) at 2005-04-11 05:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great, you wrapped that up. Now wrap your head up in a plastic bag until your dreams of making any sense diminish with the rest of your breath-wasting life.
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-04-11 05:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It is pretty simple A-Daamage the Andromeda galaxy as you probably know is the closest to us excluding our own galaxy, the Milky Way, and the several satellite galaxies around the Milky Way. Since this is an obvious and verifiable astronomical fact we can then use a sequence of logical and deductive reasoning to deduce the following.
The Andromeda Galaxy is a dipshit.
That is the connection between the Andromeda Galaxy and williamson. They are both dipshits.
Submitted by A-Daamage (user info) at 2005-04-11 05:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This may be the single dumbest thing to ever have been put into words:
"You, Mr. Williamson, are like the andromeda galaxy. You are a dipshit."
I'd really like to hear the connection there. I'm sure this will be entertaining to say the least.
Great post, by the way. I really hope that contemptuous bitch-hag makes the mistake again at another coffee shop and gets caught. She's got a whole mountain of karma ready to drop on her psycho-bitch ass.
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-04-11 05:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Uh, oh williamson is getting angry, did I hurt your little feelings williamson?
"How bout I go there and order a fucking cheeseburger Sword? "
Yeah, ordering food they obviously don't serve is very similar to ordering food that they do serve and that you have HAD THERE BEFORE! Maybe when this woman got to the drive through she just assumed they had foamy coffee and when she ordered it this dumbass wasn't paying enough attention to tell her otherwise. Furthermore after she ordered it that first day and got it and then ordered it several other days and recieved it at a certain price she had every right to expect that the coffee shop wouldn't suddenly deposit supreme executive power in the hands of their ill mannered and uncooth server boy and deny her her traditional drink.
"If it's not on the menu, don't order it. I don't"
If everybody didn't do everything you don't williamson the human race would soon become extinct (cause no one would be having sex. Hetero sex anyway). Heaven forbid you ask for special treatment at a fast food restaraunt and make those poor overworked children miss a few seconds of their precious xbox games to prepare the food you are about to pay for.
"It's NOT the responsibility of the company to suit your needs"
THAT IS EXACTLY THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE COMPANY YOU STUPID ASS. How old are you? When people go to work they should be working the entire to do their job to the satisfaction of their employer and their customers. This is how all industry is fundamentally run, by suiting the needs of the customer.
"This bitch was just arrogant like yourself. "
Yeah man you are totally right. It was so arrogant of me to ask for a specific variety of food at a fast food restaruant.
If there is such a thing as karma I'm going to punch you in the face
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-11 03:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How bout I go there and order a fucking cheeseburger Sword?
If it's not on the menu, don't order it. I don't. But then again i show some sort of courtesy towards my fellow man. You greedy bastards just want everything your way, well I'll tell you what. It's NOT the responsibility of the company to suit your needs. If you don't find the company fits your expectations find another (like this bitch who should've gone to starbucks).
This bitch was just arrogant like yourself.
Go rimjob a snuffleufagus, dick.
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-04-11 03:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
williamson you are a dumbass I'll explain why.
"Let her make her own fucking coffee then. If it isn't on the menu then don't order it. How fucking difficult is that?"
If she wanted to make her own coffee then she wouldn't go to the store and assholes like this guy wouldn't have jobs. The idea of buying prepared food is that you don't have to make it yourself you stupid sack of shit. How fucking difficult is it for this douchebag to DO HIS MOTHERFUCKING JOB and add foam or whatever the hell to this woman's coffee?
"His job is to sell the company's products to consumers at the regulated prices the company has set. "
Yeah, and this cocklick isn't the company incarnate. His manager told him how to handle the situation and he ignored it because he was too lazy and inept to properly prepare coffee.
"If there is any special request for a product (such as more foam) then the company has the right to come up with the price for it and the customer has to take it or leave it. His "vigilante" brand of pricing was EXACTLY the same as the company's. "
No shit faggot, the company comes up with prices for everything even if it isn't a special request. His vigilante brand of pricing was fundamentally different from the company's (as represented appropriately by the manager) in the sense that instead of giving the woman coffee he just yelled at her like the boorish moron he undoubtedly is.
