The Shining, Turrets, and That Dead Guy With the Really Big Hats (3899 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.55 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ducky (View user info) at 2005-04-11 07:26:21 EDT
I loved the movie The Shining and I thought it was great for it's time. I can't get over one thing though. When the elevator door opens and blood streams out, it makes me think of the old Ocean Spray cranberry juice commercials. Remember the slogan 'ride the wave'? Well I think the slogan should have been changed to 'this wave isn't really cranberry juice kids. It's the blood of the dead."
There used to be this guy who'd come into my favorite coffee shop. He definitely wasn't all there. I'm sure he had turrets syndrome (sp?) mixed with a little bit of old crazy man syndrome. Every day around 3pm he'd come in, order a brownie, and place it in front of him. He'd then proceed to glare at it, tell it to fuck off for about half an hour (i.e. "FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF, FUUUUUCCCKKKK OFFFFF! ARRRGGGHHH!"), and leave. I haven't seen him in a while and I wonder where he's been.
I've decided that I should be Pope. I want to wear his hats. I know, I know. I'm not religious or anything, but does it really matter? I told my friend this, and he said no, that the new Pope would be a black guy. I said, "I could be black". He said, "Lauren, you're not even very good at being white".
It's snowing outside. STILL. I can't fucking wait for summer.
I think that of all the animals out there, it's ridiculous that we drink cow's milk. I maintain that there is a huge conspiracy surrounding this. Really, the stuff was created for baby cows- animals that are intended to more than double their weight in a month. North Americans have one of the highest rates of osteoporosis in the world, and we drink the most milk. Go figure. Places where people get most of their calcium from dark green vegetables (i.e. Japan), have incredibly low rates. We weren't meant to be drinking it. This made me think of what the world would be like if all our milk and cheese and what not came from humans. The idea of eating breast milk cheese makes me want to vomit.
I love my car. My car is a huge piece of crap. I'd kick it if I didn't think that in doing so the entire thing would crumble to pieces. But I love it. It's a sick cycle of abuse. My car is a battered housewife.
I had a dream the other night that I was running on a lakeshore with my dog when suddenly some bizarre animal bit off the dog's head and jumped into the lake with it. I stared at the body, unmoving, for what seemed like a long time before I woke up.
User Reviews
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-04-13 03:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
somehow, this all made sense to me.
Submitted by Herman (user info) at 2005-04-11 22:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"My car is a battered housewife."
i nearly died. thanks for the laugh.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-11 22:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
mmmmm... cheesy breast milk
Submitted by cpeachok (user info) at 2005-04-11 08:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love wild ramblings of a weird unknown person in the morning, this being the morning as I'm lazy and just got up (1:55 GMT).
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-04-11 08:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the black crayon comment.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-04-11 08:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jezus. My post is on the Shining too. I didn't see yours. That might be a bit of an explanation as to why mine is vomiting blood.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-04-11 08:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
turrets syndrome. haha.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-04-11 08:15:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You funny.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-04-11 08:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tur·ret ( P ) Pronunciation Key (tûrt, tr-)
n.
A small tower or tower-shaped projection on a building.
I never said I was the brightest crayon in the pack. If I was a crayon, I'd probably be the black one in terms of brightness. See??? I can be black. That's sure-fire proof that I'm the next Pope. Where's my big hat?
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-11 08:00:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Randomness. I liked it.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-11 07:56:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tourettes Syndrome
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-04-11 07:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, probably. Shit happens. It's 5am and I'm at work for another 2 hours (on my day off). At this particular juncture in my life I'm not really concerned about order, just when I'll be able to drive home and pass out.
Submitted by Sarcasticus (user info) at 2005-04-11 07:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should've saved brownie guy for last.