Go Ahead - Laugh at My Pain. (Tim's first visit to Yankee Stadium) (740 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.7 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (View user info) at 2005-04-10 23:11:05 EDT
Another first in the life of Tim was had today.
Today I ventured into the Bronx to observe the New York Yankees get smitten by the Baltimore Orioles. My metrosexual roommate calls me friday night when I was in DC, and informs me that he has an extra two tickets for the Sunday game.
"They're really good seats," he tells me. I don't expect much, being that he likely doesn't know a changeup from a group shower. We get in, and enter through the Stadium Club, which we are not allowed to stay in because we are not dressed appropriately.
Section 10. The usher escorts us to our seats, which, much to my delight, were 4 rows from the field, right behind the Orioles dugout. I could have seen the veins pulsing on Rafael Palmeiro's viagra-induced errection. Remember kids, errections lasting longer than four hours, although rare, require immediate medical attention.
I watched A Rod strike out. I watched 30,000 Yankees "fans" boo their superstar 20 million dollar man after a simple strikeout. I watched Derek Jeter come out to a new 50 cent song every time he came to the plate. Faggot.
I understand why people from New York take pride in their Yankees. I understand why they feel they are better than everyone else. 26 world championships...good job. You can take those 26 rings and shove them up your ass, and then your ass will be worth more than the entire Boston Red Sox organization. At least that's according to the 10 year old who was sitting next to me.
I don't understand why the entire stadium would boo a player on their own team for a simple strike out.
I don't understand why people like to play for the Yankees.
I don't understand.
I understand that you like the team. I understand that your name is probably Vinny, and you're probably from Staten Island.
I don't understand eating cottage cheese out of a plastic helmet at a baseball game.
I understand Sunburn. I sat in the sun for about 4 hours today, in a Medford High tanktop and have the markings to show.
I understand pain.
Go ahead - Laugh.
User Reviews
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-04-11 10:48:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SUNSCREEN IS FOR JERKS!
i've always kind of liked a good sunburn. now i consider it to be the physical equivalent of a "comfort food"
plus aloe feels good.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-04-11 10:48:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! You're sunburned!
- Vinny from Staten Island.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-04-11 10:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Derek Jeter? Faggot? Obviously your thoughts were heard by the yankee gods and they struck you with one narsty ass sunburn. Bo-JEEZUS, man.....
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-11 10:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tim. Sunscreen. Ever hear of it?
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-04-11 09:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Jislaaik! That's gotta hurt...
If I may suggest something? Take some oatmeal and make a paste with milk, runnier than when you would eat it. It makes an brilliant salve, rehydrates you and takes away the burn.
Or a fairly hot bath with loads of baby oil. And aloe.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-04-11 08:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hhahahaha now *that* is one boston baked bean.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-04-11 08:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yankee fans are like fickle children, only dumber.
Nice tan, redcoat.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-11 08:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-04-11 03:22:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
new yorkers boo their mother if they take too long to be born.
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Bwahahahaha...too true.
-2 for slamming the Yankees.
+1 for getting a sunburn. I got a really bad one there too. I DO feel your pain.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-04-11 03:22:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
new yorkers boo their mother if they take too long to be born.
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2005-04-11 01:52:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I don't understand eating cottage cheese out of a plastic helmet at a baseball game."
Is cottage cheese some kinda delicacy in the Bronx? Or New York?
Thats just disgusting
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-04-11 01:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
You look like a lobster!!!! HA, WHERE ARE YOUR CLAWS AT CAPTAIN NUTCRUNCHER? Gotcha!
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-04-11 01:25:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
he likely doesn't know a changeup from a group shower = +2
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-04-11 01:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-04-10 23:32:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Matsui is the ugliest man alive. I wish the UN would pass a resolution about this or something.
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Submitted by Bayley (user info) at 2005-04-10 23:29:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
For this: Derek Jeter come out to a new 50 cent song every time he came to the plate. Faggot.
Because he is a faggot. A-rod is a faggot. Matsui is a little bitch faggot.
Go SOX!!!!!!!!!
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PERFECT DESCRIPTIONS OF EVERYTHING!
Submitted by rock_music (user info) at 2005-04-11 01:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
re sunrays
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you put on sunblock and a hat ,than get skin cancer uh?
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-04-11 01:00:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First Penn State game of 2003...
came home witha tan exactly like that, except for half of my face was burnt. One half covered by my hat's briom, the other not.
It was way cooler.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-04-11 00:29:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW
Submitted by Abbath (user info) at 2005-04-11 00:13:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I see chest hair.
Rawr.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-04-11 00:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, Timmy, HONEY. OW.
Go Sox woo!
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-04-11 00:00:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"I'm not just the Hair Club president, I'm also..." Well, I'll be a member once they run my card.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-04-10 23:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
/\!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-10 23:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
holy crap tim!
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-04-10 23:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Matsui is the ugliest man alive. I wish the UN would pass a resolution about this or something.
Submitted by Bayley (user info) at 2005-04-10 23:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For this: Derek Jeter come out to a new 50 cent song every time he came to the plate. Faggot.
Because he is a faggot. A-rod is a faggot. Matsui is a little bitch faggot.
Go SOX!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-10 23:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh heh... It's not even EVEN! GO SOX WOO!!!
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-04-10 23:13:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Treadmill
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-04-10 23:13:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YANKEES SUCK!!!
GO SOX WOO!