One size Fits All (NSFW) (2590 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.84 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by pen_name (View user info) at 2005-04-09 14:23:56 EDT
We have something straight out of development here at P.E.N. industries and it's ready to hit the Market.
While we have had good success with our "Quick-Acting Horny Remover" (http://www.ubersite.com/m/54699) we decided it was time to branch out into other areas—to institute a general change of direction.
To be frank, we thought it prudish to eliminate an effective hard-on when it isn't always necessary to do so. Why should a man, sitting happily in his own home, let his engorged penis succumb to disuse?
Up until this point, males tended to brush off opportunistic seminal eliminations, simply due to lack of desire.
"Where's the fun" Asks Bob Ryan, an in-home pervert. "All day long it's jerk off--clean up; jerk off-clean up—sometimes I just say fuck it."
We understand completely. That's why we've attempted to add a little more spice to those otherwise dreary ejaculations. In fact, we think our latest creation goes beyond that—providing an almost Zen state of being.
We call it the "Cordless Fuck You in the Ass While Giving You the God Damn Courtesy of a Reach Around" machine. CFYITAWGYTGDCOARA for short.
It went through many designs, but through trial and error, we've eliminated most of the bugs. As the name suggests it runs on its own power supply—namely the battery out of an old Chevy Nova; it's fully adjustable, and it blends in with almost any home décor.
Act fast because we expect to sell out of the first shipment almost immediately.
Take care and enjoy, from your friends at P.E.N. industries
User Reviews
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-12-08 21:27:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I had one, I'd never leave my house again, wait... nevermind
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-12-08 20:38:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome. get fucked in the ass and punched in the ribs at the same time. i've always wanted.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-12-08 20:11:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like he's getting punched in the stomach while a robot is wiping his ass.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-08 20:00:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GAH!
...
I want one.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-04-06 15:03:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
omg!
Submitted by SyntaxZero (user info) at 2005-04-11 04:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-09 19:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the things I could do with a doo dad like that...
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-04-09 18:01:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Finally! a true deuce today.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-09 17:46:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
badass
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-04-09 16:46:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The effort that obviously went into this warrents a +2, but all I saw in terms of a reach-around was a bit of hip rubbing. It's all in the details, you sick bastard.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-04-09 16:09:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Galgos27 (user info) at 2005-04-09 15:33:51 (#)
Ranking: 1
DULCE...COD?
.................
i'm sorry, but answers must be in the form of a question
"what is" DULCE...COD?
and in case anyone wonders...i have no clue what that means.
Submitted by Galgos27 (user info) at 2005-04-09 15:33:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
DULCE...COD?
Submitted by Feebleattempt (user info) at 2005-04-09 15:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great job on the GIF. +2
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-09 15:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for lego technik pieces!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-04-09 14:24:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, I did make this gif. Yes, it took a while.
Yes, I had to look through gay porn to find the volunteer.
Sorry it's so big; any smaller and I would have sacrificed the integrity of the art.