You, Mr. Williamson, are like the andromeda galaxy. You are a dipshit.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-04-11 02:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First post and on the most heated... Did Bart tell you that you had a purdy mouth?
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2005-04-11 01:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-04-11 01:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Definitely not bad for a first post. Keep it up man.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-11 01:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-04-11 01:01:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
you are a terrible employee, you should have just given her the extra foam or whatever it doesn't cost you anything jackass and your store will likely still have a high profit margin on the sale. Are you really so lazy as to not take an extra second to prepare her drink the way she likes it?
Your job is to serve the customer and not try and enforce your own vigalantee brand of pricing. You suck dick.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Let her make her own fucking coffee then. If it isn't on the menu then don't order it. How fucking difficult is that? His job isn't to serve the customer. He's not a fucking butler. His job is to sell the company's products to consumers at the regulated prices the company has set.
If there is any special request for a product (such as more foam) then the company has the right to come up with the price for it and the customer has to take it or leave it. His "vigilante" brand of pricing was EXACTLY the same as the company's.
You, Mr Sword are a fool.
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-04-11 01:02:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh yeah and minus 2
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-04-11 01:01:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you are a terrible employee, you should have just given her the extra foam or whatever it doesn't cost you anything jackass and your store will likely still have a high profit margin on the sale. Are you really so lazy as to not take an extra second to prepare her drink the way she likes it?
Your job is to serve the customer and not try and enforce your own vigalantee brand of pricing. You suck dick.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-04-10 22:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking coffee drinkers. I get my caffeine by IV drips and drinking a dangerous amount of Coke each day. I refuse to support those dirty Columbians and others from Central America. Those assholes killed Scarface.
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2005-04-10 22:13:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad...
im not one of those coffee culture people you mentioned.
but i just cant bring myself to drink folgers or hills bros. coffee. not nearly strong enough, and it tastes like ass.
Submitted by tom3 (user info) at 2005-04-10 21:50:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
She's probably going to the Starbucks down the road now; sue her!
Submitted by Doctorgeorge90001 (user info) at 2005-04-10 21:14:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
is it ironic if i was drinking coffee while i read this?
starbucks is a fat load of anal. so are all coffe houses (that i know of). Just buy the cheap supermarket brand, drink it with milk, and get the fuck over yourselves. coffee culture my ass.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-10 19:46:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YES!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2005-04-10 19:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What a whore.
Submitted by TMedeiros (user info) at 2005-04-10 13:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ever since I left the Seattle area..the thing I miss most is gladly shelling out my 2.75 for a 4 shot jamacian rum Latte.. and then using the last quarter for a handful of choclate covered esspresso beans...I ordered my favorite drink down here in South Carolina.. and the stuff is over 5 bucks..
Submitted by IntangibleHands (user info) at 2005-04-10 13:04:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Unfortunatly for me, we have no cameras in my store, so I do not know her license plate #. She has not returned since the incident which is not surprising. Otherwise, you'd best believe I'd slap her with a lawsuit and give it to her where it hurts.
...In the ass I mean.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-04-10 06:54:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because I am eating pringles.
-Dave
Submitted by likeeatingglass (user info) at 2005-04-10 06:47:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome. you're a fucking genius.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-10 06:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All i know are black coffees, white coffes and cappucinos. Anything beyond that is too yuppie for me.
Submitted by XII (user info) at 2005-04-10 02:24:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
first post?? under this name right??
plus two
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-04-10 01:30:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i used to run a cafe. do NOT get me STARTED on MACCHIATOS.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-04-09 21:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bimbo: "like, I am so sick of waiting!" (Drives away)
...You stupid bitch...
______________________________
What a goon.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-04-09 21:50:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, Oscar... I think you becoming a lawyer would be considered a "feloney" in itself. I hope you've chosen a career in cosmetics.
Submitted by Oscar (user info) at 2005-04-09 21:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
IANAL (i am not a laywer, non of this should be construed as legal advice, should you require legal advice consult your yellow pages for one)
but aggrevated assault is a feloney, and assault with hot coffee is recognized as assault by the police, regarless of how you were treating the lady.
and you cannot lose your job over it either, so make a case and sue her.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-04-09 21:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was almost EXACTLY like my first post. I hate service work. When I am Queen... oh yes, when I am Queen...
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-09 20:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1) you have a bad manager
2) you should press charges
3) demand tips. if they have no more money shoot BB's at their tires.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-04-09 20:45:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-04-09 19:18:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
i r wiener!
----
but with a +2
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-04-09 19:53:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
savage post, idiotic last line (hence the "1" rating), and this was funny:
+++
as I ready myself to tell this hooker....
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-04-09 19:20:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who fucking cares how many posts he's made?
Its irrelevant..
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2005-04-09 19:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great post. You should have pressed charges against the woman on the off chance that your case would have been seen by a judge who actually worked his way through law school and would have therefore sentenced her to death in sympathy to your ordeal. Stupid bitch.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-04-09 19:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i r wiener!
Submitted by IntangibleHands (user info) at 2005-04-09 19:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok guys, Sorry for saying that it was my first post. I was unaware you were all so **sensitive**
Forgive my "Squirley Ignorance",
But don't you think that this post would make more of an impact having known it was made by an Uber-Virgin? Maybe thats just my Keerraazzyy logic.
Submitted by Prez (user info) at 2005-04-09 19:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Touche
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-04-09 18:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Starbucks is the best.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-04-09 18:49:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I really want to give you a +2, except you said that this was your first post. If you hadn't said that, You'd get a +2. Hell, mabye even TWO. This is prime Ubersite material.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2005-04-09 18:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by cpeachok (user info) at 2005-04-09 06:54:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
why are all your shops drives through?
you americans really that lazy?
________________________________
Hey! We're not lazy! We just don't want to have to circle the parking lot for an hour waiting for a spot right next to the entrance, park the car, peel ourselves off the seat, get up off our fat asses, and waddle the whole five foot distance to the coffee shop. And don't forget the waddle back. It's much too strenuous. Besides, there's no A/C during the waddle to and from the place. Do you want us to die from a heart attack or overheating? Huh? Do you? Geez, if you call that lazy then I wonder what you'd think about those people who ride around in the remote control wheelchairs all day and don't even stand up to walk to the bathroom.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-09 18:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-04-09 13:36:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
She attacked you, with Hot Coffee...
She is in deep shit.....
Get her arrested man...
or...
'doing something' to the coffee and give it to her free?
===================================================================
A random act of violence would have made for a better story. If you didn't want to throw a big heavy piece of something at her, taking a dump in her coffee would be great too.
Oh, and I hate coffee. How do you all drink that shit?
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2005-04-09 18:00:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't happen to work here, do you?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/30842
If that was you, I'm sorry.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-04-09 17:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.....
My life will be the death of me.
Submitted by AndyD (user info) at 2005-04-09 16:44:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2005-04-09 15:26:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by cpeachok (user info) at 2005-04-09 06:54:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
why are all your shops drives through?
you americans really that lazy?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not lazy, efficient. Work smarter, not harder.
Not lazy, morbidly obese.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-04-09 16:27:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Food service jobs suck. Hands down.
Submitted by Grim_Hippie (user info) at 2005-04-09 15:27:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shouldn't have said this was your first post. But +2 because I work in an artsy fartsy theater and have to make coffee drinks. I've seen people take a word like Macchiato, and turn it into "Mocheeter." No, I'm not fucking kidding...
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2005-04-09 15:26:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by cpeachok (user info) at 2005-04-09 06:54:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
why are all your shops drives through?
you americans really that lazy?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not lazy, efficient. Work smarter, not harder.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-04-09 15:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2005-04-09 13:18:18 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-04-09 07:34:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is the first time a first post got anything more than a -2 from me.
-----------
I dont get all of you and your obsession with giving first posts -2s just because it was a first post. If it was written decently, made sense, and wasnt spelled to bad, there is no reason to -2 any post.
------------------------
Most first posts are horrible pieces of shit. Mine was fucking god-awful.
You know what I got?
A shitload of -2's and people telling me to either die or leave Uber.
I haven't really improved but at least I use paragraphs now.
Submitted by sence (user info) at 2005-04-09 14:45:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by cpeachok (user info) at 2005-04-09 06:54:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
why are all your shops drives through?
you americans really that lazy?
---------------------------------------------------
Why yes, as a matter of fact we are. Don't be jealous that you have to remove yourself from a sitting position to get your coffee.
Submitted by toga (user info) at 2005-04-09 14:44:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Customers are always the worst part of any job.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-04-09 14:10:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A) I forsee a lawsuit.
B) If she ever comes back, either 'accidentally' spill scalding hot coffee on her lap/in her car or give her a cup that has only foam in it.
C) Good first post.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-04-09 13:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She attacked you, with Hot Coffee...
She is in deep shit.....
Get her arrested man...
or...
'doing something' to the coffee and give it to her free?
Submitted by Bayley (user info) at 2005-04-09 13:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'va always wanted to do that, minus the scalding espresso in the face.
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2005-04-09 13:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You'll take YOUR coffee with a +2, bitch.
Good post.
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2005-04-09 13:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-04-09 07:34:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is the first time a first post got anything more than a -2 from me.
-----------
I dont get all of you and your obsession with giving first posts -2s just because it was a first post. If it was written decently, made sense, and wasnt spelled to bad, there is no reason to -2 any post.
Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2005-04-09 12:32:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am also confused as to why you announced your first post. It really ruined the story for me when I was about to +2 it
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Felter, you're a tool.
Submitted by Howie_Felter (user info) at 2005-04-09 11:57:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-04-09 06:26:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
one thing you will notice: most people on ubersite seem to work in the service industry and hate both their customers and coworkers. Your job doesn't sound that bad!
================================================================================================
SO true! I work at an internet call center and I could go on for HOURS about the stuidity/arrogantness that I deal with on an hourly basis.........
I am also confused as to why you announced your first post. It really ruined the story for me when I was about to +2 it.
Submitted by rdn4 (user info) at 2005-04-09 11:48:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That sucks man, nothing worse than people who feel entitled to special treatment.
Good post as well
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-04-09 11:12:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And suddenly I'm proud that I'm a tea drinker..
Submitted by GreenRiver (user info) at 2005-04-09 11:11:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-04-09 10:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-04-09 06:26:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
one thing you will notice: most people on ubersite seem to work in the service industry and hate both their customers and coworkers. Your job doesn't sound that bad!
------------------------------
That's why I'm here. I read everyone else's bullshit and sit back and say "Haha, my job isn't so bad after all."
Oh, and awesome first post Intangible! Well done!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-09 10:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome first post.
I have the feeling that you'll do well here.
Submitted by project_nessa (user info) at 2005-04-09 10:02:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanna be there.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2005-04-09 09:14:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You tell a good story, and you understand the pain of being a barista. +2 for both. Good luck man, don't let them see your pain.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-04-09 08:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Coffee, the root of all evil. I shall now go pour another mug.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-04-09 08:50:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If only it weren't for the customers...
Plus two for that line it reminded me of clerks
"This job would be great if it weren't for the fucking customers"
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-04-09 08:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Blind: "I'm sorry; I am legally blind and therefore did not see your sign when I drove up. You see, my brain is directly linked to my vehicle and I see using a front mounted camera. With the peripheral vision the way it is, I was unable to see it. I will now commit ritualistic seppuku".
-=-=
teh roxxors
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2005-04-09 08:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit.
I think I'm gonna cry.
It's your first post, and... and... it wasn't complete bullshit!
I'm so proud.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-09 08:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was brilliant in many ways, why in the hell did you announce it was your first post? Don't you know these guys hate that?
Either way I enjoyed it tremendously
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-04-09 07:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice work
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-04-09 07:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I NEED MORE FOAM!" as I ready myself to tell this hooker to go fuck herself, my manager steps in and gives her what she wants. ALWAYS. What a pussy.
------------------------------
YES YES YES!!!!
I think this is the first time a first post got anything more than a -2 from me.
Congrats it's all downhill from here.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-04-09 07:11:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think you're cut out for retail work, mate.
Submitted by cpeachok (user info) at 2005-04-09 06:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why are all your shops drives through?
you americans really that lazy?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-04-09 06:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
one thing you will notice: most people on ubersite seem to work in the service industry and hate both their customers and coworkers. Your job doesn't sound that bad!
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-04-09 06:04:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Vapid customers suck.
Submitted by Adona (user info) at 2005-04-09 05:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was pretty good, but why did you announce it was your first post?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-04-09 05:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Personally I like truck stop coffee. Jebus, that stuff has teeth!